For your reading pleasure I recommend that you sit back, put your feet up and read this Curriculum Vitae in Romance (love in the 21st Century huh!) with the voice of Morgan Freeman* caressing your eardrums.
"I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a DJ who had no beats. So I said... got any kicks you're not using?"
...they said I should start with a joke! Suppose I only need (the right) one of you to laugh anyway.
And for those whom I've failed to humour, it's a way to illustrate that music plays a big part in my life (both as a profession and a way to kill time) and my disposition for a bangin' pair of shoes without saying it out loud like I've just...
*individual results may vary.
Forgetting to cleanse my hands of chilli prior to rubbing my eyes during the preparation of said stirfry. The impact of Muhammad Ali in my eyes was not the intended target (please see "Chilli" outlined two sections below.)
> Tarantino: I have seen all his films. Not just favourite because of his witty dialogue, trademark camera angles and non-linear storylines, but the WAY he uses music for the soundtrack. During my MA I produced a research essay on that very subject.
> The Mighty Boosh: B-b-because - Noel Fielding. My favourite moment is when he exclaims "tastes like a bounty!" upon savouring a coconut for the first time.
> FUNK: James Brown, Parliment / Funkadelic, Commodores, Kool & the Gang, Larry Graham, The Meters, Earth Wind & Fire... that swing, that groove, it makes ya wanna mooove!! When that swing deserted FUNK it became DISCO. Which ain't good for anything unless you like CHIC. When I grow up I want to be Nile Rodgers.
> Tom Yum Soup: Ohh the flavours! And it's HOT!!! Please see "Chilli" in the section below.
> Coffee: No milk, no sugar, just BLACK. Like 90% of my wardrobe. My friends insist I wear more colour but I think it allows the remaining 10% "PöP" a little more.
> Piano: Preferably in tune, with 88 working keys at my disposal. Though I don't mind the occasional honky tonk. Gives it a bit of "character."
> Boots: Surely, you'd understand? If not... then I will bid you 'good day' right here. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
> Lobster: The KING of crustaceans! In Cantonese we call it "Loong Haa," which translates to "Dragon Prawn". Go figure. A popular dish when dining out with the fam - prepared with ginger and spring onions, always.
> Conditioner: Say goodbye to shampoo. You. Don't. Need it.
That I may be THE rare Unicorn+ of the online dating experience you've been searching for all your life. Technology has fortunately catapulted my natural habit from that of forests (and your dreams) into the vastness of cyberspace.
+subject to your well-informed discernment and sophisticated taste in life.
Then putting my hands up for Detroit.
Or in the studio trying to figure out why the snare ain't sitting in the mix!!
With all sincerity, do holla if you believe that you and I would compliment / be compatible with each other. Mind you, not in the 'cheese-to-my-macaroni'** kinda way either because that's just cheesy (excuse the p[h]un***) and one way street up to cholesterol city. Don't be a statistic. Otherwise, if the sentiment is mutual, I'll holla back :D
**not an accurate representation of the author's opinion regarding the soul warming gloriousness of Mac 'n Cheese or related cuisines, but you know, when... "true love" is at stake - for all intents and purposes of this article, this was purely a #metaphor........................!
***this would have been quite tricky to comprehend if you've managed to continue with the voice of Morgan Freeman. In the case that you have? #bonuspoints #destinyawaits #macncheesejustgotmetaphysical
:: You may now return to your regular programming ::