26Reston, United States
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My self-summary
I wear pink every Wednesday (seriously). If you don't know why, then we can't be friends....

I can make just about anyone laugh in any circumstance and have the quickest wit of anyone you'll ever meet. I rarely take myself seriously, and the perfect word to describe me is "snarky."

I am also almost certainly better at trivia/Jeopardy than you. Some people use the space in their brain for useful things; I use it to remember what triskaidekaphobia is.

Seriously though, I'm a caring, funny, witty person that believes that if you think chivalry is dead, then you're just hanging with the wrong people.

One last thing...I'm in a wheelchair if you couldn't tell. If that's an issue, I understand. I mean, you kinda suck, but I understand :P
What I’m doing with my life
Used to work in sales for a tech company and wasn't really about that life. Now I'm tutoring kiddos for the SAT while I figure out what's next.
I’m really good at
I'm very witty and can make anyone laugh. I also use jokes to avoid awkwardness. Essentially, Chandler from FRIENDS is my spirit animal.

I also have impeccable grammar due to my 2 years as editor of my college newspaper, but that's not nearly as sexy as you'd think.
The first things people usually notice about me
I've been told I have beautiful eyes. People have been known to get lost in them ...too cheesy?

Also, my hair is beautiful. In fact, I've heard the word "immaculate" used on several occasions. Technically, I was the one that said it, but that's irrelevant as far as I'm concerned.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I watch far too much tv, including: Suits, Psych, Archer, New Girl, himym, Scrubs, Friends, Family Guy, South Park, White Collar, Always Sunny, That 70s Show, The League, Arrow, Flash... The list goes on and on.

Anchorman, Zoolander, Men In Black, American Pie 2, Happy Gilmore, Remember the Titans, Fight Club, Boondock Saints, Die Hard...also, most disney movies, mean girls and legally blonde (my guilty pleasures)

Regarding books, I read a lot of non-fiction, primarily about sports. I'm also a huge believer that if you're of our generation and don't list Harry Potter here, it means you're illiterate.

My taste in music fluctuates, but it is primarily country and '90s rock. I do listen to some rap and way more cheesy pop music than I'd care to admit.
Six things I could never do without


Panda Cam ... Feel free to judge. Pandas are adorable.



Harry Potter
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How to game the OKCupid system so that it shows me as a 100% match with everyone

Also, why so many girls mention the "Oxford comma" in their profile. I love correct grammar/punctuation as much as the next person, but if you list it as one of your six things, that's weird.
On a typical Friday night I am
story of my Friday nights right here:
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm actually way more down to earth and humble than I appear. What can I say, I have a good heart, but it's way funnier to pretend I'm a character in Zoolander.

Also, I broke my neck diving into the ocean when I was 16, and that's why I'm in said wheelchair. It's not awkward to ask about...I'm completely cool with it.
You should message me if
You are interested in someone that can make you laugh even when you're crying, who is always up for a night out and is guaranteed to be loved by your parents.

Based on every chick flick I've ever been forced to watch, I feel like I meet just about every qualification for being a "catch" outside of looking like Ryan Gosling.

A final note: If we go out and I like you, I'm going to tell you; if I don't think there's a connection, I'm not going to just "go dark" on you — a habit our generation has gotten into that I think is disrespectful. I don't play "games" because I'm old enough to know that they're stupid and that's how people get hurt/waste their time. I would hope that you do the same.
The two of us