35Decatur, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
I'm clever, I'll have you laughing and learning shit.

I enjoy a simple life with simple things. I am not materialistic and I don't care for people who define themselves with their possessions and money. I prefer the city over the country, but I am no stranger to the wilderness. I also have an odd sense of humor, I think I'm hysterical. I am witty and sarcastic. I also enjoy using the word "I" when I'm describing myself.

I am Agnostic, I don't know the "Truth". I have a few hypotheses; God doesn't exist, God is dead, God doesn't care about us anymore, God is ashamed of his 'creations' and abandoned us, God doesn't realize he, she, or it is God, or God is not a being with thought but instead a form energy. I favor the last one. I consider myself an Agnostic Atheist. I don't think there is a god or gods; but I know there is no way to know for sure. How can you prove the nonexistence of anything?

I drive around on a scooter. Fun as hell. I had a car it died, I never drove it. I don't feel like working more just to buy something I won't use, plus I can always rent a car in those rare circumstances where I need one. I never leave the perimeter, the rest of Georgia scares me; and logistics. Athens is cool, though. And I tend to laugh at rednecks in their faces and they are insecure about that stuff.

One of my favorite quotes I stole from an old Star Trek episode:
“The most elementary and valuable statement in science, the beginning of wisdom is ‘I do not know’. I do not know what that is.”

Do no harm and take no shit; but when you have to lay a mother fucker out, help them back up.

Born in C[r]ook County, Illinois, so I have that Chicago attitude. Think Michelle Obama, Bill Murray, Ernest Hemingway, Hillary Clinton, etc.

I will choose integrity over money, therefore I'm far from being wealthy. If you are looking for a honest guy with cash, good luck.
What I’m doing with my life
In truth, I have no fucking idea what I'm doing with my life, I'm [mostly] enjoying the ride, and doing my damnedest not to crash into something.

I'm currently writing a book of depressing haikus, I plan on having it illustrated and self published. here are a few:

I drown in my bath
My cat starves and eats me up
Sucks for the landlord

To serve and protect
I am going to stop you
With my gun. Pop. Pop.

Big ass monster truck
You must have a baby dick
Sucks for your girlfriend

On a pedestal
Great, I am afraid of heights
How do I get down?

Don't write me haikus
This shit isn't that easy
You might blow your chance
I’m really good at
not dying. So far so good.
And deadpan. These things might be unrelated.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Wow, we like the same pop culture stuff. We can be friends.
Six things I could never do without
Maslow's hierarchy of needs type of stuff
Caffeine in the form of coffee
A certain plant that I will not name to treat and prevent migraines
[Insert random cliche bullshit]
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Why are the Fifth, Eighth, and Fourteenth Amendments consistently ignored by those that made an oath to defend The Constitution?

My nightmares:
A 3D printer that becomes self aware...
That saltine crackers will be the only food left after we ruin all drinkable water...
An iceyhot dispenser that looks like deodorant...

...And the fact that the last one actually exist

Why do people consider hunting a sport? It's not, the hunter has a weapon and the prey just has itself. It's not a sport, it's just being a fuckwad killing shit for amusement. I understand hunting for food, but instead drive your ass to kroger. Obviously, if someone is hunting with nothing but a knife, Crocodile Dundee style, well, I'm not going to insult that. Try chasing down a deer on foot, or fighting a bear with a knife. That is pretty badass and sporting. Bows, Guns, Crossbows, Traps, etc is not a sport and just douche-ness. Knife is the only way to go if you are hunting.

Why can't I fall asleep? And why can't I wake up?
Insomnia is why I probably viewed your profile at 3am.

What if FDR was able to pass his 2nd Bill of Rights?

How much money is made from war and how full of shit Liberty Bonds were?

Also how badass General Smedley D. Butler was. Two Medals of Honor and allegedly foiled a coup against the US and FDR. His book "War is a Racket" is a must read.
On a typical Friday night I am
Fuck this section, and the asinine bullshit that accompanies it.
You should message me if
I rarely message people. Too many thirsty fellas causing too many annoyed ladies. I have little interest in typing a thought-out paragraph just to be buried with hundreds of "sup your cute" messages, I have more entertaining ways to waste time. Obviously, I will find exceptions.

If you are interested in me, message me.

Don't be boring. I promise that I'm much more interesting in real life.

I would rather date someone that is brilliant than pretty. Preferably both.

#BlackLivesMatter if that's a problem or offensive, then I'm not the one for you.

Feminist prefered! Strong women with big brains are extremely sexy!

Don't get angry because your cat likes me more than you. Sorry, not sorry. I whisper cats, the secret is rewarding them only when they behave and ignoring them completely when they don't. And if all else fails, waterboard them.

Surprisingly, negging me will not illicit a positive response.
The two of us