Let's see...I'm reasonably badass. I'm into creative chaos, dice with too many sides, long books, craft beer, getting lost on purpose, creating art for its own sake, and I also happen to be a world class medallist in kitten spooning.
Disclaimer: I am poly. I currently have two partners I adore immensely - A boyfriend-person of almost 3 years and a girlfriend-person who currently lives far away (but will ultimately be able to move closer).
It’s actually pretty cool – Or at least, for an officey job, I get to be a part of helping some folks.
There's still a slight chance though that I'll scrap everything, listen to all those prophesies, and just be a goddamn superhero already. Or learn enough programming to get paid for it, that's a possibility too!
Bookage: -Shakespeare (in full on fangirl ways) -The Master and Margarita -China Mieville -The Children's Hospital by Chris Adrian -Tolkien -Vellum by Hal Duncan -Neil Gaiman -Ovid's Metamorphoses -The Satanic Verses by Salman Rushdie -Who Fears Death by Nnedi Okorafor -Deathless by Catherynne M. Valente -Dianna Wynne Jones -Angela Carter -The Magicians by Lev Grossman -Frankenstein -Wicked -Trickster Makes This World -Mr. Fox by Helen Oyeyemi -The Rook by Daniel O'Malley -The Temeraire series by Naomi Novik
Graphic Novels: -Akira -Ex Machina -Sandman -Watchmen -The Arrival -Scott Pilgrim -Mouse Guard
Poetry: -Neruda -Rumi
Movies: Just don't make me watch reality TV and we're prooobably good to go. I go in for a lot of animation.
Examples: -Studio Ghibli (Princess Mononoke, Spirited Away) -Guillermo del Toro (Pan's Labyrinth, The Orphanage) -Hugo -The Lion King -I'm a Cyborg, But That's OK -The Beguiled -Inception -Wall-E -Wreck It Ralph -Birdman -Song of the Sea and The Secret of Kells
Shows: -Firefly -Carnivale -Buffy -Avatar: The Last Airbender -Mad Men -Community -Deadwood -Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni -Sherlock -Arrested Development -Gravity Falls -Misfits -Orange is the New Black -My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic -Dollhouse -Steven Universe -Bojack Horseman -Kill la Kill
Music: I tend to go for complexity-per-second type songs, if that makes sense. I also think well layed bass lines are sexy as hell. Recently I've actually been listening to more electronic stuff, but I don't totally feel like I've sussed out that spectrum of music yet (so if you have recommendations...)
Boardgames: -Scythe -MTG -Glory to Rome -Flashpoint -Scrabble -Codenames -Patchwork -YOUR FAVORITE BOARDGAME (please introduce me to it!!! :D)
Tabletop: -D&D -nWoD -Anima -Ironclaw -Mouse Guard -WarMachine/Hordes
Video Games: -Legend of Mana -Disgaea -The World Ends With You -Pokemon -Hatoful Boyfriend -Hustle Cat -Armello
Food: Uhh... macaroni and cheese or mashed potatoes. Sushi! Desserts, if that isn't a given. Indian, Italian, Mexican... Mangos. Cinnamon buns--Cinnamon anything, really. Vanilla. Cayenne. Goat cheese. Chai spices. PUMPKINS. Little tiny tomatoes. Pistachios.
2. Books (and more importantly sharing stories)
3. Quality tea and coffee <333
5. My dumb fuzzy kitteh babies Blackberry and Jam
6. Internet connection, let's be honest
I don't really have secrets. XP
Things I don’t want (like ever, I’m pretty sure):
-Restrictions, Obligations, Undiscussed Expectations, Transactionality*
-Being forced to assess you as a potential partner RIGHT NOW when I don't know you. That kind of formal dating seems very counter-intuitive to me.... Friendship and talking lots and holistic development of feels if feels there be, please!
(*Some mutually agreed-upon exceptions apply to these – but they shouldn’t form a fundamental part of a relationship)
Things I do want:
-Relationships that feel like real relationships. Which isn’t to say all relationships take the same format - but I’m pretty danged uninterested in habitually feeling like anyone’s dirty secret or like something they only halfway care about.
-The possibility of developing squishy feelings. Because, frankly, imposed restrictions to this don’t really even make sense to me? So situations where I would need to prune my feelings down like a bonsai don't appeal and seem super unnatural. This isn’t to say I would NEED to love someone to do anything with them necessarily, it’s more saying that if it developed and we both felt it that wouldn’t for some reason be the end of the world or void their contract with anyone else.
-Friendship, Support, Respect (Read: I’m probably not interested unless I’m quite sure you care about me more as a person than as a potentially fuckable object)
-Transparency, Communication, Accountability, Reliability
-People I will still love in 30 years (with the understanding that sometimes love changes form. Friendship is not an invalid form of love. Neither are fond memories necessarily, though I prefer situations without a feel of inevitable DOOM attached to them)
-Lots of shared experiences – because really just hanging out lots is the most romantic thing. Like… when you realize you just keep really liking seeing someone over and over and there is nothing at all binding you to that, but it’s super fun and you just never quite manage to run out of things to do.
-People that gel well with my current partners. I'm not a package deal with anyone (though I'm not opposed to the idea of something triangular developing either) but – well. I have a friend who once described this really well in a sentence, so I’m going to quote her here: “All of my partners should be able to sit and play a boardgame together without it being weird.” That.
Things that are immaterial in determining my desire to be close to a person:
-Age (Though if you’re young enough to be illegal, move along)
-The fact you might be in an existing relationship (provided other partners aren’t in the dark and are on board with everything)
-“Weird” stuff you are into**
-Not wanting sex or only wanting it occasionally
-Your seeking out tons of sex/intimacy/tea parties/playing frisbee/basically anything with other peoples (provided our safety values align)
*Though I dislike dealing with the preconfigured gender politics some men like to write into relationships with women. So…. Queer-mindedness is important even if your actual gender isn’t.
**Or at least it will not NEGATIVELY impact my wanting to get close to you as long as it’s consensual. You might get points for some of it.