27Baton Rouge, United States
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My self-summary
looking for friends only .

since sometimes this has a lot of bearing on the nature of conversations, let me mention that i am in a monogamous relationship. not interested in flirtation, sexting, sex, or dick/tit/whatever pictures. don't try it.

riddled with social anxiety, please keep that in mind. i want to make friends, but shit's hard. it really is.

p.s. i am not laid back or down to earth. let's be honest. i can be silly and immature as hell, but i'm also uptight as fuck and far too judgmental for your own good.

+ reading/books
+ makeup art
+ pokemon (on 3DS and also Pokemon Go, in which the boy and i are both proud members of Team Mystic. MYSTIC REPRESENT!)
+ RPGs (AKA I spend too much time on Skyrim)
+ alcohol
+ moderate, responsible drug use
+ writing, poetry, writing poetry
+ photography (i take pictures let's take pictures!)
+ fighting the good fight against people who think grammar isn't important anymore
+ cooking
+ listening to music. favorite band is tool.
+ kink/BDSM and kinky play, but not with you
+ loads of other things, PLEASE feel free to ask since another interest of mine is
+ talking about myself, if i feel like the other person is actually interested and not annoyed or pretending an interest. oh, and
+ writing letters. real ones, not digital. as in, on paper, sent through the mail (snail mail and penpals!)

that coupled with the other sections of this profile should give you stuff to talk with me about, so go ahead.
What I’m doing with my life
Let me put this to you this way.
Have you ever heard the MUTEMATH song "Typical"?
I don't look like it, or talk like it much, or act like it much so you probably wouldn't know it from hanging around me because I tend to keep those thoughts to myself, but that song, "No Response" and "Walking Paranoia" (all three are MUTEMATH songs) combined pretty much sum up the answer to this question.
I’m really good at
to be honest, i don't know anymore.
The first things people usually notice about me
I used to say my hair, but I kinda cut it all off. I guess you'd have to tell me.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
THIS IS THE LONG PART. I AM NOT SORRY. If you are capable of reading but don't we probably will not have much in common. Especially if you don't read because it "takes too long" or you actually use "TL;DR" in earnest (that is, you seriously mean it when you use it)

BOOKS: note: i. love. historical. fiction. especially if it's set during World War II.

the fountainhead.
love walked in.

most anne rice vampire books are a go.
a density of souls and the snow garden.

young adult fiction like sarah dessen, francesca lia block, david levithan, rachel cohn.
e.e cummings' works. the sandman series.
verses that hurt.
Poems 4 A.M.
Phoenix Poetry (Baudelaire) even though that doctor was confused that someone my age was reading it at that time.

i liked John Green before it somehow became cool. shit yeah, i'm now a hipster.

Any book featuring Aloysius Pendergast.

James Rollins.

almost anything to do with personal perspectives of WWII-- diaries of Holocaust victims or stories dealing with the Holocaust like Number the Stars or Night or I Lived a Thousand Years or Sophie's Choice or Soldier X or...yeah, i could go for a while.

MUSIC: genres/examples (IMPORTANT: THIS IS NOT A COMPLETE LIST, ask for more!)
rock (tool, a perfect circle, puscifer (anything maynard james keenan touches i'll probably love), robin trower, huey lewis and the news, editors, mew, ra ra riot, the shins, dave matthews band, led zeppelin, MUTEMATH)
classical (philip glass, ottorino respighi, vivaldi)
whatever parov stelar is
electronic/house similar to stromae
whatever john mayer is
hip-hop like digable planets, Pete Rock & C.L Smooth, Queen Latifah
R&B like [[Sade
, Kevon Edmonds, Jill Scott, Goapele...
music in european languages (kaizers orchestra), bis, zalvarinis, Mylene Farmer)
countryish (rascal flatts, dixie chicks, randy travis, alan jackson)

i like a tiny bit of j-pop. and j-rock. not much at all though, because i find asian languages dysphonic as hell.

MOVIES: hm. that's more difficult to answer. one of my favorites is no reservations. boys don't cry, august rush, factory girl, evening, talk to me, the avengers movie and avengers: age of ultron. the collection. you're next. now is good. Saw.

FOOD: zesty/"southwestern" food. my mom's gumbo. tomato basil soup. zucchini. pizza. salmon teriyaki. artisan cheeses.

(did you really read this far? i might quiz you.)
Six things I could never do without
it's probably unhealthy or something to say you couldn't do without your significant other(s) but i mean, in a way, i couldn't (literally, because he's saved my ass in a lot of ways). so: miwo.

books. movies. words. music. lists. my mom. structure. organization in chaos. the ability to think. fingers. cameras. notebooks to write in. black ink pens. stationery to write letters. choices. kinky people. let's be honest, some small amount of alcohol (while my consumption has decreased considerably, i am still what i am).
I spend a lot of time thinking about
myself, really. sex. self expression. work. what i want in a relationship. what i want for myself/my life. kink. my mom and if she is okay.
how i want to decorate my apartment.
whether i will ever fall into feeling like i am a part of any of the -isms of the modern day, or will i just forever feel alone in some ways?
why it's necessary to not feel alone in one's beliefs and values.
how to transcend the need to not be alone in one's beliefs and values.

my strange fear of people's reactions to my opinions, especially since i refuse to change those opinions so that i don't have to fear opinion...? contradiction, seems like. how can a person be terrified of people's opinions of their opinions, but not change their opinions to better the chances of those reactions not being negative? i make no sense even to myself. though i still won't change my opinions unless i see fit to myself.

On a typical Friday night I am
reading. doing internet things. reading. talking to my boyfriend. reeeaaaading. playing Pokemon. playing Skyrim. playing Skyrim and Pokemon while talking to my boyfriend and doing internet things...in between reading.

yeah, i read a lot.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
i am afraid that the more of me you know the less of me you will like as a result of past experience, and i don't let shit go easily. i can and often will be quite petty and am afraid of being inadequate, which i realize affects the way i interact with others.

but i'm really not as awful as i imagine i am, or so i'm told.
patience: it's definitely a mandatory virtue when dealing with me in any greater capacity than being what i refer to as "hi-and-bye friends".
You should message me if
if you've got skype or something and want to chat, especially:

you're into makeup art; you can recommend me some classic literature that won't make me feel like a fucking idiot as i try to read it; you like smoking slim cigarettes in holders (or you like people who do); you do recreational drugs; you're queer or whatever; you can deal with being around somebody who often is a total fucking bitch for fairly textbook reasons--
and especially if you read more than you play video games. seriously, does anyone else read voraciously anymore? am i alone? hello? is this thing on?
The two of us