31 Los Angeles, United States
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My self-summary
I love Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, my dog: Stevie Nicks, and Trojan football. Anything else I'm willing to bend on.

For a long time, my dentist told me I was born without wisdom teeth. This was really exciting for me for two reasons: (a) I didn't have to get my wisdom teeth removed in an extremely painful procedure, and (b) I was more evolved than 95% of the population. I recently learned that I do have one wisdom tooth.

I love water sports, but am a horrible swimmer so you'll have to keep an eye on me.

Cold ketchup tastes better than room temperature.

I invented Easy Mac.

If I could spend all day watching the History and Discovery channels. I would. I love to learn, but I'm not a school person. Shark Week is the best week of television.

I love fruitcake.

Original Lifetime or ABC Family movies are hilarious. I'll go onto say that I love things that are "brilliantly bad".
What I’m doing with my life
I'm a behavior analyst. Don't worry, I don't know what it means either, but I love it.
I’m really good at
Words with Friends. I'm not so good at walking in a straight line.
The first things people usually notice about me
I'd like to tell you that it's my eyes, but I've got a booty that stops traffic.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Twilight. No, I'm totally kidding. Wouldn't it be ridiculous if I was like that?

Movies: Airplane, Zoolander, Out Cold, The Royal Tennenbaums, Chicago, Silence of the Lambs, Last of the Mohicans, Secretary, Blazing Saddles.

TV: Shark Week, Top Shot, Friends, Happy Endings (most underrated show on TV), How I Met Your Mother, The League, Archer, The Big Bang Theory.

Music: Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, Fleetwood Mac, Counting Crows, Salt 'n Peppa, Boyz II Men, Queen, Gin Blossoms, Sublime, Traveling Wilburys, Rolling Stones.

Food: Trader Joe's Mac&Cheese
The six things I could never do without
My dog. She's it for me.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Thermoses. Fire. Thermoses on fire.
On a typical Friday night I am
Chillin' with my homies. Hot tubbing. Singing karaoke. Playing Cards Against Humanity. Going on a metro adventure.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I couldn't tell time until I was twelve.
You should message me if
You're down.

And if you think this is funny: