34 Saint Paul, United States
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My self-summary
My best friend's wife often says that I'm going to make an excellent wife for someone someday. I assume it's a compliment, but I'm a little uncomfortable about the implied gender norms of that statement because it's usually in response to domestic prowess. The last time they visited, I did spend a couple of hours cooking for them. But hey, if you're looking for a wife and want to help me not eat the same leftovers every day for a week, then maybe you should message me.

But we need to get our story straight, because if we say we met in a coffee shop, it's going to get real awkward when they find out I don't drink coffee. So lets say we met when I tried to enlist your cat in the impending class-war, and our first date was at the Harry Potter fan fiction seminar. No one will suspect a thing!
What I’m doing with my life
tl;dr Former math teacher, future corporate sell-out.

I had this great gig teaching math-y stuff at a performing arts charter school, but I've decided that after almost 10 years in education, the profession just doesn't love me. It's a long, sordid tale about the sinking ship that is the American educational system. (Got a few hours??) Entering this new phase of my career, I'm planning on selling out to the private sector. I've never been all about the Benjamins, Lincolns, and Reagans (whenever they make them) but maybe actually having some scratch will be nice for a change. Who knows? I fully expect in another 10 years I'll be so sick of corporate America that I'll be living in a yurt somewhere raising goats. Oh, maybe I shouldn't say that on a dating website. Is goat smell a turn-off?

It's pretty sad that my (maybe last) free summer is coming to a close. But I think I spent it well! Just me, my nice new(ish) car and the open road. Let me tell you, I-70 west of Denver is 200 miles of heaven. Or at least that's what I thought until I got to the Columbia River Gorge. Good lord.
I’m really good at
I slay at Mario Kart.
The first things people usually notice about me
Random person: "How tall are you?"
Me: "Very."
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
So I like cooking, but I don't want to make it sound like I'm some kind of restaurant quality sous-chef. I just make a mean pot of chili, know what I'm saying? Got this honey ginger chicken stir fry I really like. My pork roast is praiseworthy. I've made egg rolls from scratch a couple of times. I ain't no kitchen nazi, I just crank up some tunes, bust a few memorized rhymes, throw down some face melting air-guitar, cuss a little, and fake looking like I know what I'm doing. A little dinner-theater for your entertainment.

But I'm not using any tomatoes, they're gross. They aren't fit for human consumption unless you add bacon (a BLT is fine) or you process that shit. There's that cussing I was talking about.
The six things I could never do without
The six degrees of separation between me and Kevin Bacon.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The highlight of my summer was a 13-day road trip to Portland, with stops in Denver, Salt Lake City, Missoula, and Bismarck. The driving between stops gave me plenty of time to think about the sense of loneliness and depression seeping through the human condition of the rural American west. I'd love to decompress my experiences, if you're the type to enjoy deep conversations about culturally important ideas.

On the other hand, I often wonder why every book store puts the science fiction section opposite the romance novels. Is this some kind of hint?
On a typical Friday night I am
My typical Friday night is game night, so... I think I'll just talk about non-gaming related things I like to do on non-fridays.

I own a kayak. I'm mostly into calm lake and river kayaking and not so much whitewater stuff. Unfortunately I have nowhere to store it... If I had a better place to store it, I would probably use it literally every day and I'd never get anything else done, so maybe it's for the best. I also own a mountain bike, which I could technically store in my apartment but I don't. That one is slops on me. I do "yoga" frequently, although usually just by myself, and I don't know if you can really call it yoga. I took a few classes back in the day, watched a few videos and added some of my own stuff. I also like taking walks in various parks around the metro... the more wooded and secluded the better.

I really want to go to the zoo. Or the science museum. Or MIA. Or Walker. Or Twins games. Or get any kind of culture, really.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
When I was 12-ish, my favorite TV show was Sailor Moon. That show was a formative experience; Sailor Moon was very clearly "for girls" but yet I loved it. Probably had something to do with cute girls literally fighting monsters, how is that not awesome?? Even though I was already kind of aware of this, it really hammered home the idea that gender-based marketing is a bunch of crap. (In case you're wondering, Sailor Jupiter was my favorite.)
You should message me if think this idea sounds amazing: want to go hunting pokemon and/or you won't make fun of me for playing Pokemon. Or even if you will make fun of me, I'm a big boy, I can take it. I can also dish, so check yourself before, well, you know.

...if you can tell me a good story.

I really want to give a semi-public shout out to a number of 45-55 year old women who have messaged me recently saying that they really liked reading my profile and that they think I will find someone awesome! Gosh, that's so sweet! Thank you!!