32Minneapolis, United States
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My self-summary
If I'm being honest, which you'll never know because we've never met, my whole life has been school for a while. I work in a college and I just finished my masters so between work and school, everything was school. Which I liked. I like school, and I like my job.

I have a dog, and friends; we exchange friendly gossip over beers (my friends and I. My dog doesn't talk... Even though I wouldn't be surprised if he can speak but he's just saving it for an awesome surprise for my birthday). I like to try new things, and I travel a lot with work. I think that having a good story is a better quality than being able to make "good" decisions; I am regularly able to do both though. I always appreciate not being murdered, which makes me a skittish online dater. That, and the fact that I prefer to not live in the closet where you will keep me and occasionally feed me table scraps, and I only put lotion on my skin when I can do so of my own volition. Just kidding. I've never met you, but if I'm being honest, you seem great.

I’m always very funny, but sometimes only to me.

I'm looking to spend time with someone who could mean something to me. Please don't message me if you are looking for a sex buddy or an instant wife... We won't be on the same wavelength.
What I’m doing with my life
Your mom.

I am always following the time tested philosophy of life: "Gas, ass or grass: nobody rides for free!"

I like to make up words and then fliselate them into a conversation to see if anyone notices. Not only do I get a fun joke, but people think that I am smart!
I’m really good at
Telling long, boring, pointless stories that aren't necessarily connected in any way to the conversation they interrupt.

Being incredibly snotty and stuck up about things that other people look down on me for.

Knowing more than you about Star Wars.

Being very VERY serious all the time. Jk... But for real.
The first things people usually notice about me
I totally look like this girl you know.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
My favorite food is everything... except for McDonald's pickles..seriously... why are they see-through?!? yuck yuck yuckity yuck. I'm currently hungry for spaghetti. Like... while writing this... It will probably have passed by the time you get here... I bet by then I will be hungry for BBQ potato chips or string cheese.

If given the chance I will always play Hanson's Mmmbop or Spice Girls (ANYTHING) on the jukebox at the bar.

Basically every movie I see is on my iPhone screen... So I guess you could say I'm something of a cinefile.

I love tv. If you say you don't I think you're a liar... Or a douche... Or both.
Six things I could never do without
Rain drops on roses, whiskers on kittens, brown paper packages tied up with strings and whiskey...
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Whose job is it to make sure that the ketchup dispenser puts out the perfect amount for that paper cup?

Why does no one else talk about the fact that Orion is the best hung constellation: naked, hands flung in the air- forever streaking across the sky?
On a typical Friday night I am
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I think that Steve from Blue's Clues is super hot!
You should message me if
You know a really funny joke.

... or you have a habit of not knowing when you are the butt of one. I like those types too.
The two of us