To describe myself in a nutshell (unless you are allergic to nuts): I’m a basic nice guy; sarcastic, witty, creative and athletic. I can be a little shy and slow to act some times, but I’m working on that. I like to have fun, but I will be serious about the right things. If I don’t smile in photos I don’t think I look good with a smile, but I do laugh and smile often.
If the rest of my profile gets a little sappy I pre-apologize.
I’ll list of some of the hobbies and things I like and spend my free time on because we all like to compare taste in movies and music and books and food, etc. but I think it’s important to describe what is important to me. BEWARE: Some of what I’ve written will get a little sappy.
These are important to me:
ATTRACTION: There’s got to be an initial attraction as well as on-going attraction. In the long run, it’s sort of the least important item, but it’s usually that first thing that catches your attention. If anything is going to work I believe it’s got to be mutual. I think in some cases if you get to know someone beyond the surface, you can suddenly find yourself attracted to someone you may not have been before. Personality can go a long way, but most people bail before giving personality a chance (I’m guilty of that too).
I usually start by looking more closely at people who I feel attracted to, but if the rest of the profile is empty or just not in line with what I’m looking for I’ll move on.
VALUES: I am who I am and believe what I believe and at this point it’s just better to be with someone who shares that. Too often I’ve just made exceptions in this category in an effort to “be more open” but ultimately I never felt like my real self with someone who doesn’t believe the same things I do. I always felt a little . . . compromised, if that makes sense or adjusting myself so I could get along with another person. It’s too exhausting. I go to church so unless someone is willing to go with me or support that I do, it’s probably not a good idea. Stating that cuts me off from a lot of people, I realize or puts me in a position to debate or justify myself but oh well.
SENSE OF HUMOR: I think this is really key. If you can’t be sarcastic, tease each other and get each other’s jokes it’s gonna be a struggle.
COMMON INTERESTS: This is important but it’s also not that important. As much as I’d love to find someone who loves movies/TV as much as I do, loves comic books with a passion and likes working out, going running and generally being active I think it all boils down to being open. I enjoy being exposed to new things and sharing in things that other people enjoy just as much as I do trying to share my favorite movies and things with others.
VULNERABILITY: This doesn’t happen right away, but every dating scenario I’ve been in hits that wall and either you feel comfortable enough to be vulnerable around the other person or you don’t and that’s usually the make or break moment. If you can push past that emotional wall and just expose yourself emotionally with all your insecurities and fears and worries and issues and the other person accepts all that, then it is love. It’s like one of the trust exercises where you fall back and hopefully the other person catches you. I think I’ve only gotten to that level once and it feels great to be unburdened and accepted, but it’s tough getting to that point and then of course allowing it to happen.
I put vulnerability last because I feel like you always start dating putting your best foot forward, trying not to turn someone off until they become accustomed to you, like you to some degree and want to see what will grow. Then it’s the do or die moment. Some people equate sex with this and I think those are two different things and if you though sex up with the attraction and make that a deal-breaker or a condition then you are ignoring all the other more important things. If you don’t share any of the more substantial things and are left to fall back on attraction and sex those both seem hollow and empty (at least to me) and as a result sex would be empty and unfulfilling.
I’ve written a comic book based on a script of mine. We did three issues and I’m very proud of it. If you wanna check it out: www.darkrevelationonline.com
Almost Famous, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Wonder Boys, Pan’s Labyrinth, Children of Men, anything with the Muppets (Labyrinth and Dark Crystal and Neverending Story are masterpieces) or animated flicks made by Studio Ghibli (Princess Mononoke, Spirited Away, Howl’s Moving Castle, etc.) most all comic book movies and TV shows. I also love horror movies and especially the sarcastic ones or genuinely cheesy ones. If it’s too gory and mean spirited like Hostel or Saw I’m not interested. I have a lot of guilty pleasures so if you don’t make fun of my ginormous movie collection I won’t make fun of yours. I love most anything 80s, John Hughes too. Star Wars too, but beyond the original trilogy I’m not much interested (high hopes for the new movies though).
Sometimes I’m more into writers and directors: Chris Nolan, Joss Whedon, Whit Stillman, Rod Lurie, Wim Wenders, John Hughes, Martin Scorcese, Alfonso Cuaron, Guillermo Del Toro, Shane Black, the list goes on. I may add to this as time goes on.
Top 5 Disney: Alice in Wonderland, Black Cauldron, Great Mouse Detective, Little Mermaid, Sleeping Beauty . . . followed by Rescuers Down Under, Beauty & the Beast, Aladdin. I am sad Disney doesn’t do traditional hand-drawn anymore (bummed that Princess & the Frog was probably the last of those ever) and I liked Tangled much more than Frozen.
TV shows if it’s based on a comic book I’m sold, I dig teenage or high school dramas, and gravitate towards sci-fi/supernatural stuff like X-Files or Star Trek. Love Game of Thrones, Teen Wolf, Hannibal. Buffy the vampire Slayer is the best show that ever lived. Followed by Angel, Firefly, Dollhouse, Wonderfalls, Dead Like Me, Pushing Daisies, Party of Five, Roswell just to name a few.
Books: Sad to say I find most of the young adult stuff to be more interesting to me than the adult stuff, but I read more comic books and graphic novels these days. As far as comic books go I’m die-hard DC fan and have difficulty reading Marvel at all – but I LOOOOOOVE all the Marvel shows and movies with a passion. I like fantasy and sci-fi novels but I’m super particular.
Music: Not a big music person but I love movie scores and composers. Some of my favorite film composers are: Hans Zimmer, John Williams, Phillip Glass, Max Richter, David Newman, Robert Folk, James Horner, Junkie XL.
Food: I not a huge foodie or adventurous, I’m pretty basic (meat and potatoes and veggies) I’m in no way vegetarian or vegan and sushi is fine but left to my own devices I don’t eat it alone.
I’m not a big social media guy so if you live on Facebook and twitter and Instagram you’ll never see me there. I have Facebook but I never check it, never post, do not participate.
Someone who shares all the same things I listed above, who can accept a simple guy like me who doesn’t have a lot of means but means to love the right person for the rest of his life. At the end of the day I want that best friend I want to spend as much time as possible with. Sure you’ll get annoyed with each other on occasion, but I feel like despite disagreements, fights, etc. you still just want to be with that person all the time anyway.
If you live too far away, it’s probably not going to work out. I’d like to date someone I can get to see on a regular basis.
I know the manly thing to do is be dominant and pursue the other person, but it’s a two-way street. If I’m ALWAYS the one who is sending messages or texting or calling and generally keeping the lines of communication open through sheer persistence it’s not gonna work. If I’m dating someone and I don’t text or call or reach out and the other person doesn’t either then might as well move on.
I’m not looking for someone who already has kids. I’m not 100% ruling it out as a possibility, but I’d prefer to meet someone who I can start a family with fresh.
I don’t really care much for parties. Small groups, friend gatherings are fine, but if a regular schedule of parties is what you are in to, it may not work out.
I could give or take travelling. I’ll happily do it with a partner who is in to that and I will enjoy myself with the right travel companion, but left to my own devices travel is not something I ever care about or think about. With the right person at my side I’ll visit anywhere in the world, go live anywhere this life takes us, but until that happens I’m cool with where I am.
I will try to be polite and not ignore the few messages I do get, but if I don’t reply in a reasonable amount of time it’s probably not because I got busy or didn’t see the message. It means I’m likely not interested or don’t feel like it will work for one reason or another. If a text is sent and it’s not the middle of the night there’s no excuse not to answer even if it’s to say I’m slammed and will get back to you later. I have learned to pick up the signs, if a text or message is ignored on two or three occasions I’ll just stop. However, if we are at a place where we’ve exchanged numbers and are texting if you aren’t in to me you can freely just say so. I won’t fight you or argue or get mad – it’s just cruel to let someone continue to reach out and leave them hanging. I have done it myself so I’m no saint, but it’s far too easy to just hope someone will go away. I promise to try not to do that if you will too