34 Saint Paul, United States
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My self-summary
My best friend's wife often says that I'm going to make an excellent wife for someone someday. I'm a little uncomfortable about the implied gender norms of that statement, buuuut I did spend a couple of hours cooking for them when they last came to visit. I just assume its a compliment. Now that I think about it, the biggest benefit of having a significant other is that I don't have to eat the same leftovers every day for a week. Maybe you can help me with that?

But then, we'd need to get our story straight, because if we say we met in a coffee shop, it's going to get real awkward when they find out I don't drink coffee. So lets say we met when I tried to enlist your cat in the impending class-war, and our first date was at the Harry Potter fan fiction seminar. No one will suspect a thing!
What I’m doing with my life
tl;dr Former math teacher, future corporate sell-out.

I had this great gig teaching math-y stuff at a performing arts charter high school, but I've decided that after almost 10 years in education, the profession just doesn't love me. (It's a long, sordid tale about the sinking ship that is the American educational system... Got a few hours??) So I'm planning on selling out in the private sector to make money for a change. We'll see how that works out. I fully expect in another 10 years I'll be so sick of corporate America that I'll be living in a yurt somewhere raising goats.

I'm currently on my last act as a teacher with a summer vacation: A two week road trip across the western United States. Let me tell you, I-70 west of Denver is 200 miles of heaven.
I’m really good at
I'm absolutely sick at Mario Kart.
The first things people usually notice about me
Random person: "How tall are you?"
Me: "Very."
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
This is my Media Consumption Theory: One should only consume media after it has left the collective short-term memory.

Hyperbole is a thing the internet does. Something is either the awesomest thing ever, it sucks beyond belief, or it gets the "hipster meh." Better to wait for the collective to work out all the drama, fully digest media, and filter out the chaff to find the hidden gems. There is simply too much media to consume and not enough time to enjoy it. I don't have time to become extremely invested and then disappointed *cough* LOST. *cough* I don't have time to invest in movies or music that will be irrelevant in 6 months. That's what media consumption is: an emotional investment. Disappointment is emotional betrayal. As I write this, I realize I am describing is the essential characteristic of nerditivity.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I just finished a 13-day road trip to Portland, with stops in Denver, Salt Lake City, Missoula, and Bismarck. I had a lot of time to think.

What came to mind frequently, especially on the second half of the trip through northern Idaho, Montana and North Dakota, was how, despite the incredible beauty of the mountain west, there was a sense of loneliness and depression seeping through the human condition. You drive through these towns (as through as you can going 80 on the freeway,) and you see basically motels, fast food, truck stops, casinos, and the occasional Delightfully Tacky, Yet Unrefined restaurant serving hot brown, cold yellow, and outdated gender norms. No way up. The way out is 200 miles down the road, maybe. And I'm just some outsider city kid spending six bucks for a meal just barely scratching the surface.

I want to decompress this experience...

I'm going where there's no depression, to a better land that's free from care. I'll leave this world of toil and trouble, my home's in heaven, I'm going there. (Major, major bonus points if you know what this is from.)
On a typical Friday night I am
My typical Friday night is game night, so... I think I'll just talk about non-gaming related things I like to do on non-fridays.

I own a kayak. I'm mostly into calm lake and river kayaking and not so much whitewater stuff. Unfortunately I have nowhere to store it... If I had a better place to store it, I would probably use it literally every day and I'd never get anything else done, so maybe it's for the best. I also own a mountain bike, which I could technically store in my apartment but I don't. That one is slops on me. I do "yoga" frequently, although usually just by myself, and I don't know if you can really call it yoga. I took a few classes back in the day, watched a few videos and added some of my own stuff. I also like taking walks in various parks around the metro... the more wooded and secluded the better.

I really want to go to the zoo. Or the science museum. Or MIA. Or Walker. Or Twins games. Or get any kind of culture, really.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I have no idea how to take a selfie. Every time I look at myself on the screen, I think, "I look like a doofus," and then put my phone away without snapping the picture.
You should message me if think this idea sounds amazing: want to go hunting pokemon but won't make fun of me for being scrub-tier level 8.