So all this has left me in a state of wondering what's best for me and if it is indeed best to start a relationship right now. But I need and want more amazing people in my life, especially people who live closer to me. So I guess more than anything, I want friends. I'm not closed to the idea of anything more but it's secondary to needing more connections with beautiful people.
So here's more actually about me.....
I play a lot of tennis (at least at this time, it's my greatest love). I'm not a sports guy in general but I love tennis and can watch and play it endlessly. But I hate sports watching culture and do not understand baseball or football at all. I just don't get the appeal.
I love music and movies and books. I've realized recently that in my depression over the past number of years, I've lost the ability to read as I used to. I miss it. I used to devour books. I'm hoping that as time goes on I will rediscover this along with my desire to mess around with musical instruments and make little things and learn and grow.
I'm insanely liberal. I would say that my belief system tends towards the revolutionary, with a bend towards the complete reformation of our social structures into something functional that will aid us in moving forward as a species. I was a big fan of Issac Asimov as a kid. This is tied in...I swear it.
I love animals but have a pretty bad arachnophobia, although not nearly as bad as it used to be. I used to volunteer with APA doing dog rescue but got too busy with other things. I've been thinking that I need to start that again. It is so rewarding and that trumps the sadness at seeing the terrible situations these dogs are in or have come out of. I'm trying to be hopeful about the world. It's hard to do.
So just to throw in some stuff about what I want in a romantic relationship, just in case....
I'm looking for a lot in a partner, but it really comes down to someone who is open and honest and aware of themselves. I love meeting smart, engaged and passionate people. But it's difficult to really pinpoint anything. So much is based on attraction and pheromones and where 2 people are at a given moment. I will find myself falling for someone terrible for me and terrible to me just because of a pheromonal connection. It's happened more times than I would like to admit. As sad as it is to say, I am yet to be with someone who really cares about me and respects me. But that just means that I have that to look forward to in the future.
I'm generally a very open person. Just ask if you have any questions.
I'm a good friend and can talk people through things and help them think and feel their way through issues. I can pull apart the world to make sense of it but the hard part is putting it back together again. Or finding a reason to in the bleakness that can overwhelm at times.
I am fairly funny and can make people laugh and feel at ease and let down their guard. I can also get others to open up to me even if they are people who usually do not open up. It's not that I'm trying to do this necessarily, but I can put people at ease where they feel safe talking openly.
Movies: So many. Kira's Reason, The Celebration, Amelie, Eternal Sunshine, Punchdrunk Love, Pi, Requiem for a Dream.
Music: Bjork, Sigur Ros, Buke & Gase, Radiohead, Blood Brothers, Shannon Wright, Olaf Arnalds, At The Drive-In, Nick Cave/Birthday Party, Murder By Death, Refused and more.
TV: The Wire, Six Feet Under, Arrested Development, In Treatment, American Horror Story, Archer, Venture Bros, Rick and Morty.
Food: Asian!!! Chinese, Thai, Vietnamese, Korean, Japanese. I love Indian. Greek/Middle Eastern. I love Dim Sum and Tappas.
Family - This one is always very complicated and messy but important nonetheless.
Friends - I have too few in Austin and need new good ones.
Music - The best thing ever!
Words & Thoughts - That's right! I'm putting these together as one thing.
Tennis - I cannot even begin to explain or understand my love of this game. I should have gone the route of trying to be a professional player.
That phrase always pops into my head. In reality, it encompasses my answer quite nicely. But to elaborate, I spend a lot of time thinking about the world and the events and problems in it. Also the fantasy of a life completely other that I can get lost in and never return to a single thing that I "Know."