33Syracuse, United States
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My self-summary
Hi. I'm Mike. I've basically given up on this app. So here are some made up things about me, and one real one. Try and guess which one is an actual fact about me.

You might know me better as Dr. Colossus, the arch villain who famously seized Portland Maine in 2011.

I'm a phd, not a medical doctor

Once I lost a hot dog eating contest to Elijah wood

I get static shocked around 15-20 times a day. There is seemingly nothing I can do about this.

I was the president of France for one summer in 2009 until I sold Paris to Portugal. What they wanted with it, I do not know.

I invented the exclamation point but lost all copyright to David Bowie in a poker match

I'm pretty sure I hit Peter Pan with my car. I didn't check. I just kept driving.

Donald trump once used my bathroom

I have a paralizing fear of ball point pens

Sometimes I feel bad for shirts I don't wear often.

I single handedly saved a bus full of orphans from a ship of time traveling aliens while simultaneously teaching a watercolor class at the adult learning annex.
What I’m doing with my life
I've decided that if I don't own my own hash house diner by 2016 my life is meaningless
I’m really good at
Getting static shocks.

Taking longer-than-reasonably-necessary-showers.
The first things people usually notice about me
The rocket skates usually gain some attention.
Six things I could never do without
Movie subtitles
My iPod
My boots
Noise canceling headphones
A hot black coffee
My bicycle
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Joe Biden once refered to me as "menacing, irresponsible, and unusually well dressed"
On a typical Friday night I am
Trying to make my own Velcro
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm actually two kids sitting in each others shoulders in a trench coat posing as an adult.
You should message me if
You tell me. I'd like to know. What's the worst that could happen?
The two of us