42 Longwood, United States
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My self-summary
7/3/16 - Remember the scene in American Beauty where he tells the pretty girl how boring and ordinary she is. Yeah..
Angela Hayes: "Yeah? Well, at least I'm not ugly!"
Ricky Fitts: "Yes, you are. And you're boring, and you're totally ordinary, and you know it."

6/12/16 - I guess I have to put this out there now. If we match, and start talking to each other, I'm going to ask you out on a date fairly quickly. Some caveats I need to add:

1) I'm only going to ask you 3 times to meet and get a drink or something along those lines. If you have no inclination to even try to meet me, please don't waste my time. Please just tell me you're not interested. It makes me feel uncomfortable when I send a text asking if you'd like to get a drink with me some time soon and you don't respond. I'm not chasing any woman. You NEED to show a mutual interest in me too.
2) Ⅰ know text messaging has no sense of urgency associated with it. I send you a text and you can't get back to me till later that day or the next. I understand it. But if I'm sending you texts asking you if you'd like to get a drink this week, I don't think it's unreasonable to expect a response with 24 hours. This has already happened enough times that I feel the need to include it in my profile. Again, this is a mutual interest thing. If I text you one day and get nothing and then the next and still get no response, that shows me you're not interested in me in the slightest. If you text me, I will text you as soon as I'm able to. Of course there's many times I'm at work at can't respond quickly, but if I like you, I'm going to show you I'm interested by texting you back. And it's cool if you're not interested in me. It really is. You can't force someone to like you. And I'm not gonna waste my energy on that. I just wish you'd girls would figure out what you want. Because in the meantime, I'm feeling humiliated that I'm texting a girl that isn't texting back.
3) Let me repeat this again. GUYS WANT TO BE DESIRED TOO. SHOW ME YOU LIKE ME BY TRYING TO HANG OUT WITH ME. I can't get to know you through texts. Just as you girls like to be desired, guys love it too. So stop playing the games or, if you're just not full of desire for a guy who has asked you out on date, you need to ask yourself, why you went on the date. Stop wasting your time. Or maybe you're just holding back because you're holding out hope that some dream guy will text you back. I don't know what it is, but it's become a problem. Figure out what you want and then start pursuing dates.

Ok, I think I'm done. Now text me back.

4/5/16 - I'm just looking for someone to show a desire for me and like me for who I am and be nice. No violence, no drugs, no smoking, no kids. That's all I ask for. I know someone's out there for me.


I'm a good man who loves the idea of love. Being an artist, I live for passion in my life. I am very self-aware of my feelings and I know what makes me happy and what I want. I don't hide my emotions and I try to live a very open life with my friends. I think we could learn a lot from each other if we were just more open with how we feel.

I'm logical and rational and a walking contradiction of myself.

I'm an Orlando native.

I used to play guitar and sing with some Death Metal bands in Orlando. One day, I hope to set up my studio again. Then I can start writing and recording the music that is in me.

I love tattoos and piercings, especially on girls. There is nothing hotter than a girl with a sleeve. I've got 7 piercings including a 0 gauge Prince Albert, a forearm sleeve, and a few other tattoos.

I have an awesome cat that loves attention and his name is Dalí. He'll pat you on the arm with his paw to pet him and sit up like a meercat and wave at you.

I'm incredibly shy at first with new people I meet but I'm not a complete social loser. Just give me time to adjust.

I'm a man of great character and very genuine. I'm not a cheat and I do not take advantage of others. If you think it's cool to be an asshole, ignorant, stupid, or take advantage of people...I don't care to talk to you. I have no criminal record and have never been to jail, so I hope you haven't either.

I'm not a drunk. Don't get me wrong...I like a good beer when I go out but I don't feel the need to lose control so I can have fun.

I don't smoke or do drugs. I just don't have an addictive personality when it comes to those things. But I do think it's disgusting and very weak. Don't even bother if you think those are cool.

I have no illegitimate children running around, but love kids and I'm a kid at heart. But if you have a kid/s, I would rather not date you. Long story short, I've been hurt too many times by women with children. With that said, I would love to have my own children with a wonderful, caring woman at some point in my future. I can be and am an incredible father.

I hate sports. I'm not a competitive person and if you want to bore the fuck out of me, just talk about sports.

It's amazing how few girls I have in the 80% and up range and how many I have at 50% and below. I realize I think differently and that's good. I like being different. I know there are other girls who think like I do. You're just few and far between. So if you see that we have a high match, look at my questions and see if you agree.

I was a vegetarian for 6 years, but in 2011, Ⅰ decided to try to eat some meat here and there.

I like a good beer but I don't drink to excess. In fact, I would be willing to give it up for a good girl.

I'm very playful and really fun to be around. I don't take things too seriously and love to laugh a lot. I would love to meet a girl who despises religion, doesn't smoke, is super intelligent and nerdy and oh into me and wants me. Please prove to me you exist because I'm really starting to believe you don't! I need a girl who loves men! I do take care of myself and I don't want to hear how all feet are gross or penises are ugly or you don't like touching me. It shows me you're not into me. I'm far from high maintenance and needy, but if there's one thing I need from a girlfriend, it's to know that I'm attractive to her. There's very few of you girls who actually pique my interest. I don't message every woman on here hoping I get a response back like a lot of men do on here and just play the numbers game. If I message you, it means I have a genuine interest in you. It also means I feel we have a lot in common. If you give me a chance, you won't be disappointed. So let's meet over coffee some time!
What I’m doing with my life
I'm constantly learning. I no longer work at the coffee shop. I've had my own business painting pool decks for 18 years. Finally done with that. I'm now a butcher out in Winter Garden at the Plant Street Market and on my days off, I go to Valencia College trying to pursue an AS in Computer Information Technology. If you're ever out in Plant Street Market, say hi to me! I've always had at least one job and have never been jobless. I work extremely hard.
I’m really good at
Reading people. And remembering inane things. And working extremely fucking hard. And saying "fuck" a lot. Also, I radiate heat. I'm like the torch from Fantastic 4.
The first things people usually notice about me
My eyes and facial hair and that I'm not like them. I've been told by people that I have a really genuine, lovable laugh.

I'm not holding a fucking fish....without a shirt on.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
* Neomortem
* Abyss
* Behemoth
* Belphegor
* Cannibal Corpse
* Cradle of Filth
* Death
* Decapitated
* Deicide
* Dimmu Borgir
* Vader
* Feist
* Foo Fighters
* Gojira
* Godflesh
* Kataklysm
* Marilyn Manson
* Morbid Angel
* The Haunted
* Emperor
* She Wants Revenge
* Suffocation
* Meathook Seed
* Nile
* Old Man's Child
* Orbital
* Regina Spector
* Satyricon
* Tori Amos
* Altar Of Plagues

* Fight Club
* Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
* Unbreakable
* Stardust
* 300
* Private Parts
* Office Space
* The Hulk
* Mallrats
* Little Miss Sunshine
* Lord of the Rings trilogy
* Star Wars trilogies
* Batman(Nolan) trilogy
* Spider-Man
* Man Of Steel
* Silver Linings Playbook
* American Hustle
* Gaurdians Of The Galaxy
* Interstellar
* Garden State
* Her
* Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox
* The Witch

* Smallville
* Supernatural
* 24
* Family Guy
* American Dad
* Breaking Bad
* Fringe
* Lie To Me
* The Daily Show
* Attack Of The Show
* Buffy
* Angel
* Battlestar Galactica
* The Walking Dead
* IT Crowd
* Peep Show
* Last Week Tonight with John Oliver
* The League
* The Strain
* Agents Of Shield
* Man Seeking Woman
* 12 Monkeys
* Outcast

* Neil Gaiman
* Cormac McCarthy
* Richard Matheson
* Philip K Dick
* J K Rowling
* Aleister Crowley
* Guillermo Del Toro

* Batman: Arkham Asylum
* Batman: Arkham City
* Bioshock 1 & 2
* Dead Space
* Dante's Inferno
* Brutal Legend
* Little Big Planet
The six things I could never do without
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How to change the past...and the multiverses all around us. And the inevitable singularity. And why 99% of the girls on here say they love being outside. Being outside=boring. At least to me. I mean, I like to go to the nude beach with friends when I can or go fishing over at the Jetty Park pier. But, otherwise, it's just too damn hot outside. Especially when you've worked outside for the past 18 years.

"Never lose your sense of outrage!"
- Bernie Sanders
On a typical Friday night I am
Doing whatever the fuck I want to do.

What does it take to get a date around here?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Nothing is private in my life. I have no fear with being who I am. I'm an open book. Oh...and I have a 0 gauge ring in my penis called a Prince Albert. If you're curious with what that is, check out my Fetlife page.

Fetlife-malfador666 (NSFW)
You should message me if
If you don't smoke, don't do drugs, not a drunk/party girl and have a distaste for religion as much as me. Extra points if you have a sleeve and some piercings. ;-) Also, if you're a Battlestar Galactica fan.

To take a quote from someone I admire, "I am for miscreants, outlaws, outside thinkers, terrorizers, agitators, wild dreamers, mad creators, and those completely pure in spirit. Burn the rest!"

I am the epitome of socialists. I believe in free healthcare, free higher education, human rights, civil rights, workers' rights and unions, taxing the wealthy heavily, fines and judicial sentences based on a percentage of income and power, water and electricity and Internet should be regulated by government and not by corporations to gain a profit, we should have a president who will build a "superhighway" for our internet like FDR did for the interstate highway system, push for solar power everywhere, the complete obsolescence of the combustion engine and fossil fuels, a minimum living wage that appropriates from the exorbitant CEO pay and a maximum wage for CEOs based on a percentage of their lowest wage employee. I am very anti-authoritarian. You don't have to agree with me on everything here and I'm sure I'll add more later. Just know that this is how I think.

If you have a sense of humor and can make me laugh. You get "it" with humor and like to joke around a lot. I love it when a girl knows how to be funny!

There are a few things I have no tolerance for. If you think it's ok to hit your partner (even a smack!) because they upset you somehow, don't bother with me. Violence will never be tolerated in my relationships! If you think it's ok to hit or spank children, I definitely don't want to talk to you. If you're homophobic or racist, fuck off. I will have no tolerance for your addictions and I want nothing to do with them.

Also, you can not have kids, not be obese(most of my girlfriends have been curvy and I have no objection to that and I'm far from perfect), and most importantly, not be an asshole. I am none of those.

You must be:

I am all of those.
I just want a cool, nice girl to share my life with.

Plus, if you ever wanted to go the nude beach, my friends (guys and girls) and I are always looking for fun people to go with.