74Richmond, United States
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My self-summary
Preliminary note: I recently noticed that in our age group (65-74) women outnumber men 100 to 86. But it seems, in talking with others, people, both male and female, tend to be less than assertive in developing new, life supporting connections. I know, I know, we're busy, tired, paying attention to our kids, grand kids, worried about the crazies out there and a million and one creative excuses for not reaching out and following up. But, trust me (well, why should you?), the rewards are well worthwhile. So jump to it and take a chance on connectedness and the possibility of you being my happily ever after love, for gambling on love is likely to prove fruitful as the payoff is beyond dreams of avarice.

BTW, I bit the bullet and became a paid member to see if it is any benefit. I'll let you know.

Caution: My profile is rather long and reading it all is not required so hop, skip and jump through it in any way that delights you. :->

Gack! I just noticed that I have answered 2500+ questions. I had no clue, I just answered them as I came across them in your profiles. There is no requirement to read all of them, truly.

So now, after all the preliminaries, I just have to laugh, it is so funny. I must be a real dog because I tried the new gimmick that OKC is doing by having people vote on your pictures and rate the one that they best think is "my best face" and it is a picture of my late dog, Nikita!

They say, "This photo of netsecurity is the ultimate face. It is superior at attracting the kinds of people netsecurity likes."

Well, she is gorgeous, I loved her dearly, and, alas, she passed away on September 30th, last year at 14 years, 4 months. She was mortal, like us all. In any case her smile might tell you something about me. Take a peek at my photo album.

Next you. Cupid has no arrows in his quiver that reached your heart? I'm so sorry. I hope you get one special delivery soon.

Meanwhile, Life is Short, Eat Dessert First, Break the Rules, Forgive Quickly, Kiss Slowly, Love Truly, Laugh Uncontrollably, And Never Regret Anything That Made You Smile.

As you read my profile and look at the questions I've answered ask yourself: Are we actually headed in two different directions and so will arrive nowhere at all?

Now me. Hmmm, shall I be totally off the wall or should I be serious? Tough choice. I'll have to think about this some more.

Anyway, on with the show. All life is but a stage, right? I'm not sure about my lines..., hey, prompter, got my script? Who's entering stage right? What're you saying? This is improv? Oh s$%^, and I'm supposed to be funny? Double s%^&*ed!

I'll get a new photo of me up here soon, well as soon as I can convince my daughter to take a flattering one of me. :)

Yes, I have a daughter, Oriana, (22 going on 32 with the attitude of a teenager!). Yes, it's crazy. Details? Ask, I have no problem explaining how a 72 year old got a 22 year old daughter. This page is about me so I won't explain now.
What I’m doing with my life
Being on the BoD of a small credit union, and now the president, volunteering at a local mental health organization to help them meet current HIPAA & HITECH Act compliance requirements, learning new skills and surviving these trying times. I do computer upgrades and solve security problems as part time work. Fixing up my home and sorting out the accumulation of my stuff and the leftovers from my parents. Working on settling the affairs of my recently deceased mother as well as sorting out her nearly 50 year accumulation of stuff and learning the ropes for managing two trusts. And helping my 22 year old daughter figure out what she wants and what path she is going to take in the relatively near term. Doing the daily chores. You know, the fun stuff of life. ;->
I’m really good at
Figuring out and fixing things. A friend said: "He'll see something's not working and offer to fix it, whether it's something in the house or in the relationship."

For example, a lot of people here at OKC have complained that there is no easy way to contact them. Here is the solution - although they will hate it because it will go to their domain administrators, but that might get them to set up a regular contact mechanism - e-mail them at:

Thinking things through. Wordplay and bad jokes such as: Grammar: Knowing there is no there there, that it is not their there, and that they're not there. (With apologies to Gertrude Stein)

TIP: It is generally thought that pairing with someone who is similar to you makes for a more stable relationship so looking for a high % match and a low % enemy is a good idea. However OKC's ratings should not be your only guideline as the answers to many questions do not allow for variability or different points of view.

One way of helping you find those people is to use the "Browse Matches" function. Put in your criteria in the top and then search, but if you make the criteria too restrictive you won't get any profiles to look at. Browse down the page and use the "hide" function to eliminate those that appear to be not a good fit. (Right click on the interesting ones and open them in a new tab so you won't lose your place in the search.) If you do this a number of times you will find that the matches suggested will get closer to what you are looking for. Give it a try!
The first things people usually notice about me
My smile, and I hope soon, a new puppy. Samoyeds are so damn cute you'll want to cuddle it to death, and they like it. 😆
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
It's a looong list, not all of which I can think of at the moment so I will keep adding over time.
Movies: My new, probably all time favorite, is "Boyhood." Stunningly good and so simple. You'll miss a great chance for joy if you don't see it. "Wild Tales," "I'll See You In My Dreams," don't miss it! "Me and Earl and the Dying Girl, " one of the very few films about teenagers where they are not dumbed down, "Cloud 9," "Shop on Main Street," "Birchwood," "Run, Come See," "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel," "The Rocket," "The Missing Picture" by Rithy Panh. "Rashomon," "Ikiru" "Dersu Uzala," "Dodes'ka-den," "Shadows of our Forgotten Ancestors," "Closely Watched Trains."
Books: "My Traitor's Heart" by Rian Malan, "Me, Myself and Why," "Secret Daughter," "The Sorrow of War," "The Swallows of Kabul" by Yasmina Kadhar, "Eat, Pray, Love," "No Contest - The Case Against Competition" by Alfie Kohn, "Those Who Save Us," "The True Story of Hansel and Gretel," "The Kommendant's Secretary," all of Henning Mankell's Kurt Wallander series, especially the latest, "The Troubled Man." Michio Kaku's "Visions - How Science Will Revolutionize the 21st Century." Written in 1997 it's fun to re-read and see how true many of his predictions have already come to pass. "A Woman in Berlin," by Anonymous. "Crossing to Safety," by Wallace Stegner, "Guns, Germs, and Steel" and "Collapse" by Jared Diamond... also anything by Malcolm Gladwell. "Down and Out in Paris and London," "The Road to Wigan Pier," "Homage to Catalonia," all by George Orwell, as well as "Burmese Days," "Animal Farm," "Nineteen Eighty-Four."
Shows: TV? What's that? I hardly ever watch TV so have no favorites. In fact I hate commercials to the point I don't even bother to watch broadcast TV. The one sort of exception to this - and I sometimes just listen while doing other things - has been watching Al Jaazera shows on my computer. They have a satellite company channel so I guess it counts as TV but I don't have cable or satellite reception. Great news coverage around the world and truly wonderful, inspiring documentaries; however their new US satellite broadcast station has dumbed the regular news shows down to the point it is unwatchable, at least for me.
Let's not forget plays: Tom Stoppard's "The Coast of Utopia" three play series. Dario Fo's "The Accidental Death of an Anarchist."
Music: World, ethnic, some electronica, Leonard Cohen, Dori Previn, Joni Mitchell, Givan Gasparian, Enya, Abioni's Adagio in G minor, Vivaldi.
Food: Ethnic, imaginative, Indian, Thai, Vietnamese, Chinese, Pakistani, Algerian, Greek, chutney, sweet and sour tastes, oh, dear..., a favorite restaurant is Bacheesos in Berkeley, especially the Friday night buffet. Great food. Another favorite is Indus, a Pakistani restaurant whose bengan bhartha is truly wonderful. What is really great about Indus is that it is as close to home cooking as I think it is possible for a restaurant to get. It is never exactly like the last time, just like when you cook at home and you spice by eye and taste. One day a little more this and the next a little more that.

(much more to come over time)
Six things I could never do without
Books, coffee, challenging conversation, joy, hope, connectedness, kindness, cuddling, and much, much more. (Am I allowed more than 6?)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The world around us and what can I think of that might improve it. I am fascinated by language and word play.

And a whole lot more. Ask.
On a typical Friday night I am
Who knows? Want to find out? Drop me a note.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
You'd have to ask, wouldn't you? Shhhh.
You should message me if
Please note that I am not rigid about the age range. OKC doesn't allow any non-standard wording in what I'm looking for so I'm putting it here.

You feel adventuresome and want an intelligent, challenging and, on occasions, wacky conversation. Here are a few other reasons you might find desirable:

I'll answer all of your calls - if I'm not driving
I'll listen when you talk
I'll give you flowers
You don't know anyone else like me
I won't take you for granted
I'm so done with my ex
I won’t bite unless you want me to
You’re safe with me
I don't panic easily
I understand change is normal
I'm not always right and I know it
I'll do my best to make you laugh
I’m kind to animals
I do things for others because they need to be done - for example, should we meet and you desire it I'll take a flattering picture of you for you to use on your profile.
And, if we get that far, I'll frequently serve you a latte (or your beverage of choice), along with your breakfast, in bed in the morning.

On another issue, just to clear the air, if you were to maintain your profile on OKC, were we to become "a thing" it probably would have bothered me 30+ years ago, but now given these uncertain times it can be one way to increase your community of friends so I say, go right ahead.

From my perspective men seem to become more conservative (and they watch too much sports on the boob tube (I didn't inherit the sports fan gene.) as they age so I feel more distance and find it harder to connect with other men for friendship. Not good but it is what it is.

Women, on the other hand, don't seem to become more conservative, just more compassionate and considerate. At our age, me 72, this is what we need most in life. Sex, love, and all that are wonderful but we also need the strong friendships that can develop. This is what I look for in community and what I hope to find with you, both friend and partner.

Times and needs change so I don't see myself in competition with other men for your affection. You rule your heart, not me. Be with me because you desire to be.

I understand it's hard for you to tell much from profiles, even with 20 gazillion questions and answers and the crazy way OKCupid ranks answers. OKC's question structure is strange and I don't really understand it. It marks some things "irrelevant" when in fact they are not; there is just no way to give a more accurate answer that would explain my thinking better.

For example the question: "Could you date someone related to someone responsible for heinous acts? For example, if he or she was the sibling of a convicted serial killer or descendent of a Nazi war criminal?" It is not irrelevant even though OKC rates it that way because I'm willing to accept all of the possible answers. My explanation, "Again, OKC ranks this complex question as "Irrelevant" because I'm willing to accept any of the answers as potentially acceptable." I am more than willing to let a person stand on their own merits and not pre-judge them because they had no choice in who their siblings or parents were.

I find photos help, being a visually oriented person. Sometimes with a natural photo and the right creativity in the profile there is that certain zing that comes from fresh from the sea fish or corn cooked in the field. When that happens, it's time for me to revisit your profile to see if it is still there a second time around.

I do have a quirk, being analytical by nature, in that when I look at a profile I look to see where we disagree first. It gives me a better sense of how we might fit, or not, together. Then I look at the rest of your answers to develop a more rounded view of who I think you are, but I know I am not right all the time so I always throw in a fudge factor in your favor. This, of course, supposes that you have answered a sufficient number of questions such that I can get a rounded picture of you. If your profile says you are 0% Match and 0% Enemy, tell me, are you really there? (Wasn't that a BeeGees song?) I probably won't attempt to contact you unless you have a couple of hundred questions you've answered. Hard enough just to go on what one says about one's self as we often fail to see ourselves for who we are. Recent studies validates that we all tend to have our head in the clouds a bit when it comes to seeing our true selves in the fun house mirrors of life.

Perfection is not required by any means, I just don't want you to waste your time when it seems likely to not be a good fit. What I hate is meeting someone for the first time over coffee and the conversation is one sided with the other person is staring over your left shoulder out the window, unless there is a fire or some other fascinating event.

A good note will go a long way toward opening possibilities that can't really be covered by answers to sometimes dumb questions. "Are clams alive?" As I say, not in my soup, I hope. :)

Can't think of much else to wish for except wanting to hear from you, whomever you are. Write me, I don't have rabies, I don't bite (hard) and I always (double your money back guaranteed) reply with a kind word or two. You game?
The two of us