lexihaze
32Milwaukee, United States
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lexihaze
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My self-summary
Hey dudes of OKCupid internet dating land. What's up. My name is Lexi.
You're probably looking at this because you like my face. Either that or I've been e-stalking you. OR maybe your cat just walked onto your computer and clicked on my profile. A catastrophe. Yeah. Let that one sink in.
ANYWAY.

Um. Let's see.
I recently moved back here from LA, which is a mega super huge bummer, but I blew through my savings on Disneyland and really expensive rent, so.. c'est la vie, it was good times. No regrets. Except the moving back here part.

I like making art. It's kind of the one thing I've excelled at my whole life. It's constant, it's catharsis. I'm an art school drop-out, which I'm sure sounds really appealing. Yes, my parents are so proud.

I have a mangy old dog named Kiely. We have an unhealthy parasitic relationship. I'm basically her human slave and joyride chauffeur. But in turn I get to try desperately to cuddle her while she literally kicks me. It's pretty great. I freestyle little songs about my love for her when we're alone. Shhhh. She's my sunshine and my best friend and my benevolent(ish) overlord. Dogs are pure furry magic and pretty much my favorite thing ever.

I should also mention now that I love puns. Just so that's out there.
What I’m doing with my life
Uh. What? Cuddling with dogs I guess.
I just started working at a driving range and boy do I hate golf! I apprenticed as a tattooer in LA so I'm hoping to get something going on that front sooner or later.

But mostly cuddling with dogs.
I’m really good at
Staying up all night. Navigating subway systems. Procrastinating. Making banana bread. Looking 5+ years younger than I actually am.
The first things people usually notice about me
That I am human, female, and have all my limbs. But I'm just guessing.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I like books. A lot. I devour books like the cookie monster does cookies. Or broccoli. Whatever he's into now-a-days. I am going to be honest, I read a lot of trash. I'm not that cool. I'm reading Harry Potter again if you're curious. Which you're probably not. Harry Potter is most definitely not trash though.

Movies... The Family Stone is my favorite. I ain't ashamed. It's so great. Wristcutters, lots of things with Audrey Hepburn (yeah maybe I'm basic so what I don't need your judgement), Coraline, What We Do in the Shadows, etc. I'm also a hardcore marathon watcher of Lord of the Rings. I get goosebumps every time. Battle of effing Helm's Deep, man.

TV. I like to knit and watch Netflix which I call "Knitflix." Yeah whatever people besides your grandma can knit and it's totally fine.
I've been really into Orphan Black lately. And The Fall, oh my god. And The Man in the High Castle. And and I'm always into The X-Files. I guess basically dark sci-fi and really twisty murdery stuff is kinda my jam. I also like lame shit like Gilmore Girls because nostalgia for my youth and all that.
I haven't seen more than the first two episodes of Game of Thrones and I'm starting to feel like I no longer fit into society because of it. Like just the other day I saw Al Gore on MSNBC referencing Game of Thrones. AL GORE YOU GUYS. I mean come on.
Ahem. But I digress.

I'm pretty hopelessly out of touch with current music and I'm pretty OK with it. I still have an iPod with a click-wheel. Guess I'm getting curmudgeonly and resistant to technological advances. Um. Should I list some stuff? Sure, what the hell, here goes. Simon and Garfunkel first because my mom used to play them on vinyl when I was a sprout, Butch Walker, Gaslight Anthem, Elliott Smith, Belle & Sebastian, Tom Waits, Nirvana, Elvis Costello, Jeff Buckley, Eisley, My Morning Jacket, Brand New, Iron & Wine, lots of other stuff especially if it's mopey and self-loathing.

If we are what we eat, I'm composed mostly of Australian liquorice and flavor blasted Goldfish Crackers. Sad fact.
Six things I could never do without
I have more than six vital organs so I'm not really sure how to answer this question.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Escape. Living like a gypsy in an old Winnebago. How much I would love to be friends with a goat. Where I'm gonna go when I get a little scratch saved up (the Himalayas for sure--Nepal, Tibet, Bhutan). And politics, because a hard rain's gonna fall.
On a typical Friday night I am
Taking a long, long nap. Isn't that just going to bed? you must be wondering to yourself. No. Maybe. I suppose it could be construed as such.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
There are a few U2 songs I actually like.
Ugh. I just threw up in my mouth a little.
You should message me if
1. You have a fun and/or obscure fact to tell me. (Example: cats have free-floating clavicles so they can squeeze through anyplace they can fit their heads! This probably excludes obese cats for you smart mouths about to tell me I'm wrong.)

2. You saw pictures of my dog and you want to hang out with her. Which, yeah, I totally get.. she's the best.

3. You also knit. Or you want me to teach you how to knit. And you want to Knitflix and chill. (Oh my god I think I'm so funny.)

4. Or whatever. I can't tell you your business.
More
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