24Spring, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
Good Thoughts. Good Words. Good Deeds.

Welcome to the profile! My name's Kelton and I'm on here to meet interesting, fun individuals who have stories to share! To give the shortest self summary I can: I'm a Humanist who works at a Senior Living Center in the Woodlands/Magnolia area to pay for college and my apartment. Oh! And I'm also a stand-up comedian who's an ESFP. So there's that :p

Want you know more? Ask Away!
Or keep reading. This is a "pick your own adventure" moment.
What I’m doing with my life
Well when I was younger, I wanted to be an ice cream tycoon who owned a zoo in space, but then reality set in and that dream went away from me like a lonesome sparrow... or an African swallow.

I love to hearing people share their life story with me. One of my quirks. I just have a seemingly insatiable desire to feel connected to the unified human consciousness. As a side job and interest, I work as a promoter for a local Entertainment Group, so I'm definitely on a Eat/Sleep/Rave/Repeat cycle haha. I've recently been on a HUGE "Knife Party" and "Dada Life" kick. #Bananarchy Reigns.

My hobbies include grilling, clubbing, chess, sports watching, poker, bowling, darts, billiards, meditation, traveling, movie watching, and camping. I also enjoy talking about philosophy, pop culture, and politics.

When I'm not working or focusing on a project like writing sitcom pilots, creating YouTube channels, or volunteering at the Menil Collection, I enjoy going to concerts at the House of Blues, being with friends at Market Square Park or the Discovery Green, checking out Rothko Chapel, or studying at the Jung center.
I’m really good at
- Comedy! (I Hope)
I maaaaaay just have the personality to make some magic happen and have you actually *want* to hangout with me. One can only hope, eh?

- Making Connections
For some odd reason, my brain just absorbs anything trivia-related, sorts it out, and then lets me spit out this weird combination of information which makes me appear way more knowledgeable than I actually am on more than a few topics :p

- Working
*insert information about how I'm so hard working and never procrastinate on anything everrrr*

- Making Lists
Truth be told, I couldn't think of a another thing. After getting to know me better, please recommend me something to put!
The first things people usually notice about me
1. My sense of humor.
It's been described as "Comedy on Crack" which is funny. I guess. If life crippling addictions make you laugh I mean o.O But I have also been compared to being a cartoon character in real life simply because of what I say and how I react.

2. My facial hair.
Without it, I would look like a giant cherub, but with it I appear to have 300% more testosterone and increased cognitive abilities. Clean shaven, I feel like I'm 12 but with facial hair people think I'm 25 or older :p
UPDATE: I'm actually currently clean-shaven. I don't know if this is a passing fad or if I'm going to stick with it for a while. Looks like only time will tell.

3. My height.
For some odd reason, people always feel a need to mention how tall and broad I am then expect me to act surprised by this. I know what I am (the immovable object) and am more than willing to have you climb me like a tree if the situation arises lol
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Metamorphoses by Ovid,
Hamlet by Sir William Shakespeare,
Dead Souls by Nikolai Gogol
Freakanomics by Steven Levitt & Stephen Dupner, and
I, Lucifer by Glen Duncan
NOTE: Read "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" by Douglas Adams. You won't regret it!

The Cabin in the Woods,
The Yellow Submarine,
The Hangover, and
Don Jon
NOTE: An immediate conversation topic with me is "how good are Disney animated musicals??"

TV Shows:
Breaking Bad / Dexter,
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia,
How I Met Your Mother (HIMYM),
Arrested Development, and
SuperFlyState (Supernatural, Firefly, and Blue Mountain State)
NOTE: Want a great way to get a humorous slant on the news? The Daily Show and The Colbert Report are great places to start :)

Linkin Park,
Kayne West, and
Stone Sour
NOTE: If you don't like Queen, then you just haven't heard enough Queen :p

Medium Rare Steaks,
Chicken Alfredo,
Meat Lovers Pizza with Cheese-Stuffed Crusts,
Anything with Kale, and
My own personal Meatloaf Recipe, (which I am more than willing to share BTW)
NOTE: No notes here, but thanks for checking! :p
Six things I could never do without
1. Humor
". . . because it sure beats hanging yourself!" ™

2. R-E-S-P-E-C-T
(Find out what it means to me, TCB)

3. Love
Because that's what the world needs now. It's love, sweet love. That's the kind of thing that there's too little of.

4. Friends
We all need somebody to lean on. And dear reader, please know that if you've made it this far down my profile, you've got a friend in me :D

5. Mottos
I like "Eat, Drink, and be Merry, for Tomorrow We Die." It encourages me to live life to the fullest and seize the day! "Carpe Diem" and all that jazz.

6. My Projects!
I love being on the go and constantly learning new things! Its exhilarating. When I die, I want to look back and smile saying "no regrets! I lived the way someone ought to have lived!"
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Where I went wrong in life... After all, how hard could it be to become an ice cream tycoon in space who owns a zoo?? :p

But in actuality, I always am thinking of what my next project is going to be. There is always something new out there!

Additionally, I find myself completely enamored with Pop Culture and I regrettably define myself as a "geek" since I am into SO SO SO many tv shows, movies, YouTube channels, and bands.

UPDATE: I've recently become involved in the EDM community and its pretty fascinating! I encourage everyone to check it out. PLUR and all that fun stuff, y'all :p
On a typical Friday night I am
out with the BEST party crew that anyone could have, carousing the town and falling into whatever shenanigans might befall our group of rapscallions, renegades, and rogues.

I never make plans for Fridays because random epicness seems to befall me: My little group has discovered underground bum fights, tent concerts with indie bands, outdoor neon giant chess underneath some overpasses, and a 1930s great gatsby-inspired speakeasy!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
"In the Air Tonight" by Phil Collins is my Jam, the Hookah-Smoking Caterpillar from "Alice in Wonderland" is my Spirit Animal, and I secretly enjoy Pop 40 Hits WAY more than I ought to :p
You should message me if
you would like to meet up sometime soon! You pick and I'll pay, Mkay? Ok :p
The two of us