Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you win false friends and enemies.
The good you do will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
People really need help but may attack you if you help them.
Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
I hesitate to quote Mother Theresa in a personal ad, seems more appropriate for a church, hardly sexy, but I could come up with no better way to describe who I am and what my experiences in life have been thus far. I also don't want to so shamelessly describe myself as some sort of saint, as I do not see myself as such, so I'll add this simple truism: no action is completely unselfish. I do my best to do right because my conscience is brutal.
If you're looking for fun, funny, hot, sexy, outrageous, etc., there's plenty of that too, just skip to the piano porn.
I visit often, moving there as soon as opportunity presents itself.
2. For fun, and to learn something new, salsa, and since they offer it for free, other ballroom dance. I'm a recovering non-dancer - I only learned to walk a few decades ago, and you can't do the L-shape with your foot like you can with your hand, so still learning left foot from right, almost got it down. Would be doing so much better if I could practice. Can I borrow your body?
3. I joined the gym. I'm a recovering non-exerciser.
4. I'm a recovering non-reader. How embarrassing is that! I started with The Fountainhead, because I've heard it mentioned so many times. No comment. Or, more accurately, mixed comments. Ambivalent about Ayn Rand. Love her, hate her? Do please share your thoughts.
5. Learning a new dish a month. Or saying I am. Recovering non-cook. (Or saying I am.)
6. Actually being proactive about taking care of this, and not settling for less than what I want or deserve, as in any other area, ever. Ambitious, yes, but nothing less will do.
7. Expanding my radius. Central VA to NYC, including DC and Philly, while more all the time considering Austin, seems every musician should spend some chunk of his/her life there, and very vaguely LA or San Fran (not so much LA, San Fran more all the time.) Taking advantage of the recession-made down time while still getting by and therefore knowing that I can't complain, enjoying more me time, not getting bogged down by every penny-ante job and thinking more long-term. Seeking opportunity, both personally and professionally, nothing tying me down. I think they call it making lemonade.
I ALMOST want to say more importantly, (for most people, more importantly, and ultimately even for you, it's just not as fun an image), treating all people well, whether friends, lovers, strangers, even those I don't like. That means being respectful, considerate, thoughtful, and attentive. It's called being an adult. (Am I sounding cynical yet?)
But if you really need specifics, I suppose I can offer a few:
Food - tapas - not just the food, the eating style, it's more fun, social, and healthy. Sushi. Mexican. Not picky, like lots of stuff. A good steak. Maggot vomit (well, the last one, not so much.)
Movies - we'll talk about that, maybe easier to list favorite actors. If I'm watching with you, all that matters is that we have our hands all over each other, that can be during any, even the worst of movies.
Music - anything played by a musician. Just like I like my car fixed by an automotive technician, my taxes done by an accountant, and my food prepared by a chef, give me competence. Not even necessarily brilliance, just competence. Oh, how I've had to lower my standards. Also, at a volume that we can enjoy, and have a conversation over. Please, for the love of (God as you see him or whatever the hell you worship) don't drag me to a rock star wannabe that's playing so loud we have no choice but to not talk and give him/her all of our undeserved attention. I will NOT like you. Seriously. If you're really hot I might still ---- you, but I will definitely not like you. ("----", I thought this was obvious, is "phaw," as in "politely hang out with," get your mind out of the gutter.)
"Maslow's hierarchy of needs is often portrayed in the shape of a pyramid, with the largest and lowest levels of needs at the bottom, and the need for self-actualization at the top.
The lower four layers of the pyramid contain what Maslow called "deficiency needs" or "d-needs": esteem , friendship and love, security, and physical needs. With the exception of the lowest (physiological) needs, if these "deficiency needs" are not met, the body gives no physical indication but the individual feels anxious and tense.
'What a man can be, he must be.' This forms the basis of the perceived need for self-actualization. This level of need pertains to what a person's full potential is and realizing that potential. Maslow describes this desire as the desire to become more and more what one is, to become everything that one is capable of becoming. This is a broad definition of the need for self-actualization, but when applied to individuals the need is specific. For example one individual may have the strong desire to become an ideal parent, in another it may be expressed athletically, and in another it may be expressed in painting, pictures, or inventions. As mentioned before, in order to reach a clear understanding of this level of need one must first not only achieve the previous needs, physiological, safety, love, and esteem, but master these needs. Below are Maslow’s descriptions of a self-actualized person’s different needs and personality traits.
Maslow also states that even though these are examples of how the quest for knowledge is separate from basic needs he warns that these “two hierarchies are interrelated rather than sharply separated” (Maslow 97). This means that this level of need, as well as the next and highest level, are not strict, separate levels but closely related to others, and this is possibly the reason that these two levels of need are left out of most textbooks.
All humans have a need to be respected and to have self-esteem and self-respect. Also known as the belonging need, esteem presents the normal human desire to be accepted and valued by others. People need to engage themselves to gain recognition and have an activity or activities that give the person a sense of contribution, to feel accepted and self-valued, be it in a profession or hobby. Imbalances at this level can result in low self-esteem or an inferiority complex. People with low self-esteem need respect from others. They may seek fame or glory, which again depends on others. Note, however, that many people with low self-esteem will not be able to improve their view of themselves simply by receiving fame, respect, and glory externally, but must first accept themselves internally. Psychological imbalances such as depression can also prevent one from obtaining self-esteem on both levels.
Most people have a need for a stable self-respect and self-esteem. Maslow noted two versions of esteem needs, a lower one and a higher one. The lower one is the need for the respect of others, the need for status, recognition, fame, prestige, and attention. The higher one is the need for self-respect, the need for strength, competence, mastery, self-confidence, independence and freedom. The latter one ranks higher because it rests more on inner competence won through experience. Deprivation of these needs can lead to an inferiority complex, weakness and helplessness.
3. Love and belonging
After physiological and safety needs are fulfilled, the third layer of human needs are social and involve feelings of belongingness. This aspect of Maslow's hierarchy involves emotionally based relationships in general, such as:
Humans need to feel a sense of belonging and acceptance, whether it comes from a large social group, such as clubs, office culture, religious groups, professional organizations, sports teams, gangs, or small social connections (family members, intimate partners, mentors, close colleagues, confidants). They need to love and be loved (sexually and non-sexually) by others. In the absence of these elements, many people become susceptible to loneliness, social anxiety, and clinical depression. This need for belonging can often overcome the physiological and security needs, depending on the strength of the peer pressure; an anorexic, for example, may ignore the need to eat and the security of health for a feeling of control and belonging.
4. Safety needs
With their physical needs relatively satisfied, the individual's safety needs take precedence and dominate behavior. These needs have to do with people's yearning for a predictable orderly world in which perceived unfairness and inconsistency are under control, the familiar frequent and the unfamiliar rare. In the world of work, these safety needs manifest themselves in such things as a preference for job security, grievance procedures for protecting the individual from unilateral authority, savings accounts, insurance policies, reasonable disability accommodations, and the like.
Safety and Security needs include:
Health and well-being
Safety net against accidents/illness and their adverse impacts
5. Physiological needs
For the most part, physiological needs are obvious—they are the literal requirements for human survival. If these requirements are not met (with the exception of clothing, shelter, and sexual activity), the human body simply cannot continue to function.
Physiological needs include:
Air, water, and food are metabolic requirements for survival in all animals, including humans. Clothing and shelter provide necessary protection from the elements. The intensity of the human sexual instinct is shaped more by sexual competition than maintaining a birth rate adequate to survival of the species."
And since I'm a piano player, sixth would be my fingers. (And ear and brain. And $.)
I also have great appreciation for correct grammar and spelling and would appreciate it, and won't be offended, if you found any errors here, if you'd call them to my attentian. Few things turn me on as much as a girl who can spell "definitely." You've been warned.
I'm an MD and a retired brain surgeon.
I greet Jehovah's Witnesses in my underwear.
I wear my socks to bed - my feet hang over and I like to keep them warm - so if you want to see me completely naked you'll have to shower with me.
The first questions I check when checking you out against me are the sex questions (I know, I'm such a guy, come on, they're fun) and I've noticed that so many of you answer the same three and only three, wonder why that is, they are: 1. Have you ever had a sexual encounter with someone of the same sex? 2. Would you need to sleep with someone before you considered marrying them? and 3. Is contraception morally wrong? The first might be mildly interesting at best, but of ultimately no use to me, unless I'm invited, the other two completely boring, with (I hope) the same answers from everyone (although one of my favorite relationships, ironically, and including physically, was with a virgin saving that for marriage, there are exceptions to every rule. Maybe not for contraception being wrong, can't find an exception to that rule, how could it possibly be?)
Questions about ethics are next, sometimes first, and actually ultimately more important, that's usually all I need to know.
Find the lie and the first round's on me.
(Disclaimer: I know the following is so totally unsexy, but it's absolutely necessary.) If you're a good person with solid character and her heart in the right place and are looking for the same. Sounds boring, but it's actually really important. Fun ends up being no fun if it introduces me to drama-crazy succubus she-monsters. Been there, done that. Too many times. I'll use my hands, thank you. (They ARE good.)
If you want to meet an interesting man. Don't expect an act when you first meet me. Recently my profile read that my friends say I'm the most outrageous person they've ever met. My last girlfriend kept wondering about that early on, but later she was saying, "My God, you are the most outrageous person I've ever met."
If you want to have fun without any drama.
If you're interested in piano porn.
If you like the idea of a study date.
On the off chance that you are or may be "the one." (But meanwhile, even if you're not.)