33Baltimore, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
Hi! I'm Rachel.

I am (a/an):
Cat & dog mama. Marshmallow enthusiast. Comedy nerd. Professional weirdo. Podcast junkie. Hampden dweller. Homeowner. Hello Kitty obsessed. Eternal optimist. Fitness addict. Hamilton obsessed. World traveler. Indoor kid. Excessively energetic. Polyamorous. Kinkster. Caffeine addict. Moderately adventurous. Intersectional feminism. Nasty woman. Hufflepuff. Trash panda.


IG: 0mgitsRachel - it is basically an account devoted to my TWO (2) cats. And sometimes the dog. Cause he's too handsome.
What I’m doing with my life
Cat wranglin'! Then snugglin' the wrangled cats.

Memorizing all of the lyrics to Hamilton.

Traveling, when I can.

Taking my dog for long walks.

Drinking a lot of coffee.
I’m really good at
Tying my shoes.


Making banana bread.

Counting to 10!

Eating marshmallows. (That's a skill, right?)

Making waffles.

Making bath bombs!

Making coffee!
The first things people usually notice about me
Probably how short I am. I'm pretty short.
Or the doggo with me.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Neil Gaiman, Janet Evanovich, Charlaine Harris, Margaret Atwood. Douglas Adams. I love the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and the books that followed. The Harry Potters! I listen to a ton of audiobooks. I blow through them super fast. I have a weakness for YA dystopian future. I just finished Marissa Meyer's Lunar Chronicles, and loved them!

Wet Hot American Summer, Empire Records, 10 Things I Hate About You, Amelie, Moon, Elf, Sleepwalk with Me, Safety Not Guaranteed, Take This Waltz, Damsels in Distress, Kevin Smith everything(Mallrats is number 1), ... The Science of Sleep, Stranger Than Fiction, Clueless, Attack The Block, Serenity, Brick

Difficult People, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Wet Hot American Summer: First Day Of Camp, Parks and Recreation (I love Ron Swanson!), The Office, Bob's Burgers, Billy On a The Street, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Fringe, @midnight, Community, 30 Rock, It's Always Sunny, Silicon Valley, Archer, Orphan Black, Another Period, Lost Girl, The 100, Nashville, The League, Wilfred, Battlestar Galactica, Girls, Glee, Doctor Who, New Girl, The Mindy Project, Seinfeld, Firefly, Arrested Development, Party Down, the state, Dollhouse, Veronica Mars, Buffy, Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog, Joss Whedon everything!

Hamilton, Dear Evan Hansen, Les Miserables, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Once, Wicked, Priscilla Queen of the Desert, Avenue Q, Kinky Boots, RENT, Rocky Horror, Book of Mormon, Something Rotten!, Billy Elliot. Etc, I've seen a lot. Seeing soon: Come From Away, Amelie

I've caught the Hamilton-fever and the Hamilton cast recording is basically the only music I listen to these days.

The Uncluded, the Decberists, Mike Doughty, They Might Be Giants, MisterWives, Jonathan Coulton, Garfunkel and Oates, Tegan and Sara, the bird and the bee, Robyn, Chromeo, Regina Spektor, Soul Coughing, Jenny Owen Youngs, Fountains of Wayne, Death Cab for Cutie, Rilo Kiley, Ani Difranco, Matt and Kim, Phoenix, Ben Folds, Weezer, The Blow, Bon Iver, Florence + the Machine, Leila Broussard, Common Rotation, Motion City Soundtrack, Lily Allen, He's My Brother, She's My Sister

Teen Creeps, Slumber Party With Alie and Georgia, Throwing Shade, How Did This Get Made?, 2 Dope Queens, Lady To Lady, The Room Where it's Happening, The Dollop, Who Charted?, My Brother My Brother and Me, Sawbones, Trends Like These, Totally Beverages and Sometimes Hot Sauce, We Should Have a Podcast, Ronna and Beverly, Doughboys, Comedy Bang Bang, You Made It Weird, Gilmore Guys, Spontaneanation, Missing Richard Simmons, Hello From The Magic Tavern, With Special Guest Lauren Lapkus,Buffering the Vampire Slayer, The Adventure Zone, Pop My Culture, Baby Geniuses, Professor Blastoff, Nerdist, The JV Club, Savage Love (I love Dan Savage) , Doug Loves Movies (I especially love when he has Pete Holmes and/or TJ Miller on.), Sex Nerd Sandra, Cashing in... With TJ Miller, Jordan Jesse Go!, Dining with Doug and Karen, Harmontown, The Indoor Kids, Mike and Tom Eat Snacks!, You Look Nice Today., This Feels Terrible, Poly Weekly, I love the Nerdist, Earwolf, Maximum Fun, Feral Audio, Head Gum networks.

Eugene Mirman, Kumail Nanjiani, Pete Holmes, Howard Kremer, John Mulaney, Aisha Tyler, Maria Bamford, Tig Notaro, Paul F Tompkins, Kyle Dunnigan, Brandi Posey, Natasha Leggero, Patton Oswalt, Michael Ian Black, TJ Miller, Michael Showalter, Tom Lennon, Chris Hardwick, Louis C.K., Kristen Schaal, Doug Benson, Jackie Kashian, Zach Galifianakis, Mike Birbiglia, Jason Mantzoukas, Alli Wong, Brian Posehn ... Etc there are many more. I'm most frequently listening to comedy albums on spotify or comedy podcasts.

I am a pescatarian. Sushi and other Japanese food, Ethiopian, Middle Eastern, Thai, Vietnamese, Greek, Spanish, Korean, Tibetan, Nepalese, Indian. I'm into most ethnic foods. I love breakfast food. All of the fruits and veg. I love fruit!!! Mango. Kiwi. Pineapple, citrus, grapes, cactus pear, persimmons. Everything. Curry pumpkin soup. Challah. Olives. Kale. Marshmallows. Haribo, Brûléed grapefruit. Rice Krispie treats. Almond milk. Popcorn. Cheese. Kale smoothies. Kale chips. Pancakes. Whole wheat everything bagels. Smoked salmon. kale Caesar salads, buffalo sprouts from golden west!
Six things I could never do without
My two cats. Mochi & Aoko ❤️ and my black lab, Vader. ❤️
My Apple devices: iPhone, iPad, MacBook.
Awesome things for my earholes: Podcasts, audiobooks, comedy albums, music.
My awesome family & friends. ❤️
Physical affection: snuggles, cuddles, hugs, back scratches, hand holding, kissing, sex, any sort really.
Cherry Coke Zero
My treadmill I get antsy if I don't exercise.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Kittens. Sweet adorable fluffy kittens.
I think about Mochi and Aoko a lot.


Tardigrades. How are they a thing?? They are so awesome!!

African sand cats! The cutest wild cats ever!

Jason Mantzoukas.


Seriously. Tardigrades? Wtf! They are so cool!!


Jason Mantzoukas.

Lin-Manuel Miranda.

Jason Mantzoukas

Paul F Tompkins

Why does my dog eat everything? Why did he eat the corner of my fleece blanket? Where did he get that rock from? Why is he eating that rock? Will he ever stop eating my shoes? Where does he find all these paper towels.
On a typical Friday night I am
There is no typical Friday night.
Doing something fun.
At a comedy show.
Hanging out with my friends or the animals.
Playing fetch with Aoko. She plays fetch. Though. It's more like she's trained me to throw a toy for her to make it more interesting.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Visually impaired.

I'm kind of sick of Felicia Day.

I don't like Game of Thrones. I tried. I really tried. But... I just can't.

After many tries, I just don't think American Gods is for me. I can't get into it.
You should message me if
You want to! :)

You enjoy shenanigans, hijinks, antics, and tomfoolery. Monkey business will also be tolerated.

You know how to spell. Please, please know how to spell!

You are a fellow kinkster.

You are a fellow poly person.

You want to cook me dinner!

You're actually interested in having a relationship of some sort.

I dig rad badass ladies!! 🌈👭🌈

You are a comedy nerd too!

You wanna go to Harry Potter World! I want to go so bad!!

You know how to play the ukulele and want to teach me how to play.

You wanna go to the beach off season. Your very own private Ocean City!

Wanna play skeeball? I love skeeball!!!

You are looking for new friends. A lot of my friends are moving away. I could use some new buds. :) for realsies. It's hard to make new friends as an adult! :)

You have a passport!

You want to meet for coffee or tea. Or food.

You like fooding adventures! I love brunch, I love awesome ethnic foods. Wanna get Ethiopian or Korean? How about sushi? Thai? Tibetan? Whatever!

"Have a summah" means something to you. Non-summah is a beast.

I am NOT outdoorsy. I will not go hiking, biking, kayaking, rock climbing, tubing, swimming in something that is not a pool, or camping with you. Ever. I just won't. I will however swim in a pool, hang out in a hot tub, or porch sit with you. Porch sitting is about as outdoorsy as I get.

Thinking about signing up for Uber? Maybe you wanna use my referral code! (Passenger code, I'm NOT a driver. I just want those sweet sweet credits.)

Thinking of signing up for a Lyft account? Use my referral code!

You Shouldn't Message Me If:
You think it might be a good idea to call me a "crazy cat lady." Even jokingly. Just don't. I am a cat lady. I love my cats. That does not make me a crazy cat lady.

If you voted for Trump. Please move along.

If you do not consider yourself a feminist, you should also move along...

A note to the men-folk. Quit negging. Just stop it. And if you don't know what it means, please go google it. And then stop doing that thing that you were either aware of or unaware of doing.

If either all or more than half of your pictures are group shots. Please get some solo pics. I don't have the time or energy to figure out which person is the same in 5 group shots. And a note to dude people, that pic of you with your arms around two girls at that bar is not cute and does not make you look like a big important desirable male. So stop it.

If you're just looking for a hook up - I am NOT your girl. I need more of a connection.
The two of us