40Columbus, United States
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My self-summary
Cross-bred between a golden retriever and a step-ladder seems to be a self-summary that makes my friends laugh. It's not so much that I'm an odd duck, as it is that at 6'6, there's a certain point past which I just accept that I'll never exactly fit in. Which is ok. And I'm not exactly everyone's cup of ginseng peppermint or darjeeling. And that's really ok too. Apparently I was enough for charitycarpenter to marry me though, and yes, she's on here too. (And no, you won't be able to help her convince me that we should get a monkey or goats.)

My best "possessions" aren't actually things I can own, but are my friends, my memories and my creativity. I like making, creating and designing things, whether it be mix CDs, necklaces, flyers or other somesuch. I like people who care about community and inter-personal interaction. Not a big fan of those interested in living the cliche, whichever that might be. I judge people (yes, you do too) much more based on actions and how they live their lives, as opposed to creeds and things they say. I value people who can balance their heads & their hearts.

As for the rest, read the stuff below - I found it easier to answer, and probably more informative. And there's also the pictures. Which somewhat accurately represent a decent cross-section of me. ...I hope.

I am somewhat unorthodox, curious what's here, and tall
What I’m doing with my life
Working to pay bills and keep myself in a lifestyle I enjoy. Volunteering to feel like I’m not completely just sitting back and watching the world burn. Attempting to act on the dictum that “the meaning of life, is to give life meaning.” Trying to live a life with some balance of introspection & mindfulness, juxtaposed with friends and still living in this world. Searching for spaces and communities that are tolerant, open, welcoming, progressive, walk their talk, and that actually value their members.
I’m really good at
listening and giving counsel, or so I'm told; making mix CDs; cooking (with fresh produce, real ingredients & a stove or oven instead of a microwave); backrubs; finding ways to have fun that don't involve going to places like Easton or sports bars; road trips; hospitality; commity; organizing; giving a fuck, sometimes even when it isn't my turn to give a fuck; volunteering without having to be the alpha dog or the person whose face ends up on the t-shirt; pulling useless nuggets of history and ephemera outta the ether for amusement and entertainment; watergun fights
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm tall. And they tell me. Often. Because it might've escaped my notice, somehow... Or the eyes, if they get past the whole tall thing. My partner tells me I have a nice ass.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
a) Embers by Sandor Marai, Napoleon of Notting Hill & The Man Who Was Thursday by G.K. Chesterton, just about anything by Neil Gaiman (hence where I stole the "mdcarabas" from), Hells Angels by Hunter S. Thompson, Down & Out in Paris & London by Orwell, Cash by Johnny Cash And a note on books - generally, I find it encouraging that people read. However, if you read the Twilight series, and are so into it that you cannot stand anyone who makes light of it, or think they're personally attacking you by viewing it humorously? We won't get along. Also reminded of this after having seen The Bling Ring; love The Secret? Please move along. Same goes for Ayn Rand devotees. Yes, the personal philosophies of either of those give me the hinks.

b) Clerks, Shawshank Redemption, M by Fritz Lang, things likely to be shown at the Gateway, like Bubba Ho Tep, Big Lewbowski, Very Long Engagement, Moonlight, Your Friends & Neighbors, some of the classics like North by Northwest, High Noon, Casablanca or Monty Python... As for TV: Northern Exposure, Firefly, Buffy, ST:TNG, Rome, Boardwalk Empire, BSG, Bab5, BBC's Coupling, Blackadder, Doctor Who, Daria, any reality series PBS hosted that ended with the suffix "House" (1900 House, Colonial House, Manor House - about the only reality tv I can stand), Gilmore Girls (I miss the banter and the writing, but not the reboot, eyee), My So-Called Life (I'm a child of the '90s, and you can't tell me it wasn't good tv), Downton Abbey, Indian Summers, The Wire (just as much because it reminds me a little bit of home, as because I probably fall into that category of white people who love it), currently enjoying Preacher, Underground, and The Expanse

c)this, I can nanter on for days. Suffice to say anything that involves some artistic talent and endeavour - none of the new pap that's killed hip-hop, or ruined country from the likes of Johnny Cash. Make me a mix CD, and we'll see.

d) Vegetarian (just personally, could really care less about that cheeseburger you had last week...), Indian, good Asian (Thai, Japanese, stuff that doesn't automatically taste like leftovers), good Mediteranian (both European & Middle Eastern). I like to cook, so any good recipe-gazpacho in summer, vegetarian shepherd's pie in winter and sweet potato quesadilas anytime.

e) podcasts - The Moth (I really do love a good story & if you were to see me pause while doing dishes, that show'd be why sometimes), This American Life, Slate Spoiler Specials (which I occasionally listen to precisely because I'll never see a specific movie in a theater), New Yorker Comment, Dan Savage (it was weird at first after reading him in free papers for years to hear his voice; I don't always agree on everything, but would love the lady who does the intro to call me up & read me a bedtime story), Sex Nerd Sandra (who I'm finding I enjoy more than Dan, in part because many things aren't centered around a listener's problems, which can sometimes have a cumulative negative listening effect, and in part because I appreciate how she brings a sense of playful curiosity and not-trying-to-be-perfect fallible humanity to her topics), and my new enjoyment is Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men.
Six things I could never do without
my friends, experience, a good story (everyone has a least one that's either theirs or that they cling to), a moral compass, a variety of good music, the wonder and knowledge that it's all worth it...
I spend a lot of time thinking about

Lots of different things, actually. Social justice, aesthetics, consent, why all the good art museums in Ohio are in places other than Columbus, my friends and how they're doing, music, how different colors or styles look on different things and people, my hometown, current events, the sagacious wisdom of Bill Hicks or Patton Oswalt, Wheaton's Law.

What's going on in America right now, and where we're going to be in 2020. How bad things are going to get for people who aren't white. How come people who grew up in the same country as me, who learned the same history as me, who watched the same WWII movies as me, aren't at least a little more mildly concerned about a man who seriously put forth registering people based on their religion.

What I would say if Ira Glass ever were to interview me. On anything. Some people think about what they'd do if they were on Jeopardy. And I'm already pretty sure what I'd tell if I ever got on The Moth.

Whether it would ultimately be bad or good if they stopped making comic book movies. Oh sure, you liked Iron Man, Batman Begins & the Avengers. But both Fantastic Four flicks, Daredevil, Ghost Rider, Superman Returns, the third Tobey McGuire (aka swing-dancing, emo, domestic violence) Spider-Man?

How much time we seem to collectively spend in online communities in our larger culture, compared to real life or real time communities. Especially juxtaposed with how many people seem to feel lonely or disconnected in our larger culture.

How beyond being old, trite & played out; sarcasm or bad attempts at irony seem to come across as poorly feigned defense mechanisms. Or like the individual who regularly uses left-handed compliments, a thin veil for hostility, asshole-ishness or generally anti-social behavior.

That I now live in a state that's vying with Texas and Virginia for how much it wants to be craptastic towards women, especially on the reproductive rights front. Which if that's something you're happy for, is a steep detriment.

I also wonder if those who champion nerd culture realize we're probably being done much more disservice & harm by a white ethno-centrism & especially misogyny, than the external popularization some of us seem to love to decry. And just how much bullshit these "litmus tests" that I keep hearing about from our sister nerds are. I was in high school in the early 90s, when mostly nobody read comic books or watched scifi. I remember when we were a minority. You wouldn't have been so quick to push someone away then. Oh and if your biggest concern when seeing a movie is that Heimdall or Johnny Storm might be played by a good black actor; instead of how good the writing, plot, character development and overall acting are? Move along. In now decades of comic book movies, there's been ONE minor franchise that featured a black main lead. Blade. That's it.
On a typical Friday night I am
It varies - going out with friends here, visiting friends out of town, having friends from out of town coming to stay with me, watching a movie, eating out, hanging out, staying in.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Klatu, Verata, Nicktu

I find myself questioning the effectiveness of overall white liberalism. While meaning well, liking causes on facebook, listening to NPR and putting bumper stickers on your car are fine; I'm not sure how much they're actually improving the world. I wonder if we've forgotten the ends, by getting wrapped up in the means. I question exclusiveness as opposed to inclusiveness by those who claim to promote tolerance and diversity. I find the lack of recognition of how socio-economics plays into things disturbing, especially in relation to racial problems. Having a degree in marketing, I've come to realize that no matter how great our message is (and I'm sorry, but like 2016 showed us, it really could be better, and no, being "not-Trump" is not messaging - the Libertarians are also not-Trump), more often than not we seem really bad at communicating it. I worry about feminism having no interest in intersectionality and turning into what I've seen dubbed as "whitefeminism." I wonder at people I see who have hours to spend arguing on social media, but not five minutes to call their Representative or Senator about an issue that will affect lives. And I wonder at times if my generation and the "millennials" will end up exactly like the baby-boomers, living out in the exurbs, shopping at big box stores and still "championing causes" in a couple decades. This does not, however, mean that I'm about to give up and start smoking the Fox News crackpipe. Really not a fan of politics or social issues in general as binary.

How come the relationship options on the not-fully-poly side are "mostly" or "strictly" monogamous? Like maybe "monoga-mish?" How come compersion isn't in the dictionary.

I'm a Unitarian Universalist who has a slight allergy to committees. "Let's go get something done" is strangely not synonymous with them in my experience. I've also seen some magnificent autocrats & heavy-handed players benefit from consensus processes.

I also worry that Neil Gaiman may've moved past his literary nadir at times.
You should message me if
You feel like it? I mean, let's be honest, that's the real reason you should message anyone. People who like conversations about philosophy, spirituality, the spaces between the notes, and something more than just the temporary are preferred. As are those who like trading backrubs. Bonus points if you're also not from the Midwest, or can at least appreciate someone who is, and still occasionally finds some things here ...different. Charitycarpenter and I are monogamish/somewhat open, but not necessarily looking for hook-up/one night stand kinda things. More like people we'd become friends with first, and possibly see where things go from there. (This caveat is meant individually. While doing more with us both together is not impossible, it would involve you clicking with two people.) So those who are respectful of all that are appreciated.

Not really big on your garden variety of intolerances; such as those who believe things like people are poor because they deserve to be; there's no more racism because Obama was President or you know a black person who's better off than you are; those into very rigid gender roles (I have no problem getting my hands dirty or say trapping & releasing a spider, but I also find cooking (not grilling, actual cooking) and making necklaces to be relaxing). Not a huge fan of performative masculinity either, especially when it turns toxic.

...or if you know who said Klatu, Verata, Nicktu.

And please, if you're a Trump supporter who's somehow gotten this far, please move on.
The two of us