45 Buffalo, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
1. I do not have an A-List account, so cannot tell if you like me. Please message me.
2. If you do message me, please send more than a "hi" or likewise. Let me know you read my profile (didn't know there'd be a quiz, did you?). Introduce yourself.
3. Do not message me if you have an empty profile and no photo.

In my "Personality" tab, it says I'm "Less Old-Fashioned". I guess that's true in a lot of ways, because if you live a life of straight and narrow, I must appear as some wild thing. BUT amongst my priorities in life are things like taking care of my family and being a loyal friend.

I am pansexual. I am married. I am a polyamorist. I am kinky. I'm pretty pleased with my cisfemininity (so long as "femininity" includes wearing hightops, rolled-up jeans and men's shirts more often than not- and I think it does!), but don't really subscribe to a binary view of sexuality and gender. So if you need one word to try and describe me, I'd pick QUEER.

(Normally I don't like to define myself or others on the basis of with whom I/they have sex, but since this is a dating site, I will open with that information in order to clear away confusion. Honestly and communication are all important!)

That said, I'm open to pen-palling with people of similar interests. Or making friends in my new city/country. I'm interested in a person (or people) who can fill in some gaps in my sex and social life (whilst at the same time being mindful of not getting into a pokemon/objectifying mode). My husband is more than OK with me dating and telling him all about it. I'm not looking for a replacement primary. (And actually, I'm starting to question the whole "primary" system within polyamory, but that's another conversation.)

My faith is important to me. I don't worry particularly about yours or your lack thereof, so long as you don't hate on mine, and are overall respectful of others'. I'm on the Sufi path, which makes me a Muslim. I'm VERY progressive (see pan, poly, and perforinked). I try to meditate every day, and am learning to appreciate My Beloved's presence in every person, thing, and moment. I don't talk about it much, but will if asked. I dislike extremists and hypocrites of all colours and sizes: that goes for Muslims, Christians, etc... and Atheists alike.

I'm perforinked: tattooed, pierced, scarred and branded. Body art is an expression of one's self, and piercings in the right places are fun. And I've got lots of fun piercings. I believe that they're a wonderful expression of a personality, and feel as though I'm concealing a part of myself if my ink is covered.

I love doing crafty things like Ukrainian egg decorating. I used to be really into henna designs, but I'm not keen on cultural appropriation, so I'm working through some things about that. I also question whether I should wear hijab: as a revert to Islam, it feels like it's appropriative of Arab culture. I struggle with that, because it's nice to have that visible badge so that I can be identified as a sister, but I also don't love how it is often used as a tool for male control. Still working on that. A lot of what I'm doing seems to be working through stuff, actually.

I love teaching (I have taught Irish dance and either side of the Atlantic and English in Germany, and directed a musical in Portugal) because it lets me grow almost as much as my students. I love board games, card games, computer games and especially role-playing games.

I'm political in that I can't tolerate intolerance, won't stand for injustice. I'm a feminist, and hope I'm not one of those "white feminisits". Intersectionality is where it's at. And if you have to box my political beliefs, I'm an anarcho-socialist (or thereabouts) with the occasional leaning towards "thick" libertarianism.

I savour life. New experiences are wonderful, but old ones can be just as amazing. I find joy and beauty and marvel in the big and small. I need to find the joy, because there is so much that is awful going on in the world that I hold on to the beauty where I can.

I love to travel, and even more; love returning home. After being born and raised in Canada, I lived in Portugal for two years, Germany for two years, Maritime Canada for a year, and have been living in America for the past two years for the first time. I've moved six times in the past seven years, and enjoy all the planning and unpacking, and the challenge of creating a new home. It's like theatre: you create something wonderful, and then strike the set and move on to the next project. It looks as though I'll be here in Buffalo for at least seven years, though, so it's time to put down some roots.

I'm ridiculously sociable. I love learning about other people and their stories, traditions, cultures. It confounds my husband how I'll start up a conversation with someone at random, for example in the line at a grocery store. I make friends fairly easily.

My heart has been sorely wounded in the past, but I'm not ashamed of my emotional scars; they help define me, and are a reminder of how far I've come, what I've survived. Besides, scars can be sexy.
What I’m doing with my life
In 2008 after a traumatic discovery I got myself a quick divorce and found myself a single and unemployed mother. Since then I've done therapy, found faith, fallen in love, gotten married, and moved from Canada.

Right now I'm playing hausfrau (and it's not just about cooking and cleaning, it's about providing a nurturing environment for my family) and loving it. I live with my husband of six years and our cat. I'm adjusting pretty well to empty nesting, with two daughters in their twenties living in Canada.

I want to work because I want to be able to travel and have more financial freedom. But if someone would just give me money to stay at home, I would be totally OK with that. I can always find something to do, and love volunteering. I don't need work to find fulfillment.

I love new experiences, and savouring every moment, and am pleased to report I am doing so! I also love documenting my life, and am a compulsive photographer and blogger.
I’m really good at
Crafts (henna, Ukrainian egg decorating). Teaching. Cooking. Listening. Expressing myself (verbally, in writing). Making friends.
The first things people usually notice about me
Shaved head or freaky hairstyle/colour & tattoos.
My smile: my exuberance and self-assurance.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
There's so much out there, it's frustrating to have to narrow the field! I'm probably forgetting a bunch, but here goes...

Persian Love Poetry (Rumi, Omar Khayyam, Hafiz, etc), Science Fiction (Cyberpunk, classics like Asimov/Heinlein, Banks, MacCleod, Sterling, Neal Stephenson, etc), Cookbooks (vegetarian/vegan, local foods), Fantasy (GRR Martin, Robin Hobb, Tolkien, Anthony), Role-playing Games, Non-Fiction (I'm always looking to expand my mind: science, philosophy, history, etc), Totalitarian literature (We, 1984, A Clockwork Orange, A Handmaid's Tale, etc), Comics (Sandman, Beautiful Stories for Ugly Children, webcomics, Lobo, Hellraiser, Alien Vs. Predator, Angel Claw, etc)

Jodorowsky, The Hunger, RHPS, Superstar, Lord of The Rings, Blade Runner, Monty Python, A Clockwork Orange

Doctor Who/Torchwood, Big Bang Theory (many mixed feelings about it, but I believe that it is possible to like problematic things), Game of Thrones, True Blood, Glee (though I hate myself for it), Fringe, Castle, Firefly, So You Think You Can Dance, Utopia, Misfits, competitive cooking shows

Irish trad, Goth, 70's/80's Punk, Industrial, Sufi, Classical, Good techno/psy-trance (something I can get lost in), 80's "alternative"/retro

Garlic butter and anything you can put it on (lobster, pasta, artichokes, etc), Crème brulée, Sushi, Aged cheddar. Anything (without pork) cooked with care.
I enjoy the challenge of transforming traditional foods into vegan and/or vegetarian versions.
The six things I could never do without
Companionship (though honestly, with my faith I'm not truly ever alone) and my Family
Good Food
Good Music
The Internet
I spend a lot of time thinking about
My Beloved
On a typical Friday night I am
Eating a tasty dinner that I cooked, then watching a movie or telly, or even better, playing a game. Or going to the theatre.
Listening to great music.
Playing Facebook games.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I used to wish that this one hair on my chin would make friends so I could rock a goatee.
I tend to dress fairly "butch", but wear lacy bras. I love the clothes on "Holy Clothing", but don't think that I would feel comfortable in such femme things. It's a work in progress.
You should message me if
... you'd like to explore the possibilities
... you can communicate in English and/or French and/or German

I upped the ages I'm most interested in to span from 30-50. Honestly, I've enjoyed some fierce crushed on people younger and older, but I'm thinking that maybe it would feel less creepy if we were closer in age. That's not a hard line, though. Younger and older all have things to teach and share!

As much as it has been a turn on in the past, for safety sake mostly (and for my husband's comfort level) I'm not thrilled at the idea of just sex. I'm more of a "friends with benefits" kind of person. I'd like to be able to enjoy a good meal, conversation and evening with someone before hitting the sheets, or a day/weekend trip to a fun location where we can learn things together and take lots of goofy photos. All in all, I'm happy to meet new people, learn about their stories, get to know the world one person at a time, so even if the physical chemistry isn't happening, I'm happy to have made a new friend.

Bonus points if you have the patience/ability/inclination to teach me how to knit.