Don'tcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?
Don'tcha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?
Don'tcha wish your girlfriend was wrong like me?
Don'tcha wish your girlfriend was fun like me?
Profile updated 3/3/16
I'm recently back on okcupid after a year hiatus due to a very rough breakup. I'm not going to pretend it didn't happen. I'll be dead serious and say I truly had my heart broken and am slowly wading back into the dating waters.
I'm 5'7", Italian-American, dark red hair, pale skin, and a frequent smile. I am looking for men and women.
I graduated from Cornell University with a degree in nutrition, and I am looking for either friends with benefits or romantic dating. I am looking for both casual and serious relationships. I am only looking for ongoing things - nothing temporary. I'm not interested if you're just in town for a weekend or a few months.
I can be shy at times and outgoing at others. I'm a hard worker and tend to get along well with most people. I'm a perfectionist when dealing with something I care about. I'm relatively smart, and I'm also a bit of nerd. I am a hedonist. I can be clumsy, and I hiccup a lot.
I work as a nutrition researcher and I LOVE my job. I get to help sick children, I get to cook, and I get to make a difference in the world. I work four ten-hour shifts per week, which is nice because I get three days off per week. (Ever heard of Lorenzo's Oil? Yep, that's my team!)
I am passionate about nutrition. I believe the foods we eat affect our moods, energy levels, health, and lifespan. However, this doesn't mean I'm a perfect eater by any means! I enjoy healthy things like pineapple, peaches, and arugula, but I also rarely indulge in ice cream, peanut butter M&Ms, and annual girl scout cookies (I was a girl scout for twelve years). I eat 95% unprocessed vegan diet. I love the flavor of meat and ice cream as much as the next carnivore, but for health reasons I limit white sugar, white flour, oil, and all animal products to <5% of my intake.
-wearing graphic t-shirts
-sewing and crafts
-cooking (my last job was as a chef)
-learning from people
-going to Disneyworld/amusement parks
-going to national parks
-eating white tic tacs
-sipping ice wine or amaretto
-exploring little stores
-reading all day
-painting my nails
-volunteering at the animal shelter and hospital (update: I've stopped both of these, since I moved away from the animal shelter, and I'm now employed by a hospital rather than volunteering)
-playing board games (Anything from simple party games to complex eurogames. I'm not much for tabletop roleplay though.)
I enjoy going to the zoo, museums, parks, amusement parks, and new restaurants. Oh, and I LOVE farmer's markets! I also love visiting BDSM clubs and sex stores, but that's for later on in the profile...
I believe in moderation in all things, including moderation.
About my kinks
I'm putting this information here because it is relevant to the dating process, but you should talk to me and treat me just as you would any other woman without a section about sexuality on her profile.
I ran three blogs...the first two are on extended hiatus now.
- My first, two year old blog (NSFW): http://girlsrule-subsdrool.tumblr.com
- My newer blog (NSFW): http://proudhappymalesubs.tumblr.com
- My professional nutrition blog, which I am not going to post here, because I do not want it associated with my porn blogs. No, I will not tell you the URL for my nutrition blog until I know you past a few conversations.
I am always looking for new people to play with. I have known I was dominant for 10 years or so, but have been in the BDSM scene for four years. Real life BDSM is not like porn; I'm still just learning; and I want to play with people who are able to laugh it off if silly mistakes happen. :)
I'm ideally looking for smart, fun people who just happen to be submissive sexually. A little backtalk can be fun, but a lot is not enjoyable for me. I am not defined by my dominance; please don't be defined by your submission.
I *love* D/s, sex, oral, kissing, cuddling, teasing, tickling, training, protocol, collars, obedience, bodywriting, blindfolds, and so many things!
I am not a traditional sadist (though I do take a sadistic pleasure in the occasional bite or slap). I have zero interest in flogging, beating, spanking, whipping, cutting, bleeding, etc. I am not interested in chastity or crossdressing. Do not contact me begging me to peg you. I won't. There's nothing wrong with it, but I don't personally enjoy it. I rather have you focus on me.
I love having sex. I have an IUD and get regular STD checks. Hear me out, but... I do not like to use condoms. They ruin any ability to tease, in my mind. Therefore, long-terms partners must be proven STD free, and be comfortable with this. Feel free to discuss this issue with me, though! I completely understand if you'd rather not have sex this way until we're in an established relationship, but I require it to be satisfied over the long-term.
I don't always know what the fuck I'm doing but I sure as hell intend to have fun trying new things and figuring out what I like. :)
I'm not just a freaky pervert though; I'm also happy cuddling, flirting, and just having sex.
My sexuality is a big part of me, which is why I've talked about it so much, but that doesn't mean all I want to do is fuck. If your first message talks about wanting to hook up, meet for sex immediately, play tonight, exchange numbers, etc, I will not reply. I want to be friends and then the casual sex part might follow. :)
You can find me on fetlife.com under the name girlrulesubdrool (spelled exactly like this; stupid length restriction made me lose the s.) [Edit: on hiatus now, not updated.]
What I'm looking for
Right now I am not monogamous; before I moved to DC, I had multiple male and female submissives, one-on-one and in threesomes. I'm looking to do the same here, too. I'm particularly looking for women, either just for myself, or for myself and my amazing boyfriend, if you like him too.
I have NO INTEREST in just fucking. Sex is not hard to come by. Play with compatible and interesting submissives is what I am searching for.
If you're looking to play with me in person, I will request that you be cleanshaven upstairs and down: stubble in either place makes for a horrible seat! ;)
Also a nonsmoker (or completely clean when you visit me), and under age 30.
Thanks for looking! I love to strike up conversations about everything and anything.
I'm really not scary. I promise. Kink is just a part of my life that all of my friends know about, so I figured it was best to be upfront about it! Still kinky, still everything else, but now desire monogamy more than non-monogamy.
Let's get together
My ideal first meeting is actually taking a walk! Around a park, around a mall, around the memorials, around Alexandria, the harbor, the zoo... I prefer walks for a few reasons. They're public. They're good exercise. I love sunshine. People talk more openly when they're casually walking as opposed to making eye contact over a table. They can be as short or as long as we want. And nobody is pressured to buy anybody anything. So let's take a walk. :) If you'd rather do something else or have some creative idea I haven't thought of for a first meeting, I'm flexible.
You may call me Maria. (or Mistress, if we get to that. Not before.)
Or, that I write long profiles.
- Two books together: The China Study, and Eat to Live. I believe every person should read these two, in that order.
- The End of Overeating.
-The Thief trilogy
-books by Bill Bryson
- historical fiction
- nutrition books (Omnivore's Dilemma, Fast Food Nation, etc.)
-and so many that I can't think of right now. I can't leave the library without at least 10 books at a time, though
La Vita e' Bella
Mr. and Mrs. Smith
Pirates of the Caribbean
Happy (the documentary)
Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist
Pride and Prejudice
Drop Dead Diva
Once Upon a Time
Penn and Teller's Bullshit
Anything on the Food Network
(I make no claim of being a connoisseur.)
soundtracks from musicals (especially Rent, Avenue Q, Cats)
Kesha (especially Crazy Beautiful Life)
Taylor Swift (especially White Horse)
FUN (especially One Foot)
Bruno Mars (especially It Will Rain)
Pussycat Dolls (especially Don'tcha)
I'm such a foodie. I'll have a different favorite food every single day! I love trying new things and new recipes. I don't have a huge spice tolerance, but it is growing daily. Tapas are delicious and fun. I'm not at all picky, but some people think I am because the two things I do dislike happen to be popular things: I dislike cheese, and I'm not a huge fan of chocolate. (I know, I know.)
And this song: LINK
I would love to take somebody else's virginity. (Stop asking me to take your virginities, people. I meant it would be cool if it happened. I'm not going to fuck a stranger just because they're a virgin.)
I absolutely despise being called cute.
if you're an amazing person,
if you consider yourself submissive in a sexual way,
if you're generally a happy person,
if you can write using proper grammar,
if you can appreciate a bad joke,
if you have no facial hair,
if you don't smoke,
if you are ok with the fact that I am polyamorous,
and if you live within a decent driving distance (1hr) of me.
(Yes, this section is long, but ability to follow directions is one of the key attributes I look for in a partner. I get a lot of messages and I keep very busy, so be forewarned that it often takes me over a week before I reply. I apologize in advance.)
If, in your okcupid questions, you answered "no" to the question "would you consider being in an open relationship?" then please explain why you are writing to me. Otherwise, if I see that question answered "no," I am going to be confused and not reply to you since clearly nothing is going to happen between us. It's one of the first things I check.
If you write less than three sentences, I WILL NOT REPLY. Period. This makes it very easy for me to delete 75% of messages in my inbox without even looking at the sender's profile. This isn't me being a bitch; this is me filtering out the many many people who aren't actually reading this profile, and are just thinking "female! Sex!"
If you came to my profile because of the part that says "casual sex," I would like to explain that I mean an ongoing close-friends-with-benefits type situation. I do not mean one night stands or JUST sex.
Please do not send me a message saying "I think we have common interests." I am not a mind reader. Tell me which interests specifically that you think we have in common. And if you are trying to use "interests" as a euphemism for kink because you're uncomfortable talking about it, then we aren't going to get along.
Please don't IM me on here until you've sent a message to my inbox first.
I probably won't answer if your profile
- is nearly blank
- doesn't have pictures
- says you "can't describe yourself" or says your most private thing is that you're on okcupid
- talks ONLY about sex
- says you do drugs
- says "take my virginity!"
Also, PLEASE reply to our current thread of messages instead of starting a new one, so I can keep track.
Don't know what to say? Here's some conversation starters to choose from. Send me an answer:
What's something that you get excited about?
What's something you can talk about for a half hour straight?
What's something that made you smile today?
What's your favorite holiday and why?