Through this site I have met two lovely men and am still living with my partner. And I've decided that I am not looking for any more 'dates'. There are only so many hours in the day, you know!
I am leaving my profile here though as I love this site - I've made some really good friends all over the world - and it seems this is the only place I do any writing!
And I'm still happy to message people - if there's something in my profile you want to chat about - feel free to message me.
This profile is work in progress . . . (as is my life!)
I got here through a polyamory website - it's an area I'm exploring - mainly because my partner is now a transgender woman - and whilst we are currently still in a relationship - I am looking for something more.
Friendship is a good thing to start with. People to talk to and exchange views/ideas with. People to ask me difficult questions - that's always helpful when you're trying to work out what you want - and why you want it!
And after being on here for a couple of weeks and having had to explain what I'm looking for - I have this to add: I know what I don't want - I don't want a big one on one romance - I don't need it now and I'm not sure I believe in it. I just want to make friends with guys and see a few and keep seeing those I want to. I'm not looking for an exclusive relationship - just some good friends with whom I can have fun!
And another thing I've learned - communication is very important to me - it's very hard to become good friends with someone when they are uncommunicative.
And (on a roll here) being open and honest with relationships - to me that's what polyamory is all about. And for me personally it doesn't mean I want to just have sex with random people. I want to have open and honest relationships -and with my partners' partners (should they exist) all being aware of the situation. No hiding stuff.
I am restless, adventurous, and getting sorted
I help run a mobile cinema, I go to a Book Group and a Creative Writing Group - all within the beautiful Lake District Valley I live in.
I am trying to take control of my personal life - and not simply 'go with the flow'. And as a huge part of that - I went to Ireland to meet up with a guy from this very site! Flew all by myself (first time) and then spent a whole week with a really lovely guy. And then went back again for more! And now he's coming over here in March . . . looks like a keeper!
Writing erotic fiction.
Being a good friend.
Asking a question and then not listening to the answer.
Stating the obvious.
My style tends to the 'Bohemian' - I couldn't do 'graceful and elegant' to save my life!
I'm humming tunelessly perhaps . . .
Currently reading: La Bete Humaine by Emile Zola - a Book Group choice - that I must start reading NOW! As we shall be discussing it on the 21st July :)
Small Gods by Terry Pratchett
Set a long time before any other of his books that I've read, Small Gods is a stand alone story and tells of the Omnian religion and as you might expect has much to say about religion and religious people. The God Om at this time is much reduced in standing and can only manage to appear in the form of a tortoise and only one person can hear what he says – the one true believer in Om – a naive young novice Brutha. The God has some trouble convincing Brutha that he is indeed his God and their developing relationship is nicely written. The book is as funny as his other books and I'm getting used to his sense of humour. I'm an atheist and I did agree with a lot of the satirical things he says.
I wish I had taken note of the page – because there was an excellent quote – but I shall paraphrase. He said something like people get so carried away with practicing their religion that they forget all about the God itself and all that is left are the structures of the religion itself. This brought to mind the Quakers – who deliberately limit the 'structures' in order to concentrate on their God – and whose numbers I would be among, if I believed in God.
Terry Pratchett also says in the book that Gods cease to exist if no-one believes in them; which I like the idea of. I do like the way Pratchett manages to make contemporary social commentary using fantasy set in a very different world.
Films most recently watched: Limitless - I actually went to real cinema to see this! Paid £7.60 too! An interesting idea - but it was SO typically American - if you could use 100% of your brain, rather than the usual 20% - and the world is your oyster - what do you do? Make lots of money and then go into politics! So unimaginative!
The Third Man - by Carol Reed - screenplay written by Graham Green. This was shown as part of Ulverston's WordMarket Festival and we had Dr Alan Sennett from the OU to introduce it and lead a discussion afterwards. I like the film but I do tend to drift off a little bit in the middle. I was interested to hear Dr Sennett's theory that Holly Martins represents America, Anna the German nation and Harry Lime Fascism - I love ideas like that.
Films and directors I particularly like:
The Doom Generation - directed by Gregg Araki
Torch Song Trilogy - starring the wonderful, gravel voiced Harvey Fierstein
Dogs In Space - a brilliant Australian film starring Michael Hutchence
Films by David Lynch, David Cronenberg, John Cameron Mitchell, Pedro Almodovar, John Waters
Scissor Sisters live :) Excellent show!
Saw Paloma Faith in October - she was excellent! Amazing voice and wonderful stage set.
Went to see The Archie Bronson Outfit recently - they were great - the sound quality was not!
Current bed-time listening: Moby Play
Chilled Ibiza compilation
The Archie Bronson Outfit - Coconut
Imelda May - Mayhem
Hercules & Love Affair
Silverchair - Neon Ballroom
Mansun: The Attack of the Grey Lantern
Dummy - Portishead
The Verve - Urban Hymns
Massive Attack - Protection
Faithless - Sunday 8pm
Previously:Final Straw - Snow Patrol
Stone Temple Pilots - eponymous album
Throwing Copper by Live
No Parlez by Paul Young (my partner's £1 charity shop bargain)
Grace by Jeff Buckley
The End of History by Fionn Regan
Shadowlands by kd lang
Italian and Mexican
(Especially the amazing Mexican feasts cooked by my youngest daughter) But I am improving my Mexican cooking skills - I made a gorgeous guacamole today (25/07/10)
Italian food and wine
Of course you are supposed to put 'my family' - otherwise you look uncaring!
In the end I could do without a lot of things - I might not have a choice
I practice conversations in my head
people who are special to me
when I'm going back to Ireland
drinking wine and eating crisps
like most nights . . .
You don't think I am going to be the solution . . . I will more likely add to your problems!