Words on a page: Junot Diaz, David Sedaris. Obsessive Vulture/NYMag reader. Required reading (or viewing, I suppose if you prefer TED talks) for everyone on the planet should include We Should All Be Feminists, and if this is your first exposure to that title, then at least this profile serves some purpose!
Words with people emoting (longform): Singing in the Rain, Keeping the Faith, Do The Right Thing. (I studied film in college, and am currently working my way through the AFI Top 100. I like movies.)
Words with people emoting (shortform): The West Wing is my comfort TV. You're The Worst, Transparent, the same wrapped-prestige dramas we're all still talking about.
Words with melodies: Ella Fitzgerald, The Avett Brothers, The Lone Bellow, most indie/folk/rock/alternative/jazz.
Not words, but sometimes better: Grilled Cheese, bourbon-based beverages, and a serious Diet Coke addiction.
2. Chocolate buttercream frosting.
3. Entertainment--books, theatre, film, music, tv.
4. A moral compass.
5. A literal compass--i.e.: Google maps.
You want to go bowling or head to a trivia night.
You like to laugh and consider yourself to be a generally decent person.
You believe in communicating openly and honestly, even though that's not always comfortable, and rarely enjoyable (or are willing to listen and engage with someone who believes that).
Or you know, if you want to.