Pretty funny for a girl.
I'm going to school for mortuary science. Yes, really. Whatever joke you have, I guarantee it's not funny.
People on the internet sometimes pay me to turn their ideas into short stories. So, you could do that. Or don't. I mean, I can't make you do anything.
"You've worn that shirt, like, three days in a row" -everyone else
The Jerk, Natural Born Killers, The Machinist, I Think We're Alone Now, Frost/Nixon, American Beauty, The Truman Show, Big Fish, Monster, Cry-Baby, Mary and Max, Heathers, Flight, Space Jam, Labyrinth, We Need to Talk About Kevin, Still Alice, What We Do in the Shadows, Shattered Glass, Her, Drop Dead Fred, It, The Martian, The Jungle Book.
The Life and Times of Tim, King of the Hill, The Oblongs, Oz, Community, Weeds, Law and Order, Clarence, Alfred Hitchcock Presents, Broad City, Orange is the New Black, Californication, Bojack Horseman, The Sopranos, The Riches, Wilfred, Leave it to Beaver, Six Feet Under, Scrubs, Flight of the Conchords, Lucky Louie, Pushing Daisies, Little Britain, Dexter, Home Movies, Summer Heights High, Modern Family, Grey's Anatomy, The Office, Black Mirror, Parks and Rec, Arrested Development, Breaking Bad, Freaks and Geeks, Orphan Black, Nurse Jackie, Goosebumps, Bob's Burgers, United States of Tara, Twin Peaks.
Jane's Addiction, NWA, Garfunkel and Oates, Math the Band, High School Football Heroes, Amy Winehouse, The Refreshments, Bright Eyes, Wallpaper, A Published Life, Say Anything, Portugal. The man, Flight of the Conchords, Buttress.
I just put peanut butter on everything and call it a day.
My fish, Peanut Butter
Actual peanut butter
Validation on OkCupid
The moon, probably
'Could I handle prison? God, what if I end up in prison?'
'That was probably a very inappropriate time for a Drop Dead Fred reference.'