28Columbus, United States
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My self-summary
First off, why are most of you super fucking creepy? Stop.

I apologize in advance for what you're about to read and I don't blame you if you stop. Major props if you get all the way through.

I'm way too long-winded in these things, so I will try to keep things succinct. (I failed- sorry if it's overwhelming. Better to find out the stuff that'll scare you off sooner than later, right?)

I also COULD make this profile fun and witty but I'd rather you learn the facts and THEN find out how cool I really am. :)

I'm self-employed and own my own business. I live at home with my parents - I'm very family-oriented and it makes financial sense as my business is located very close to my home. I'm extremely close to my family and I treasure all the time I spend with them. They're so important to me. If this is a problem to you then just walk away. I'd prefer to get involved with someone that has a good relationship with their family members. You don't have to be super tight with them, but I appreciate someone that cares a lot about their family.

I used to be a very outgoing and extroverted person, but over the past couple years I've become more of an outgoing introvert. I still have a habit of becoming overly chatty, but for the most part I've managed to calm that down a bit.

I am really bad at small talk, so if you ask me a question in a message and I answer it, you'll likely notice that I don't ask you one back.
It's not (always) because I don't want to hear about you. It's (usually) because I'm awkward.

I'm pretty pessimistic when it comes to relationships. At my age dating is really hard... you have to open yourself up to someone new and learn to trust them and risk being hurt or discovering they're a piece of shit. If I'm being completely honest, I'm terrified of that. I deserve better than that.
I'm looking for someone that will make me feel special. Make me feel like I'm one of the most important people in the world. That I'm the most beautiful person they've ever met. I don't want to be showered with attention, but I want to feel loved. But I still need that connection- we need to get along and have things in common.
I'm always worried that the type of person I want as a companion won't be the type to use a dating website- so if you feel like this is something awkward for you that's probably a good sign.

I'm not interested if you're cocky or arrogant (okay a little arrogance isn't terrible), or somehow think you're better than me. I'm also not into the hippie-granola types. It's just not my style.

Friend* Testimonials:

"This chick literally... LITERALLY drinks adrenaline and pisses diamonds. If you're looking to get thrown around the bedroom like a ragdoll, this is your girl. Before she'd even date me she said I had to pin her in the ring. Sounded kinky. In the end she let me win, probably felt sorry for me. Most of the date, though, she spent in front of the mirror flexing muttering things. I dunno, I think she named her muscles. Oh and she made me call her Thunderbird.

9 outta 10. Totally date her again. I mean who wouldn't put up with a redheads bullshit, right? Shwing!"
- Doctor Noise

"One time I asked her what her favorite recipe was so we could do a recipe exchange. She looked at me and said 'Nah, son, the only real recipe I know is for happiness in life.' I thought that was deep but didn't really answer my question. We don't have her around for recipe exchange anymore."
- Professor Pher

"I once saw her eat an entire apple."
- Bill

"This one time, this girl beat me up while singing about a Christmas tree."
- Erika

*all my friends make shit up
What I’m doing with my life
Pretending that I know what I'm doing. Actually, that's a lie. It's usually pretty obvious that I don't know what I'm doing.
I’m really good at
Being annoying. Cooking... sort of. I'm not great, but I'm not bad. Being terrible at filling out profiles.
The first things people usually notice about me
My eyes, my smile, my clumsiness, my hair.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
My current favorite show is Parks & Recreation. Just caught up with Orange is the New Black.
I also really enjoy anime. Some of my favorites are Steins;Gate, Death Parade, JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun, Psycho-Pass, Attack on Titan, Dangan Ronpa, Kuroko no Basuke, and anything by Satoshi Kon (RIP).
My other favorite television shows are Castle, New Girl, Portlandia, Orphan Black, Hannibal, Jekyll, Misfits, Dexter, Pushing Daisies, Dead Like Me, Wonderfalls, Firefly, and Twin Peaks.

As far as movies go, I tend to be most interested in psychological thrillers/horror and smart horror, especially Asian horror. Some of my favorites are American Psycho, Oldboy, The Host, Battle Royale, Memento, Shutter Island, Inception, Brazil, and many, many more. My all-time favorite might have to be Donnie Darko.

My musical tastes are quite varied. My preferences tend to shift a lot, but I tend to like a lot of 80s music, pop-rock, and electronica. Some favorite artists: 3, The Smiths, Kate Bush, CHVRCHES, Hozier, Purity Ring, Stone Temple Pilots, The Smashing Pumpkins, Fleetwood Mac, The Clash, Fiona Apple, Elvis Costello, Bee Gees, Coheed and Cambria, HIM, Nonpoint, Die Antwoord, Hoodie Allen (my current celebrity crush, if I'm being honest), Aesop Rock, Rush, Twenty One Pilots, and Jeff Buckley.
I also adore Bo Burnham.

My #1 favorite book is Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. I'm a big Harry Potter freak, so those would be at the top of my list of favorites as well. I also really love the Dark Tower series by Stephen King. Most things Neil Gaiman are great as well. I used to be a HUGE reader, but I couldn't quite find the time (or motivation) to read for fun during my last couple years in college. I really ought to pick up one of these books calling my name here sometime soon...

I love video games too, especially creepy visual novel-type games like 9 Hours 9 Persons 9 Doors and its sequel Virtue's Last reward. Also Dangan Ronpa, all BioShock games, Catherine, Ace Attorney series, and the Professor Layton series.

I love Japanese food. If you like sushi and offer to take me to a sushi place and I have interest in you, I will totally take you up on it. I also love general comfort food, and Mediterranean dishes. Not big on Indian food- I hate every kind of curry.
Six things I could never do without
Mental stimulation
My family
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Random stuff. How to improve my life.
On a typical Friday night I am
Hanging out with my family. I used to be a partier in college, but I've calmed down a lot. I like to spend time with people that take it easy. I don't mind a party now and again, but I find it more enjoyable to relax.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I have a few mental illnesses that require a decent amount of medication and self-care. I have a lot more control over my mental health than I used to, but if you are seriously turned off by someone who isn't completely stable mentally, the door's over there. I am doing well but lately I've had some pretty bad days, and sometimes I need help getting through those days. I need someone compassionate and understanding.
You should message me if
You have similar interests and are fun and (very) intelligent. As in, please don't message me if you don't consider yourself to be more intelligent than most people. Not in an asshole way, but realizing that you do have more intellectual capacity than most of your peers. It may sound picky but it's important to me. I would prefer if you're attending/have graduated from college.

You don't necessarily have to be a big geek, but some geekiness is a plus. I also prefer more mild-mannered and quiet people, so if you consider yourself very talkative or outgoing we may not click as well.

I'm really bad at initiating conversations so please talk to me first (though I'm trying to get better at it). I'll do my best to keep the convo going but if I drag off in the middle of talking- don't feel rejected- I do it all the time. I'm bad at asking questions. So if you want to keep the conversation going, please do. If I don't, I won't respond.

You aren't a total creep, and haven't messaged me before and would like to actually have decent conversations with me about some cool stuff.

Must love cats. Or at the very least, tolerate them without complaint.

Sexist? Nah, get outta here. Same with racists, homophobes, rednecks and bible-bashers. Or if you think it's okay to or have had sexual contact with someone without their consent. However if you're overly liberal I tend to get a bit overwhelmed as well. I like people that fall somewhere closer to the center.

I also reply rather selectively, be warned. Most messages get filtered out because I have it set to do that, so I may not even see yours. I apologize. If I agree to meet up with you, don't expect too much from me. I should probably try to take things slow with people in the future. We might end up just being friends, who knows.

Why do guys insist on trying to send me current pics of themselves? Why can't people have a regular conversation without turning it into something sexual? If I'm talking to you (more than just answering your question), I probably find you at least somewhat attractive. Please just talk to me about normal things. Get to know me. Don't be a fucking creep. Please.
The two of us