37Lake Arrowhead, United States
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My self-summary
I always thought it was a bit of a dick move for John Lennon to tell the world "All you need is love". It's like wandering skid row telling junkies "All you need is smack".

Give me your dad's saw and a violin bow and I will play you the most beautifully eerie rendition of "Somewhere over the Rainbow" you've ever heard.

I work part-time as a sub for the public school system which is nice but my real love is for playing music and the culinary arts.

Oh, I think I should throw it out there that I "hate to laugh". Whenever a friend throws on a Mitch Hedburg album I have to cover my ears and I will just book it down the street any time someone says the words "knock knock"... Just in case a joke is about to follow.
I should also mention that I am not "goal oriented", I am "meaningless cliche oriented".

Disclaimer: I actually live in Lake Arrowhead, work in Ontario.
What I’m doing with my life
I came here to kick ass and chew bubblegum... and I'm all out of bubblegum.
I’m really good at
- Playing guitar and singing simultaneously
- Balderdash
- Making eggplant Parmesan
- Mario Galaxy
- Pretending I can hear what you're yelling in my ear at crowded bars.
- Projects requiring power tools
- Pissing off conservatives
- Writing and making fun of the absurd
- Having Larry David moments
- Science
- Tetrising band equipment into vans
- Forging Documents
- Killing on the dancefloor
The first things people usually notice about me
That I've got red on me.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Favorite bands: Beatles, Radiohead, Of Montreal, Pulp, ADULT., Flaming Lips, Mountain Goats, The Faint, Bright Eyes, Sage Francis, Blackalicious, Chromeo, James Brown, Pavement, MSRKRFT, Andrew Jackson Jihad, Magnetic Fields......oh i better stop here.

Favorite movies: Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy, Me and You and Everyone we Know, Walk Hard, The Big Lebowski, Terrorvision, Brain Damage, Indiana Jones 3, The Life Aquatic, Beetlejuice

Favorite shows: Home Movies, Venture Bros, Stewart/Colbert, South Park, Kenny vs. Spenny, Seinfeld, Star Trek: TNG, Kids in the Hall, Good Eats, Metalocalypse, Flight of the Conchords, Archer, Mad Men, Breaking Bad, Brain Games, Through the Wormhole, Cosmos

Favorite Authors: Chuck Palahniuk, Kurt Vonnegut, Dean Koontz (yes, it's a guilty pleasure)

Favorite food: The Stuff
Six things I could never do without
1. The Master Sword
2. Neutrons and their corresponding dance
3. Whiskey
4. Santoku Knives
5. Piano wire
6. Adjectives
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How according to quantum theory, this profile behaves differently or ceases to exist when you're not observing it.

The old IN-OUT-IN-OUT...

How if Sea Horses had been discovered first, they'd just be called horses and cowboys would be riding around on Land Horses.

Why pro basketball doesn't have height classes in the way that boxing has weight classes... think about it.
On a typical Friday night I am
Dying for your sins.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I like Spaceballs more than I do Star Wars. Watchout!
You should message me if
- You're the female embodiment of Jarvis Cocker.
- You know what spins around and taps on glass.
- You're a negative creep
- You'd like to go for a boat and/or kayak ride.
- His noodly appendage pointed you in my direction
- You didn't have any trouble picking out the sarcasm and tomfoolery on this profile.

- You'd like to take this internet stalking thing to the next level.
The two of us