Update: I've been on this website for about two years now, and aside from a fling with someone I met here (which, while important and meaningful to me, did not become a full-fledged relationship), I have been on a lot of one-off dates that didn't go anywhere. I enjoyed many of them - I like meeting new people and learning about their lives and interests - but at the same time, I have been feeling unfulfilled. I contemplated simply deleting this profile, but decided instead to try and complete it in a new way, with as earnest and direct an approach as I feel capable of.
I try to live my life according to a set of core values. These include: the value of honesty, the importance of sincerity, the transformative power of truth, the quest for wisdom, the necessity of healthy debate, and, perhaps above all, a constant striving towards empathy. Gosh, that sounds obnoxious. The truth is that, like most others, I often find myself giving in to jealousy, self-interest, rivalry, and laziness, although I fight to overcome these impulses.
I think that there are many positive attributes to myself and my personality, and probably some negative ones as well. I've struggled over the years with anxiety and depression, and while my mood goes up and down, I'm managing to get by. This isn't to suggest that I'm a downer or difficult to be around - there are a lot of things I enjoy (music, good food, interesting people, getting out and seeing the city).
I consider myself a creative person with a strong imagination, a capacity for deep thought, and a lot of curiosity. I love learning new things or hearing perspectives that are different from my own. In certain situations or with people who, for whatever reason, I feel comfortable, I can be very outgoing. Other times, I'm shy and quiet - it all depends.
I play ukulele, although I am nowhere near a professional musician, nor do I have aspirations to be one. It's simply for fun. I have two soundclouds. The first consists mostly of ukulele covers. The second one has original songs (intended primarily to be comedic):
I take 3D photographs with a vintage camera, although to be honest, it's been a while since I've actively done much photography.
I just wrote a rhyming erotic alphabet book in collaboration with my sister, who is a painter and illustrator. I also write limericks, and if you want one, just say so and I will be happy to send one along.
I see a lot of concerts, movies, and plays - culture and the arts are very important to me. Sometimes, I use them as an excuse to avoid more traditional 20-something social interaction (i.e. bars).
Movies: Yellow Submarine, The Point, The Big Lebowski, Barton Fink, basically anything else by the Coen brothers, Santa Sangre, The Lair of the White Worm, City of Lost Children, Arsenic and Old Lace, The Squid and the Whale, classic Universal horror movies, serious British drama, Shakespeare adaptations, anything by Peter Greenaway (esp. The Baby of Macon), anything by Russ Meyer, anything by John Waters, crazy Japanese horror films, animation shorts, lots more
Shows: Larry Sanders, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Six Feet Under, Mad Men, Dr. Who, 30 Rock, Community, Parks & Recreation, Rescue Me, The Muppet Show, and tons of British comedies (Mighty Boosh, Father Ted, Blackadder, Peepshow, and so on)
Music: They Might Be Giants, Talking Heads, Blondie, Patti Smith, Joe Jackson, Graham Parker, Elvis Costello, Ian Dury, Madness, Warren Zevon, B-52's, Devo, Ramones, Rezillos, The Stranglers, Richard Thompson, Apples In Stereo, Belle and Sebastian, Sharon Jones, Nellie McKay, George Formby, Cole Porter, Irving Berlin, Ella Fitzgerald, Gilbert and Sullivan, Tom Waits, Lou Reed, Television, Jonathan Richman, New Radicals, Squeeze, The Cars, Human League, Harry Nilsson, Frank Zappa, John Wesley Harding, Shonen Knife, Robyn Hitchcock, Nick Cave, PJ Harvey, Michael Nyman, Wim Mertens, and without a hint of embarrassment Kate Bush. Also, anything New Wave (as you can tell by much of the above).
Food: Will try almost anything except insects, love ethnic foods (Thai, Indian)
Playwrights and Theater Companies: Sam Shepard, Martin McDonagh, Peter Barnes, Caryl Churchill, Tom Stoppard, Harold Pinter, Howard Barker, Alan Bennett, August Wilson, Horton Foote, The New Group, The Public Theater & Shakespeare In the Park, BAM Next Wave Festival, The Actors Company Theatre (I did dramaturgical work for them), Theatre For a New Audience, and much more.
6. Human connection
I appear to be in a phase of life right now where, for whatever reason, I think more about the day-to-day (money, friends, ever elusive romance). I recall having a lot of bigger thoughts when I was a few years younger, thoughts about science and astronomy, philosophy and the nature of perception, the power of religion, the influence of institutional groupthink, and the corrupting impact of capitalism. I still read about and ponder these topics (and write about them), but I take my more present focus on smaller, more personal concerns as an indication that maybe, for some of my life, I've been neglecting my own needs and desires. I don't consider it a negative thing to focus more intensely on one's own wants - hopefully, at a future point in my life, when I'm more settled and secure in my personal situation, I will have the luxury to return to the big thoughts.
you have a fun tattoo.
you can teach me something I don't know.
you are an interesting creative person.
you draw/doodle on paper or sing/scream on a stage.
Here are a list of things that I like to do and would do with you:
go to flea markets, see free/cheap shows, see a new play, see a Shakespeare play, listen to jazz in a nightclub while drinking fancy cocktails, listen to a shit punk band in a hellhole while drinking cans of PBR, walk around the city aimlessly, try a new ethnic food at a cheap hole-in-the-wall, eat chocolate covered blueberries from Trader Joe's, see an old movie in a theater (I frequent MOMA because I get in free - also dig Anthology and Spectacle), play music (if you also play uke, or play an instrument that will sound good along with the uke), and while I am not renowned for my dancing abilities, I will shake like an idiot if the right music is playing (see the music I like for clues - no electronica or dubstep or industrial or hardcore, please).
Also always down to just grab a beer or a cup of coffee.
I try not to go into OKCupid dates with any expectations aside from being open and seeing where it goes. I've been on dates that ended after five minutes with barely any words exchanged, and I've been on dates that lasted all night and ended in bed. I think romance/dating/sexuality in general take a lot of different forms and can be expressed in many ways. It's hard to definitively say, "I'm only looking for a serious longterm relationship" or "I just want something casual and fun" or even "I'm really only looking to make friends at first" because I find that closes me off to potential positive experiences. Sometimes I yearn for a real relationship, sometimes I feel like I just want to get laid. Truthfully, it probably depends a lot on my feelings for the other person. I think most people are the same way, and I tend not to trust anyone who doesn't admit to complexity in their desires and wants. I envy people who have their lives and preferences so completely figured out, so if you do, congratulations! For me, the best option is simply to try to respond to the situation.