30 Washington, United States
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My self-summary
I am not a dinosaur. I don't know too many terrible lizard people. I'm not sure why so many people have -saurus as the end of their user name.

I am a male great ape, and compared to my closest relatives I have an unusually upright posture, little body hair, and a small stomach which means I prefer my food processed by fire. I have considerable mental faculties, and with them extend my lifespan.
What I’m doing with my life
I form symbiotic relationships with plants and animals, guiding their growth and reproduction for my own purposes. I reshape the land and reroute the water around me. I seek shelter and build complex communities through kinship, trade, and politics. I communicate verbally with a variety of languages and visually with a wide array of symbols. Uniquely among the various species inhabiting Earth, I search for understanding, meaning, and intellectual stimulation.
I stare at a glowing rectangle and evoke changes on it by smashing my digits against small buttons. In these and other ways I seek love, companionship, and the answer to life, the universe, and everything.

From what I glean from people's profiles, I am prone to argue about the Oxford comma. Let's just say: it is correct, and anyone intentionally leaving it out is obviously a gibbon.
I’m really good at
Complex stereoscopic color vision, slow maturation, and marked sexual dimorphism. I have surprising stamina and can hunt prey by exhaustion.

I domesticate animals, mine and refine metals for tools, and have superficial tribal instincts. I purposefully ferment beverages to temporarily alter my mental state. I have a firm grasp of logic, geometry, and higher mathematics.

I have put the seeds of Mother Earth into space, and have sent mechanical envoys to the outer planets. I know that the world is quantum-mechanical and generally relativistic, and I believe the Church-Turing Thesis is a physical law. I have split the atom, decoded the DNA of life on Earth, and laughed at cat videos on YouTube.
The first things people usually notice about me
I have notably mobile shoulders, dextrous fingers and opposable thumbs, a characteristically large brain, and true bipedalism.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
A sampling of my favorite music was recently launched into space.

I am omnivorous, but can adapt to a wide range of diets. I cook, and have developed agriculture and dairy farming; all three possibly effected evolutionary change in my biology.
The six things I could never do without
My five senses, and water.
On a typical Friday night I am
At a quiet bar sitting and talking with friends, or at a movie, or playing a board game somewhere, or at a house party, or cooking something, or seeing some live music, or recovering from the week at home with a good book or movie.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Sometimes I make things up because I am uncomfortable with uncertainty.
You should message me if
you are an interesting, sapient, modern-day simian;
you appreciate the joke/rant that is this profile or have a correction to offer;
you don't mind silly word play;
you like holding hands.