Like many another, I was in San Miguel de Allende, the city of expatriates in Mexico. What I have learned from life is that I am happiest in a good relationship. I am an open, intelligent person, tolerant of views and ways of life. I'm willing and able to sit down and discuss life as a whole with you – your desires and mine, what we each want, and see if there really is a fit.
If you have a life on your own where you are, that's wonderful. But we are all seeking a partner – it's in our genes, and we may as well admit it. There really are people with whom we fit, more than we might imagine, and you may be the right one for me and vice-versa. One shouldn't give up and say that it will never happen.
And if you live now in an interesting or beautiful place and are willing to share your life with someone else, you may find that someone in me. I have written or spoken with a lot of people on OKCupid – yes, and I have had close and sensual relationships as well. In the end, having a lasting relationship did not come to pass. But the learning and good times were very instructive, and I feel happy that I have reached out in every way. I have lived in Paris, Marseille, Geneva, Vancouver, Halifax, Eugene, Seattle, New York City, Florida, Fresno, Tucson, and now Los Angeles. In the right environment, I can be happy. And no doubt you can, too.
So let's begin . . . .What am I about? I know that I feel and function better in a good relationship. Simple as that. We are in the "third act" of our lives, and we had better make the most of it.
This is all about finding happiness for you and for me. How? I suppose the best answer is, “Try to be as honest and direct as you can.”
[Before I forget, you can see me in a brief YouTube video at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EElJ1yXvs1U&feature=youtu.be
. It lets you see and hear me and look at my former house, too. I sold it to my ex, but it gives you an idea of what I like in a place].
I like this website because if you really study what people answer you just might find the love of your life. Personally, I'm working hard at that. The advantage that I have is a lot of free time and motivation. So that means writing, phoning, Skyping, whatever it takes. It's happened to me before and it was wonderful when it did, even if it didn't work out in the end. But with this website there's so much more information that there's really a hope of a perfect prediction. We'll see. (If you want to know more about what I'm thinking, just ask--I'm not shy).
I am writing in part to people who think of themselves as geographically distant from me. There's a reason for this. I'm re-thinking how I want to live, and I'm convinced that I can find someone, the rest may fall into place. She might move here, I might move there, or we might divide our time in both places or in an entirely new place. I think this is the time of our lives to dream a little and find some adventure as well as love.
I have connected with so many women who clearly have a life where they are but are dissatisfied. They want to find someone with their own core values, who will appreciate them and love them, a person they can come home to and be happy. Not all women are that way (nor men, either) – many can live alone and find comfort in that. But others cannot, and it's one of you who feel that way that I want. (But core values and connection are vital. See http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/love-and-dating-what-you-need?page=3
Here's what I think about a good relationship between a woman and a man. It grows from the emotional—chemistry—and the practical—interlinkages in personality and beliefs. I think that chemistry stems from a combination of looks and scent, with voice and inflection coming third. I like tall women (either athletic or slender, but if you're in the middle of trying to get yourself back in shape, that's good too. Health is really important. Also, I don't have any trouble with someone about 5'1" and up, really, if you have no trouble with someone 6'3”).
A good relationship avoids unnecessary conflicts over beliefs (religion, politics, etc.), financial matters, drinking and smoking, housekeeping, etc. There's also the matter of communication.
I'm very liberal in my politics. I was raised in an atheistic family but personally just say, “I don't know” about the divine. I accept the beliefs of others so long as they don't try to impose those beliefs on me. (I recently met a person on OKC who is religious, and yet we connected wonderfully. So I feel open to such people. Openness is a good thing, I feel).
I have a hard time tolerating smoking. (Cancer is really bad—why encourage it?) I drink in moderation (one drink a day—usually homemade beer, a glass of wine, and very occasionally a whiskey or brandy) and don't do drugs.
I've always enjoyed creating things—digital art, photography, fiction-writing, making my own bread and yoghurt, making wine and beer. I like to cook (don't enjoy cleaning up, but I do it). I've made my own croissants, know how to sew on buttons, iron shirts, and do practical things like electrical maintenance. If I have a piano, I play it (love all sorts of jazz, blues and bluegrass).
I was an exchange student to France and worked there. I speak French fluently and admire people with language ability. (I love traveling in Europe and Mexico, and I'm sure elsewhere—try me).
I try really hard to communicate with my partner. Sometimes I don't succeed. If you think I'm not getting something, just touch me nicely and say, “I'm thinking that you're not understanding what I'm trying to say.” Then say it again, or in a different way. Eventually I'll catch on if you're patient. (I'll do the same, if you'll allow it).
I was raised in New York and so have a tendency to anticipate what other people are going to say and finish sentences for them. I also tune things out. If you catch me doing that, please say so. (And vice-versa, I hope).
I like cuddling and caressing. On the other hand, I'm not good at reading other people's emotions, so I tend not to initiate. Try to warm me up. It almost always works.
I'm very computer literate and handy at learning new programs, downloading things.
I'm not fastidious about dress or keeping my desk neat and tidy. Maybe I'm thinking about too many other things. (I do the
I try to find humor in things.
If I write to you, it's because I think I see attractive things in you. But I'm really interested in the long haul—I want to know if there's a real fit, not just an apparent one. I'm quite willing to put in the time to find out if you are.