34Baltimore, United States
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My self-summary
Very important facts:

I'm told I have little to no control over my facial expressions.

I've never made microwave popcorn and am really reluctant to do so. I love it, but if I give in, I'll never get that streak back. Which is stupid because who cares.

The weather has such an effect on my mood. I can't get enough sunny springtime and on a nice day, I'll mention how nice it is at least 32 times.

I have an overactive conscience and almost always give people the benefit of the doubt.

I've punched my grandmother in the head. Twice.

My pinky finger is permanently crooked from numerous football injuries, and it really bothers me. I'm always tempted to try to squash it straight.

My least favorite word in the entire world starts with an F and ends with A-R-T. But I kind of love cursing.

I'm always wildly uncomfortable having my picture taken.

I'd rather be barefoot.

I'm addicted to chapstick and gum, and I find Orbit wrappers EVERYWHERE.

My proudest moment may have been volunteering to lead the Eagles chant that a DJ was about to start in a Jersey bar... and then singing "Hail to the Redskins" into the mic instead. If someone asks me what my proudest moment has been, I will never say this. Not sure who goes around asking about proudest moments, but just in case.

I sometimes have trouble communicating with people who aren't sarcastic.
What I’m doing with my life
Appreciating the beauty and pure absurdity that surround us daily.
I’m really good at
injuring myself in unusual ways, giggling, and being awkward.

These were conceived as separate thoughts but actually occur in sequence prettttyyyy often.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
There's always money in the banana stand.
You should message me if
you appreciate dry and sometimes quirky humor, you're intellectually curious, you're able to enjoy yourself at least a little bit in most situations, and you genuinely care about the well-being of others.
The two of us