32Houston, United States
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My self-summary
*A lot of details here are out of date. Update coming soon!*

My name is Grey. I have been on OKC since 2004.

I'm looking to collect people, one at a time, who I can truly trust and keep around for a good long while, romantic or not romantic. My ultimate goal is to build a tribe of sorts that can work together, adapt and cope with the struggles ahead of us, and finally build something wonderful that will last longer than we will.

Note: I actually live in Lake Jackson, not Houston, but I am semi-closeted because of my job.

. . .

I was raised in a small town by some very hard-core Evangelicals. I didn't really make up my mind to follow my own path until I was 22. No matter how much I see, how much I learn, how far down the alt-culture rabbit-hole I go, my original family's legacy weighs heavy on me: Unlike most religious people, despite their flaws and occasional intolerance, they are honest, well-meaning people who taught me the importance of love and showed me that personal integrity, having an ethos and truly living it, is real. The standard they set is rarely matched here in the secular world. I never "rebelled" or "reacted" to a hostile religious environment. I quietly and deliberately turned my back and walked away when I truly became an adult.

Today I am a follower of questions, of balance, a true believer only in Complexity and the astounding capacities of the human species. Order, chaos, whatever, all that matters is love/companionship/interaction/intimacy, life/warmth/sanctuary/trust, and a healthy dose of food/drink/laughter/sex/pain/music/experience.

. . .

I am a HUGE dork, in the old-school, not-hip sense of the word. Be warned.

I am poly and kinky (and a for-serious switch, since people keep asking), and only 85% straight. I am nerdy, analytical, and introverted. My straight-forward nature and dry humor ensure that when I am sarcastic, no one can tell and looks at me oddly. And when I am goofy they think I'm adorable. I like action movies, sci-fi/fantasy in the broad sense, turn-based strategy board and video games (though I have little time for them), and Joss Whedon.

I think overly much about politics and economics and love the social sciences, and I greatly respect those fileds that deal in hard data, including historiography, archeology, geography, bio-anthropology, and statistics and statistical method. These are very complicated fields, however, and I'm lazy, so in the past I've mostly stuck with history and economics. I'm also greatly concerned with infrastructure, complexity, and natural resources. I think peak oil is a huge issue.

I am subtle, quiet, and evolving.

This profile is still (always) under construction.

Extra tags I haven't worked in properly yet: BDSM, polyamory, tribe, community, anarchism, pagan, paganism ...
What I’m doing with my life
Healing, hopefully. Working part time.

I am still learning to be responsible and autonomous, learning to prioritize myself and the people I care about in a responsible manner. This is very difficult for me.

I'm writing some (not enough), and working on long-term spiritual realignment. I'm also trying to get more serious and more disciplined regarding intellectual pursuits in general.
I’m really good at
I'm not sure, but I'm "better than okay" at several things, including math, writing, remembering concepts but forgetting all hard data, philosophical abstractions, and picking apart communication and framing issues.
The first things people usually notice about me
This has improved over the years, but it's probably still how awkward I am. Also, I'm tallish and definitely lanky.

Depending on whether or not I am wearing my trademark grey cap, they notice either my premature baldness or my hat. It sounds silly, but seriously, down here in Brazosport, people comment on it all the time. If am in Midtown/Montrose though, it is suddenly completely unremarkable.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
To be honest, I might skim this section of your profile, but I probably won't even touch it. I've discovered through experience that these things, especially music (even though I love my music), usually don't effect a real relationship. Books can be traded and notes compared as you go.

I will put something for your amusement anyway. Later.
Six things I could never do without
1: Cell phone, if only because it's very important to me to be able to get in touch with the people I care about when really needed. EXCEPT I DON'T HAVE THIS ANY MORE WHAT IS HAPPENING.

2: My car. I actually HATE cars and hate driving, but, lacking any place that feels like home right now, the independence and flexibility provided by having my own car is essential. I DON'T HAVE THIS ANY MORE EITHER.

3: Notepad and pen, for whatever is important.

4: My trusty Leatherman Skeletool CX. NOPE. NO MORE KNIFE HOW HAVE I NOT BEEN EATEN?

5: Music. Well, actually, I can go a full three or four days without it, but any longer than that I slowly start to go mad.

6: Genuine Human Companionship. Just having people I can hang around and call "friends" isn't enough. I need people I can sincerely relate to and communicate with on a deeper level. I've tried going without and found myself falling apart.
I spend a lot of time thinking about

How on earth to build a sane, stable, prosperous economy with low wealth gaps and without continuous "growth" or depletion of non-renewables. No answers so far.

How so many OKC questions are impossible to answer properly if you have a complicated poly view on relationships...

How to make things happen in my life. I don't have a natural knack for it.


Ideas and abstractions of the most fundamental kind.

Sex and intimacy, and sometimes even at the same time.
On a typical Friday night I am
...relaxing at home. I usually (but not always) have work early the next morning.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm at a low point in my life, and naturally depressed. I also cope frequently with mild anxiety and dissociation. I'm trying really hard to breathe the fresh air, enjoy what I can anyway, and not to let my problems affect others. If you can't or don't wish to get involved with that in mind, I completely understand.
You should message me if
Long term: I am especially interested in people who share sex-positive, kink-positive values and who are seriously interested in the environment and community/tribe building, but who are also pragmatic and non-puritanical.

Otherwise, message me if:

If you want a friend, mostly, especially someone you can count on, really open up to, and keep around for the long-term.

I value trust, sincerity, and integrity above all things. Even more than your big sexy brain. Seeking like-minded travelers.

If you are also stuck in a small town with no one to talk to.

I'm tired of people not getting my perspective at all, so poly-friendly is greatly desired.

If you want to play games, go on a walk, exchange music, talk about economics or spirituality, or just hang out and be depressed together, message me.

Message me for any reason whatsoever, really.
The two of us