The way I see it, everyone is on here trying to sell themselves, which is fine, but most people aren't being totally honest when describing themselves. They're selling this idealized fantasy or delusion of who and what they are. Well, I'm not going to do that. I don't have the energy to maintain the facade I sell myself as, so I'm just going to be honest.
I'll start by saying that when push comes to shove, I probably don't have much to offer (unless your expectations are really low, and then I might seem like a catch). Most guys will talk about what they can do for you, but I'm not one of those guys. I'm immature for my age. That's to say that I don't act like most guys in their 40s. If I was 30 or 31, I would be considered very mature, but I'm not, so it's safe to say I'm immature. I'm a recovering cynic with a dark sense of humor. Also, and this is very important, these are good pictures of me. Honestly, I don't look this good in real life. Not that I'm ugly, because I actually do border on being devilishly handsome, but I'm also really photogenic. And I have a lot of body hair, which I will never shave or wax, period. I also have 17 tattoos, and I need to lose some weight. Not that I'm completely covered in tattoos, or I'm an obese slob (but I have 17 tattoos and I need to lose some weight -- and if I'm going to be really honest, I just don't look good naked). I have a tendency to be brutally honest, which is more of a character flaw than a good attribute.
There is little I can say about myself in this limited space that can truly convey all of my complexities. I mean seriously, what am I supposed to say? I like movies, especially documentaries, zombie movies, and indie films no one else has ever heard of. I like eating, especially food that someone else has cooked, although I am a decent cook in my own right. I like reading, especially comic books (which might make me immature). I like all kinds of music, especially old school hip-hop and hard rock, but will often listen to the same two or three albums over and over again for weeks at a time, and I'm one of those people who obsessively makes mix CDs. Right now my favorite food is toast, dry (but that is likely to change some time in the next six to twelve months). I like exercising, but I still can't seem to get back into the shape I was in when I was 20.
I don't drink, do drugs or go to church. I've never hit a woman, cheated on a girlfriend or been arrested. I've never had a STD, been married and I don't have children, and this is VERY important, I'm not sure I want kids. TRANSLATION: I'm hesitant to date anyone with kids. Doesn't mean I won't do it, but it is a consideration.
And did I mention that I'm shallow?
There. Now I've described myself and you have no real clue as to what I'm about.
I am new and improved, better than ever, and packed with goodness.
*anything else is just a bonus.
Instead of listing anything, I'll just say that I am not easily embarrassed, and there is nothing I won't own up to. If you want to know my feelings about my graying pubic hair, or the oddest place I've ever gone to the bathroom, simply ask.
Please DO NOT bother to contact me if:
1. You do drugs
2. Get drunk on a regular basis
3. Are still hung up on your ex
4. Are addicted to drama
5. Have kids but you're a bad parent
6. Have no self esteem
7. Have no common sense
8. Your ex is a psycho who threatens every guy you date
9. You think finding a man will be the answer to all your problems
10. Don't try to keep up with current events and/or you admire Donald Trump "because he speaks his mind."
11. You think text messaging is a viable form of communication
12. Expect the man to pay for everything
13. You suffer from "abandonment issues" and/or everything is a "trigger."