30 Brooklyn, United States
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My self-summary
New York City Native. Music Industry. Part Hipster. Part Bro. Neurotic Jew. Chicken Tenders. Black Tees. Dive Bars. Bourbon. Air Guitar. Landboat. NY Rangers. Hot Tubs. Movie Theater Popcorn. Trivia. Day Drinking. Movie Quotes. New Restaurants.
What I’m doing with my life
In a lab with a pen and pad trying to get this damn label off
I’m really good at
Microsoft Paint
The first things people usually notice about me
If everyone needs a crutch then I need a wheelchair
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Don Draper
Jesse Lacey
Dennis Reynolds
George Costanza
Jack Donaghy
Jack Daniels
Katy Perry
Barney Stinson
Matt Skiba
GOB Bluth
Larry David
Chris Conley
Marty McFly
Elliot Stabler
Jim Beam
Dan Andriano
Philip J. Fry
Stimpson J. Cat
Alvy Singer
Eric Cartman
Johnnie Walker Black
Max Bemis
Louie C.K.
Phil Connors
Ron Burgundy
Giorgio A. Tsoukalos
Pee-Wee Herman
Patrick Bateman
Pepe Silvia
Jimmy Page
The six things I could never do without
Other people's misfortune. Alcohol. Netflix and chill. Oxygen. A Guitar. Contrived internet dating site questionnaires.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
- Where homeless people get batteries from
- How Fred Durst came up with the lyrics to Nookie
- What sesame seeds grow into
- If anyone has ever seen a full size Mr. Goodbar
-If Jimmy cracked corn and nobody cares, why does he keep doing it
- Why The Others wanted Walt so badly
- Why I've never seen a baby pigeon
- The zombie apocalypse
- Why all artificially flavored strawberry candy tastes the same, but none of it actually taste like strawberry
- Underwater tunnels
- who would steal 30 bag lunches?
- What bark of a tree is made of
- Plastic in the ocean
On a typical Friday night I am
Shredding a tidal wave of whiskey on a surfboard made of don't care. That or home taking it easy...
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
That I kind of really want a vespa or that I may or may not still wear my retainer at night.

I believe every single conspiracy theory.
You should message me if
you want to grab a beer or six