Giving amazing birthday presents
Knocking over entire breakfast setups at job interviews
One of those things is a lie.
Watch: Arrested Development, Archer, Futurama
Listen: I'm a huge fan of shitty pop punk. Sorry.
Food: I'll eat most things that don't swim or crawl underwater. I'm the worst asian ever.
My Futurama beer cozies
Wine in a box/bag
You want to hang out and be sarcastic with me.
If you're a normal enough person and want to say hi. I'll also accept "whattup" "wassup" or just "sup".