28Ottawa, Canada
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My self-summary
OkCupid does not provide "Bacon" as an option for the Diet field. So, just in case you're wondering, my diet consists almost entirely of "bacon."

OkCupid does not provide "Disney Prince" as an option for the Body Type field. That's Ok though, that would attract the wrong type: sorry princess, your prince is in another castle. So I had an inner monologue that went a little like this:

"Hey, not_moriarty! No one ever puts Used up as their Body Type. What does that even mean?" [he glances out the window at the Salvation Army a block away] "Oh. Well... Shit. Whatever, I'm just going to put it anyway and pretend it doesn't mean homeless." — Me, just now, in my head, which is residing very much inside my home.

Also, I didn't really go to space camp. I wish I did. But I totally want to start a space camp and call it "Jamaican Me Spacey: a Jamaican-themed Space Camp."
What I’m doing with my life
I work an undisclosed agency in the Market. I can't tell you its name, for your own safety. Wait, does that make me sound like an escort? Shit. I was going for a Jason Bourne type thing. He's definitely on my celebrity list; not Matt Damon, just Jason Bourne.

I can tell you that I work at a really cool tech company in the Market. We make it easy for you to setup an online store. You know, to sell all those Beanie Babies that you always promised your Mom would make you so much money one day.
I’m really good at
Executing velociraptor escape plans.
Synchronized facepalms.
Typing in boxes.
The first things people usually notice about me
The hats. Or the vests. Or occasionally the bow tie. It's my assault on the commonplace.

I have an excellent sense of direction. Also, depending on the moment, a keen eye will notice I may be time travelling.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Has anyone in this family ever even seen a chicken?
I Will Survive. By Cake.
Dystopian novels.
Six things I could never do without
I’m an empty essay... fill me out!
I spend a lot of time thinking about
My favourite words are bombastic and hyperbole. The superlative locution noted in modern parlance could be found to be bombastic hyperbole. This sentence brought to you by meta bombastic hyperbole.
On a typical Friday night I am
Kicking in the front seat, sitting in the back seat; gotta make my mind up, which seat can I take?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Sometimes, when walking around a corner, I still put my arms out and pretend I'm an airplane coming in for approach.

Ok, I do this often.
You should message me if
- You feel like it;
- You like riding bikes;
- You are the world's only consulting detective;
- You are a time traveller from the future and have a message for me.

ESPECIALLY that last one.
The two of us