mySylph
105 Tulsa, United States
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mySylph
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My self-summary
This is by no means an exhaustive description, but only skims the more salient points of my character, life, and beliefs. I have tried to touch, at least, on all the most important elements of who I am, and what I seek. If it resonates with you, feel free to ask questions for the sake of further clarity.

I'm an unconventional adventurer and world traveler, looking for friends who are as much fun and as loyal, brave, and kind as I am. I write prose, poetry, and songs, and love to experience books, art, and music of many kinds.

I am interested in learning many kinds of alternative, sustainable lifestyles and technologies. I want to spend my time with people who strive to live lightly on Mother Earth. I am not religious but a free spirit, who lets her conscience be her guide in all things. I dream of living one day soon in an egalitarian, sustainable, self-sufficient, intentional community, somewhere near a tropical ocean...

I always seek deep connections with love. I crave the company of soul friends who want to share this amazing life and play on, as the eternal children we are meant to be.

I don't smoke or drink, because I don't enjoy the feelings that tobacco and alcohol give, but I have been known to enjoy other natural highs that Mother Nature has so graciously provided.Health is a turn-on, so I prefer not to keep company with substance addicts of any kind, including drunks and smokers.

I desire to commune with happy, vital, energetic beings, who are optimist, and love living. I seek the same kind of loyalty and self-disclosure that I offer, and dream of meeting a brave soul, who is ready to share this grand adventure with me.

A sharp mind and sensitive spirit are important, as well as self-confidence, not to be confused with arrogance or conceit. I desire to truly know those who look into things deeply. I prize the company of someone who knows who he (or she) is, or who is busily discovering him/herself, and who is unafraid to share that self fully with me. Radical honesty, passion for living, and a deep love of self are all big draws for me! I want to spend my time with someone just as unique and marvelous as I am, who is not threatened by a woman who knows what she wants, and actively seeks it out.

Musicians, artists, writers , and artisans often intrigue me, since I am drawn to those who are in the magical process of creating. In the past, I have experienced incredible periods of growth and beauty as I spent time among those in the creative flow. I am ready to be in that space once again...

I have 3 kids, ages 24, 21, and 8, who are essential in my life. I identify as an attachment-style mom, and an unschooler, so I spend most of my time in the company of my youngest child, and as much of my time as I can in the company of all three kids. They are the best friends I could ever hope for.

If knowing my chronological age is of paramount importance to you, before you take the time to know me as a being, then I don't have time for you. This is why my age is listed as over 100. Experience and maturity are relative qualities, and have little to do with how many years one has passed on this planet. I am open to knowing and loving beings of any age, and I expect this same openness from those with whom I spend my time.

Having birthed 3 kids already, I am not interested in reproducing again during this lifetime. Those individuals who are looking for a woman with whom to make babies should look elsewhere, because this woman's womb has done its duty, and will not be carrying or releasing any more offspring! This being said, I could certainly see myself helping to raise my partner's children.

Sex is a really big deal to me, and I broke up with my first long-term partner, in part, because it was merely a physical thing for him. A more recent mate of mine was a more loving and connected sexual partner, which was wonderful, but the two of us were not well-matched, libido-wise, and I always felt unfulfilled by the low frequency of our lovemaking. I am currently thrilled to have a lover who will gladly make love with me daily or every other day. I hope to find another lustily loving partner, whose sex drive is compatible with my own, and who brings his/her heart, as well as genitals into the sex act.

I have had plenty of (technically!) good sex in my life, and can appreciate it, but now I seek those who will make an art out of cherishing me, body, mind, and spirit, at every opportunity, and gladly accept my worship in reciprocal fashion. It is fair to say that sexuality is a dominant part of my spirituality, and I seek another who feels the same. I believe my true path in this life is a tantric one, and I choose to manifest new partners who will walk this sacred way with me in joy and wholeness ...

I have been quite fortunate in my life to have many wonderful friends, and have found that some of them were interested in being my lovers, when I only felt drawn toward friendship with them. I think it is important to note that so-called "chemistry" definitely plays a big part in determining the people to whom I feel attracted.

Please be forewarned, if we begin to converse, and especially if we seem to be hitting it off, that physical attraction is an essential part of the mix. If I feel there is something interesting going on between myself and someone I meet online, I will soon want to meet in person in order to find out if that interest extends into the physical realm...

While I do not like to think of myself as shallow, and overly concerned with the physical, I would be lying if I said looks make no difference to me. I tend to be attracted to tall, thin men (I have yet to be attracted to non-males in this lifetime, but I do not rule out that possibility for exploration.) who are youthful in appearance. I often like those with a bit of an androgynous look about them, and have even wondered at times if I might be compatible with a transl, or inter-sexed individual, though I have never had an opportunity to find out.

Another factor which comes into play in the matter of attraction is less easily defined than one's measurements or stats, but is perhaps even more crucial. It is a unique combination of personal smell, voice, posture, facial expressions, style of communication, gestures, and so many other things which come together in just the right way to thrill me, and to entice me into intimacy. Many people whom I have admired in other ways have simply not had what it takes to turn me on. I think it is important not to settle for a love relationship with someone who is better suited to be only a friend. I am holding out for those that feel just right for me!

I am a believer and practitioner of the Law of Attraction, and I know that I will be most compatible with others who base their lives on this knowledge of how the universe works. If this sounds like you, please do not hesitate to get in touch!

I recently lived in Belize for a year, and in Mexico, after that, for a year and a half, in a couple of little tourist towns called Sayulita, and San Pancho, about an hour from Puerto Vallarta. I returned to California April 3rd of 2015, and have enjoyed getting back into the swing of life in my home country. I am poised on the brink of a journey across the country in my new home, which is a 40-foot skoolie, which I acquired after losing all my material possessions in a wildfire last summer. I am loving the bus life, and hoping to hit Tulsa by the end of July, 2016.

I have been in a wonderfully compatible, monogamous relationship with a dear friend and lover, since Thanksgiving of 2015, and we find ourselves currently at a crossroads. He came into the relationship with the desire to explore a poly lifestyle, though he has never before had more than one partner at the same time. I have some curiosity about polyamory as well, though I do not feel as strong a pull toward it as he does.

We are traveling across the country together, convoying in our two RV's, and figuring out whether we will stay together, or part ways soon. We are open to exploring with others who are also interested in polyamory, and could be open to adding other partners to our remarkably harmonious union. Since he has a greater level of interest and comfort concerning the idea, he has kindly offered for me to be the first to seek a new lover, and to do so with his consent and blessing.

I am curious and open to seeing how polyamory may feel to me, but I am not determined to make it work at any cost, and we are both aware that my dating may just as likely yield a new monogamous relationship for me, as a poly one. We love each other so much that we are both open to finding the best people and situations for ourselves, regardless of whether our relationship as lovers persists, or we continue on as platonic friends, and part ways as domestic companions.

If you find me interesting, and are not frightened by the idea of exploring such an unconventional situation, or if you are a veteran of the poly life, with ideas or advice for us, please don't hesitate to get in touch.

We believe in frequent testing for STD's, and went on a "medical date," to be sure we were both in good sexual health, at the beginning of our relationship. We are both committed to being tested with any new potential partners, before becoming sexually intimate with them.
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It would be wonderful to meet some folks who are near to me (wherever I may happen to be), or who are willing to travel to visit me. If my profile resonates with you, feel free to seek me out as a potential friend, lover, or mate. I send these words out with the intention of finding members of my growing tribe... So mote it be!
What I’m doing with my life
I love to take tests on OKCupid, and just scored ENFJ on one.
;-)

While living in Mexico, I camped a couple of months on the beach at tiny, Playa Mayto, a couple of hours drive south of here, and volunteered at a sea turtle rescue camp, which was an absolute blast!

While living outside the US, I taught myself how to weave various useful, fun, and decorative items out of the ubiquitous fronds of the coconut palm, and developed that enjoyable pastime into a way of supporting myself financially. Check out my Facebook album to see my photos, if you're curious about this nearly lost art.
https://m.facebook.com/spiralsylph/albums/10152247367417307/

While living in California, I wove with other fibers, which grew locally. I enjoyed working with weeping willow, fern, tule, and miscellaneous grasses, to see what I could make. I will soon find local weaveable fibers in Tulsa, and start teaching weaving workshops...

My song-writing days seem to have been a flash in the pan, but you never know what the future will bring. For a listen to what I was doing a few years ago, go here:
http://www.myspace.com/spiralsylphband
I will also welcome the day when my writing will no longer be limited to e-mails and the occasional blog entry...

I am a dumpster-diver, and reclaimer, and feel quite satisfied when I can put something free to good use, and opt out of consumption. I always actively seek ways of living for free, and intend one day to live completely free from the need for money.

I used to adore going out on my bike, alone, or with my kids, and riding for many miles, seeking beauty and adventure in the dark. We are a family of night owls who love to connect with others who are awake and full of energy in the darkness. Night cycling was not safe or appropriate in the places I have lived for the past few years, and I miss it. I am greatly looking forward to riding at Tulsa's River Parks trails very soon...

I am learning to spin nunchuks, and to contact juggle, but am very much a novice at both. I intend to find local opportunities to do yoga (I'm particularly intrigued by acro yoga these days!), bellydance, meditation, women's circles, full-moon circles, intenders' circles, empowerment circles, massage exchange, ecstatic dance gatherings, tantric study groups, and other rich experiences I haven't yet thought of, right away!

I used to go to Harbin Hot Springs (a local, clothing-optional resort in my previous hometown in Cali) at least once a week for an ecstatic dance, and then stay and soak, and sleep out under the stars, so I could enjoy the benefits of a 24-hour pass, and bask in the sun the next day. Sadly, Harbin was one of the casualties of last summer's wildfires. I miss it deeply.

I seek, eventually to form an off-grid, sustainable, self-sufficient, consensus-based intentional community, somewhere in the tropics. To that end, I check out all the Rainbow Family Gatherings, primitive skills events, unschooling events, and intentional communities I can, to meet interesting people, and learn new and pertinent things. I really enjoy traveling , and I'd love to find just the right folks to come along to share in the adventure...
I’m really good at
I am really good at enjoying life, and finding ways to learn from everything that happens. I am also a loyal and supportive friend, and I take pride in being there for those I care about. Mostly a dabbler in a lot of different stuff, I am probably best at writing, weaving, and raising happy, healthy kids.
The first things people usually notice about me
People usually notice my unconventional ways, and my sense of adventure, as well as my dynamic energy! I am also a practitioner of radical honesty, and enjoy evoking honesty in kind from those I meet. Mutual self-disclosure is awesome!!!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books (just a few that come to mind!)- Ishmael, My Ishmael, The Story of B, Beyond Providence, and The Man Who Grew Young, by Daniel Quinn. How Children Learn, How Children Fail, Instead of Education, and Teach Your Own, by John Holt. Everything by Stephen King, especially The Stand and the Dark Tower series! A Winter's Tale, A Dove of the East, A Soldier of the Great War, Memoir from Antproof Case, Freddy and Fredericka, and A City in Winter by Mark Helprin. Atlas Shrugged and The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand. The Golden Compass series by Philip Pullman. The Earth's Children series by Jean M. Auel. The Botany of Desire, by Michael Pollan, and Conscious Loving, by Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks. I love to read all the books I can find on Law of Attraction, especially the Abraham/Hicks books.

Movies include- Dead Again, Contact, What Dreams May Come, The Butterfly Effect, The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, The Lost Boys, City of Lost Children, Princess Mononoke, Back to the Future, Magnolia, Barbarella, Life is Beautiful, Amelie, Frequency, Grand Canyon, Flatliners, A Clockwork Orange, Poltergeist 1 & 2, Magic, A.I., The Sixth Sense, Cocoon, Time Bandits, Bicentennial Man, Four Rooms, The Shining, Donnie Darko, The Breakfast Club, Harold and Maude, Brewster McCloud, Electric Dreams, Waking Life, Jacob's Ladder, Pleasantville, Labyrinth, Legend, The Last Unicorn, Cat's Eye, Friends, The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane, The Princess Bride, Altered States, Brainstorm, The Blue Lagoon, 12th Night, Monty Python's Life of Brian, The Meaning of Life, And Now for Something Completely Different, The Holy Grail, Jonathan Livingston Seagull, Dune, Lord of the Rings, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Brazil, About Time, and all the Harry Potter movies.

Television- I don't really watch television, having not owned one in better than 15 years, but my kids sometimes download stuff that I enjoy. Some examples are Adventure Time, Star Trek the Next Generation, The X-Files, Metalocalypse, Black Adder, Arrested Development, Mr. Show, Important Things,Dexte with Dimitri Martin, Lost, Weeds, Lie to Me, Sherlock, The Simpsons, & Robot Chicken.

Music- Pink Floyd, The Decemberists, Iron and Wine, Neutral Milk Hotel, Radiohead, Pinback, Coldplay, Tool, The Shins, The Morning Benders, Martha Wainwright, Regina Spektor, St. Vincent, Deerhunter, Sunny Day Real Estate, The Fire Theft, A Perfect Circle, Coil, The Mars Volta, New Order, Joy Division, Ben Folds, Rufus Wainwright, Joe Jackson, Jethro Tull, The Doors, Led Zeppelin, Travis, Portishead, Moby, Yo La Tengo, My Bloody Valentine, David Bowie, Brian Protheroe, Ennio Morricone, Paul Simon, Joni Mitchell, Blue Oyster Cult, Seal, Siouxsie and the Banshees, The Creatures, Chris and Cosey, The Revolting Cocks, Skinny Puppy, Peter Murphy, Al Stewart, Bread, The Moody Blues, Morrissey, The Smiths, Bjork, They Might Be Giants, Punkinhead, Blue Boy Orliss and the Stompers, Billy Goat, Ministry, Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, The Crash Test Dummies, Frank Zappa, Beck, Elton John, The Damned, Kimya Dawson, Manchester Orchestra, Black Moth Super Rainbow, Sigur Ros, and so many more!

Foods- Raw food, Thai, Indian, Lebanese, Pakistani, sushi, Ethiopian, Chinese, Greek, Sri Lankan, seafood, chocolate!
The six things I could never do without
love, sex, music, freedom, the magical art of manifestation, and warm, tropical waters
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I think a lot about what life is for, and how I can make the most of the time and opportunities I have. I daydream of how delicious my life will be when I am living a life of primitive simplicity, and vigorous health in the tropics. I am a firm believer in the law of attraction, and generally remember to think happy, positive thoughts, in order to manifest outcomes which are in keeping with the feelings they engender in me. :-)
On a typical Friday night I am
There is no such thing as a typical Friday night for me, since I have no school or work schedule to regulate my life. I tend to stay up late, though, doing whatever pleases me. I much prefer to be out and about, seeking those things which fascinate me, and I won't wait for a Friday to make that happen.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I am a crazy fool, and pleased about it.
You should message me if
You should message me if what I have said here resonates with you, and you think we might enjoy getting to know one another...

Also, if you have scored high on my compatibility test (http://www.okcupid.com/tests/the-should-i-seek-sylph-test) or have any questions or comments about it, feel free to get in touch!
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