32Mangilao Municipality, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
I can recall once when i was only a toddler. I was thirsty and wanted my mother to refill my teething bottle. I had to have been no older than 3 but the memory is etched into my head as if it were a scene from a movie. So she's washing the dishes and I'm tugging her pant leg for her attention. She's busy and pretty much ignoring me so i'm looking around hoping to some how find my own thirst quenching substance. I'm not sure what was in the teething bottle before I emptied it, but i'm assuming it was milk because I turned around and seen this gallon jug of milk sitting on the kitchen floor. It was uncapped and kind of hidden from view, somewhere underneath a chair or some other butt resting object. So i decide right then and there i'm getting that milk. I run over to it, and lifted that gallon like the it was Excalibur's sword and I was the chosen one. I reached with both hands and picked that bottle up and before the milk could sink into my taste buds I heard "SHIT!!! NO, NO, Noooo!" and my body proceeded to be slung around like a rag doll in a rag doll slinging contest. My mother then pour an ungodly amount of water all over my face and i was forced to drink the milk i originally wanted from the fridge in a quantity that could probably kill Vin Diesel. Now my memory at this point is kind of shaky but I do know that I was force fed milk, water, and orange juice until the point were I felt as if my mother was trying to drown me. I was literally gasping for air in between swallows. Random family members showed up (memory too fuzzing to remember who) and it seemed as if everyone was frantically trying to stop her (My mother lived upstairs in a two family flat and my grandparents lived downstairs which explains why they were even around). I didn't realized that the milk underneath the chair/butt-support was not milk at all. It was bleach. My first brush with death happen very young and I learned a valuable lesson that day. I have to be patient for the good milk cause the easy and fast milk was put there to kill ya. Lmao.
P.S. This is a True Story
Hi,i'm Will but close friends of mine just call me Narley. Hence the name Narley. You probably want to know where i got the name from but if i tell you now then that will just be one less thing we have to talk about if you are good Milk. Okay let me get the deal breakers out of the way. I have my own everything. Money, car, apartment, job, and what ever else that will make your shallow self stop reading. Trust me. But that's superficial so who really cares right? Well i like weird things like Adele's voice (you can hear the soul in her voice), battle rap, learning a new language on Rosetta Stone, and drawing silly characterizations of people's personalities. I record stupid corny love videos (Stop reading and YOUTUBE NARLEY SOULMATE) and would probably build a snow man just so i could drop kick it (if we ever date remind me to do that) I'm in the military and have seen and been to places most people dream about but that's definitely stories to be told after i meet the good milk.
Okay, okay, for some strange reason i'm only getting of lot of "whats wrong with you?" (me) questions. I'm single cause i'm picky and i want the grade A vitamin D whole milk like fresh off of the farm. Not to say that it cant be flawed but if you are a woman and you're reading this far down then you're probably picky too. And i'm sure you said no to 456 of the 457 request to date you so far, even though one of those could have been the good milk, but just didn't present himself that way. And by picky i mean picky! (Im not into big women... SORRY but i workout and eat right hardcore everyday and cant date someone who doesnt take that serious). If you wouldnt do situps with me every morning then im not for u. However, if you will then the back of your milk cartoons says D.
* i've read alot of these profiles and its really just complaints about what not to message a woman. Well message me anything you want but i definitely respond better to a since of humor. Probably wont date you if you don't have one. I usually respond no matter what but i'm not sitting on my Android phone waiting for a message to come in so don't get mad if it take up to a week to hear from me and shame on your face for disturbing my angry bird in mid flight! DAMN IT!!! I do have a job and a life. Ohh, and i body build also so if you don't like muscles don't message me just to tell me that. Well you can message me, but make it funny if you going to tell me that.
***********Now if you have been reading this far, It's time to have fun with Narley. Here you go****************
Dating sites are a trip. They make me laugh cause it's the same song and dance no matter which way you look at it. Boy searches for Girl. Boys see's attractive pic. Boy messages Girl "Hey cutie!". Girl looks at boys profile. Girl likes pictures but not profile. Girl takes offence about "cutie remark." Girl deletes message. Plenty other variations of the sort but the best one is Boy messages girl amazing thoughtful message. Girl loves message. Girl reads profile and falls in love with profile. Girl sees Boys Picture. Girl deletes message. I even got one better than that. Boy does everything right. Girl likes message, pictue, profile. Girl and boy Chat. Girl likes boy and ask him to hang out sometime. Boy inbox's Girl his #. Girl deletes message. LMAO.
I think I'm going to made a board game that encompasses all of the rules of engagement of these sites. Yeah.. Sounds like a great idea. If you are reading this (it's interesting and you know it!) you should help.
The goal is the convince the female that you are a awesome catch and that she can build a intellectual, financial, physical and emotional bond with you without even seeing or talking to you in person.
* Move 2 paces if you have a profile pics that say you are attractive but are not full or yourself.
* Move 6 paces if you come you read the her profile and was able to articulate a greeting that including personal information about her without getting looks involve and was virtually impossible to not respond to.
* Move 20 paces if you are able to make her laugh without offending her (good luck! you gonna need it)
* Move 7 paces if you discover her passion and are able to do your research and tell her some Thangy Thang Thangs!
* FOUL if you use a pet name (GO BACK TO START)
* FOUL if you mention sex prematurely (GO BACK TO START)
* FOUL if your picture implicated that you knew you were the shit! (DESTROY THE ENTIRE BOARD- Your a douche)
* FOUL if your make a sarcastic remark about her profile and you do not follow that with an proper LOL.
* FOUL if you use LOL after ever freaking sentence. LOL (Proceed to a new table game. Perhaps Russian Roulette)
Unfortunately OKC only allows you to write so much
What I’m doing with my life
Working for the Navy! Teaching, and trying out this bodybuilding thing
I’m really good at
Making the best out of any situation I'm in.. Technically I have only been on one bad date because I refuse to be the one to not enjoy myself but, there is one girl that made me have a bad date... Ask me out it when we talk
The first things people usually notice about me
The fact that my muscles inhibit my ability of having a NECK!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I'm not even sure what my favorite is anymore
Six things I could never do without
laughter, laughter, funny movies, laughter, funny movies, and money
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm a little self-conscience about how i look so i work out a lot.
You should message me if
If you are a female interested in a friend, dating, serious relationship, chat, or just have a question
The two of us