I work at a job that I love. I used to be in the service industry, and having a 9-5 life is a hard adjustment.
I enjoy drinking, but not getting drunk. There is a line, though; and I am often teetering on the edge of it, and it is lovely.
I would rather spend ten minutes in London than ten days at Burning Man.
Cat cuddler by night, bike straddler by day.
I can connect everything to either an attraction, restaurant, or hotel at Walt Disney World. Seriously, try me.
Ironic and unironic misandry.
Being the big or little spoon, wherever I am needed.
Do you know what Pepper's Ghost is? I'll explain it to you at some point.
I flirt shamelessly with everyone, especially you.
Stravinsky and Copland and Joni Mitchell and German Expressionism. Female surrealists.
Humming "Age of Consent" while either walking or bicycling home at night.
History Channel documentaries about secret societies, ancient aliens, or cryptozoology. I know it's bullshit, but I just devour it.
Women, of course.
Coming up with new ways to express the human body and its wheres and hows, whether through some abstract metaphor, or by decoding the sound of bones, or when skin slips over skin. Give me a minute, I can come up with something better.
I don't want to be one of those people who present themselves through their social/political selves. I truly do give many shits about many things. Intersectional feminist and proud.
I do not sew, I do not garden, I cannot knit, but I am so glad that you can, it is so nice that you do, please understand that craft nights scare me to death.
I want to move back to Florida in twenty years, where I will be one of the leathery women in Key West wearing a sarong and flip-flops for the rest of my days. This is not a high expectation for myself.
You have an arsenal of bad puns and jokes and can't wait to use them.
You identify with any of these phrases:
You like the idea of something casual-sexy that includes a lot of impassioned conversation.
You are 100% into public displays of affection.
You are really excited about meeting my cat. About meeting any cat, really.
You don't mind that I told you that story so I can tell you this one.
You want to go to the theater because, like me, you really need more of that in your life.
If there is a sort of growl when you smile and a sort of purr when you sigh.
If you are a time-traveling Katherine Hepburn, message me immediately! I will keep you secret and safe.