I’ve been uplinked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech lowlife, a state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker, and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond.
I’m new wave, but I’m old school, and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat-seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice-activated and biodegradable. I interface with my database, and my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive, and from time to time, I’m radioactive.
Behind the 8-ball, ahead of the curve, riding the wave, dodging the bullet, pushing the envelope. I’m on point, on task, on message, and off drugs. I got no need for coke and speed. I have no urge to binge and purge. I’m in the moment, on the edge, over the top, but under the radar. A high-concept, low-profile, medium-range ballistics missionary. A street-wise smart bomb, a top-gun bottom-feeder.
I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps, I run victory laps. I’m a totally ongoing bigfoot slam dunk rainmaker with a proactive outreach. A raging workaholic, a working rageaholic, out of rehab and in denial. I got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant, and a personal agenda. You can’t shut me up, you can’t dumb me down, ’cause I’m tireless, and I’m wireless. I’m an alpha male on beta blockers.
I’m a non-believer and an overachiever, laid back, but fashion forward, up front, down home, low rent, high maintenance; super size, long lasting, high definition, fast acting, oven ready, and built to last. I’m a hands-on, footloose, kneejerk head case, prematurely post-traumatic, and I have a love child who sends me hate mail.
But I’m feeling, I’m caring, I’m healing, I’m sharing, a supportive, bonding, nurturing, primary caregiver. My output is down, but my income is up. I take a short position on a long bond, and my revenue stream has its own cash flow. I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds, I watch trash sports. I’m gender specific, capital intensive, user friendly, and lactose intolerant.
I like rough sex, I like tough love, I use the F-word in my e-mails, and the software on my hard drive is hardcore, no soft porn. I bought a microwave at a mini-mall, I bought a minivan at a megastore, I eat fast food in the slow lane. I’m toll free, bite size, ready to wear, and I come in all sizes. A fully equipped, factory authorized, hospital tested, clinically proven, scientifically formulated medical miracle.
I’ve been prewashed, precooked, preheated, prescreened, preapproved, postdated, freeze dried, double wrapped, vacuum packed, and I have an unlimited broadband capacity. I’m a rude dude, but I’m the real deal, lean and mean, cocked, locked, and ready to rock; rough, tough, and hard to bluff. I take it slow, I go with the flow, I ride with the tide, I got glide in my stride. Drivin’ and movin’, sailin’ and spinin’, jivin’ and groovin’, wailin’ and winnin’. I don’t snooze, so I don’t lose. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hardy, and lunch time is crunch time. I’m hangin’ in, there ain’t no doubt, and I’m hangin’ tough, over and out.
I'm good at listening, writing and making playlists.
I'm also good at staying in and watching rockumentaries.
I'm pretty, pretty good at respecting wood.
Flicks: Fight Club, WarGames, Garden State, Lost in Translation, Dracula, Edward Scissorhands, Interview with the Vampire, Donnie Darko, Airplane, American Psycho, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Star Wars, Goodfellas, The Breakfast Club, Billy Madison, Requiem for a Dream, Flash Gordon, The Lawnmower Man, Pump Up the Volume, The Mothman Prophecies, 9 1/2 Weeks, Lost Boys, Anchorman, 500 Days of Summer, Clockwork Orange, Barbarella, Alfie, High Fidelity, Empire Records, Mallrats, The Game, Heathers, Reality Bites
Small Screen: The Daily Show, Mad Men, Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Workaholics, Archer, Tosh.0, Monday Night Football, The Office, House, Family Guy, South Park, Chapelle's Show, CSI, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Sealab 2021, Robot Chicken, SportsCenter
Tunes: Radiohead, The Knife, Muse, Fever Ray, The Chemical Brothers, Massive Attack, Portishead, Royksopp, SBTRKT, Empire of the Sun, Depeche Mode, The Smiths, Morrissey, The Cure, New Order, LCD Soundsystem, Hot Chip, Cut Copy, Explosions In The Sky, The Flaming Lips, Nirvana, Alice In Chains, A Tribe Called Quest, Outkast, on and on and on....
Grub: Anything I don't have to make myself. I am not a good cook.
Music and concerts
My comfy bed
The snooze button
Any concerts this week?
Were there aliens in ancient Egypt?
I should probably call my mom.
Why am I still up?
Why is this song in my head?
I need a vacation.
or my house relaxing and watching a movie.
You take care of your body as well as your mind.
You can do Sudoku and shoot tequila.
You love John Hughes and Stanley Kubrick.
You can play Paranoid Android on guitar.