nestpasunprofil
53Brooklyn, United States
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nestpasunprofil
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My self-summary
This isn't a real OKC profile - it's a parody. It's here to amuse me.

[Though only "casual sex" is checked, that's by no means all I'm looking for - it's in keeping w/ the spoofy nature of this. That said, I do have some thoughts about online dating & casual liaisons at the bottom of this profile. We now return to our normally scheduled snark.]

I like long walks on the beach. Do you? Especially the ones where you get to witness a shark attack. Very romantic. Oh, and candlelit dinners. I'm equally comfortable in jeans and black tie. Or maybe I mean alienated. There must be a lot of frikkin black-tie benefits going on, that's all I can say, judging by people's profiles. Who are these people?!

I work hard and play harder. My glass is always half full. Should I buy a smaller glass?

I'm looking for that special someone, my partner in crime. What crime? I dunno. That's where you come in. I was thinking forgery, but my handwriting sucks. Anyway, like I say, I'm trying to find my soulmate, that one that can be my best friend as we share the joys and sorrows of trying to find a decent movie on Netflix or ungentrified 'hood in Brooklyn.
What I’m doing with my life
Living it to the max, baby! Like a character in a Beckett novel. Enjoying everything [fill in blank] has to offer.
I’m really good at
Space camp. No, it's true - I just dropped out b/c my professors didn't understand me. I'm such a geek!
The first things people usually notice about me
My Derridian post-colonial indeterminacy. Or my hump. It's huge!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I dunno, I'll fill this out later.

Some really hip stuff Murakami more hip stuff Radiohead Murakami hip so hip Bushwick gallery even hipper Gladwell don't call me a foodie vinyl Wes Anderson TED talks Murakami tragically hip Sedaris.
Six things I could never do without
Well, I dunno. But how about a euphemism for sex here?
I spend a lot of time thinking about
why OKC has so many questions about masturbation. What's the correlation between answering questions about wanking w/ finding someone w/ whom to have sex à deux? (Or for that matter à trois. Or à N, where N > 1.)
On a typical Friday night I am
"Typical"?! No one on OKC has typical Fridays! Generally I'm curing cancer, solving the Mid-East crisis, and kicking Putin out of Crimea. Other times I might be called in to sub at the Metropolitan Opera or do a quick spleen transplant at Lenox Hill. Although sometimes I like to just kick back w/ my iPad and a beer and show how bogus Andrew Wiles's so-called "proof" of Fermat's Last Theorem is.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Then it wouldn't be private any more!
You should message me if
you're carbon-based. And NO DRAMA, mkay?

BTW, I fibbed re my age, for search purposes. Although this isn't a real profile. Come to think of it, is any of us "real"? Aren't we just virtual scraps of performativity in the Foucaultvian panopticon - so who's counting?

Also, you'll note I checked "casual sex." When it comes to sex, I'm just not very formal. I tried sex in a tux once and, even though it's fun to say, the cummerbund got all - let us not speak of it.

[As promised, some thoughts about casual sex: It's pretty easy to find casual sex online. Much less easy to find good casual sex online, IMO. I believe that's b/c what makes a casual liaison good requires talking about some fairly unsexy things and dropping the pose of "look how cool I am" that let's face it most of us are engaged in. Things like kindness, respect, communication, humor, and the like. Even taking the time to learn what someone likes, as in olden tymes. I hardly claim to be flawless in any of these regards, but it's a mission statement, so to speak. More to come. Huh huh.]
More
The two of us
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Sex
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Lifestyle
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Dating
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Other
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Ethics
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Religion