56Ames, United States
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My self-summary
What will it take to turn our planet, and the country in charge of destroying its cultures and biodiversity? What can we do to remove our support from all that is going wrong, and build communities of sanity, support, healing, and harmony? If you think about those questions too, I think we will automatically be good friends. If you don't, what are you waiting for?:)

Really, I'm as involved in global justice as I am ecological living. I love to travel, experience live music, learn new ideas and skills.

Beyond that, I'm one of those friendship first and always types. Bad at games, so I keep trying honesty. Gets me no where, because spiritual partners are rare. If you value honesty in friendship, that is a good start.

I have come to believe in a universe of energy, instead of the dead matter of reductionist science. So we know a lot less than we think we do. Part of our ecology problem, eh? String theory means there are more dimensions to the universe than we normally perceive.

INXP the first time, INFP every time since.

I'm very interested in permaculture, ecovillages, social entrepreneurism, self-reliance, season extension, food drying and preservation, solar building and retrofitting, cooperatives, pragmatic and empowering education...

I'm re-reading Mindful Loving, which was very helpful in dealing with my biggest heartbreak around 5 years ago. If you have read it, or can recommend another relationship/spiritual growth book, I'd love to hear from you.

Lots of other things to talk about, but if any of that interests you, maybe the rest will too.

I am imaginative, committed, and curious

Please don't try to fit me in a romantic-shaped box. I don't fit, it's been tried. Each relationship should be handmade, not store bought.

“If you pour a handful of salt into a cup of water, the water becomes undrinkable. But if you pour the salt into a river, people can continue to draw the water to cook, wash, and drink. The river is immense, and it has the capacity to receive, embrace, and transform. When our hearts are small, our understanding and compassion are limited, and we suffer. We can’t accept or tolerate others and their shortcomings, and we demand that they change. But when our hearts expand, these same things don’t make us suffer anymore. We have a lot of understanding and compassion and can embrace others. We accept others as they are, and then they have a chance to transform.”
What I’m doing with my life
I recently returned to 40 hours per week, from 32, as a library cataloger. The rest of the time
I'm mostly thinking and doing what I can for a sane future.
I’m really good at
Listening, problem solving, bullshit detecting...
The first things people usually notice about me
Tall, skinny, bald... Soft voice (did I just wake you?), centered persona.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
a) Castanada, Vonnegut, Hesse, Alice Walker...
b) Monty Python, Brazil, Syriana, The Corporation, Occupation 101
c) Pat Metheny Group, Bela Fleck, Greg Brown, David Rovics, Karan Casey...
d) Indian, Thai, local fruits/vegetables
e) podcasts: Le Show, Alan Watts, TMBG, Democracy Now, TED talks
f) tv: Daily Show, Colbert Report, Now, South Park, Book TV
I spend a lot of time thinking about
a) Peak oil, global climate change, the dollar slowly swirling down the drain. How does it all play out? What will life be like with economic and ecological stress and unpredictability? How much better set would we be if we prepared now instead of waiting for the shit to start flying?
b) Penultimate relationships--why do we waste our time looking for that ultimate relationship? Until we find the relationship that teaches us the skills we need, the frame that will encompass that ultimate relationship, we are looking the wrong direction. Like climbing a mountain by following a straight line from bottom to top. Why don't we seem to have an instinct to think strategically? When you stare at what you are looking for, does that help or hurt in the hunt?
c) Communication, self-knowledge, functional selves and families. Is trust a goal or a starting point? If the nuclear family is the result of capitalism, what more supportive form will evolve with "ecologicalism"?
d) Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain, he knows whats best for you...
e) Civil society--is reforming government and corporations the best way to re-form functional communities? What about voluntary cooperative organizing? Vote with your feet, hands and minds, create a new future with like-minded people... Bootstrapping through community.
f) The disconnect between our words and our actions. The complexity of using both to change from how we have been programmed to who we would like to be.
g) If we support candidates who are to our right, don't we enable the further migration of our political culture to the right? Shouldn't recognition of Iran's sovereignty under international law be a pre-condition of our support, and undercut the imperial war machine? 50 some percent of our taxes go to support the empire, isn't it a legitimate campaign issue?
h) What is freedom, if not the ability to leave behind boxes, labels and traditional roles, and get to know our true selves? Love isn't a zero sum game. If it's real, it has to be unique. I realize it's kind of like building a bike when you just want to hop on one and ride. But isn't this worth being both patient and creative about?
i) The difference between "romantic" relationships and "spiritual" ones. I think every relationship I've had has ended up on the rocks of romantic expectations. I'm sorry, I always choose to be authentic, not Hollywood movie. Anyone got me on that one? A spiritual relationship is two people looking at what is, and imagining what could be. Much different than the programming of our culture.
j) Thinking about how to get some wilderness time this year. I love to drive and camp. Invite me along:) Or I'll drive. I'm good at long distance driving.
k) In the last 6 months, I have met 2 women here who both knocked me into major change and rethinking. I see myself as an experimental soul. The defenses I constructed to survive are cramping my growth. How can I best live without them? I'm very grateful for what I learn from each authentic encounter. My goal is not to find, but to be open to teaching and learning both. Bodhisatva. The universe will take care of what history has shown I can only screw up anyway:)
l) Healing relationships, learning relationships. We seek friendships and permanent partnerships, but aren't there other unique relationships we could agree to enter? Mix and match from friendship and partnership, in order to climb higher in our personal evolution, and support the other person in their advancement/healing as well. I'm very interested in exploring and discussing this with others wondering about these questions. I'm open to travel to, travel with, online discussion, though in person communication is the richest.

One thing I should explain. I joined OKC a couple relationships ago, in its early days. Back then, the point of the questions was privacy, so everyone would answer honestly. So I haven't hidden my answers, I have only taken time to share some of them. If there is one you need to know, please ask! I have mostly revealed ones that are fairly clear and uncomplicated.
On a typical Friday night I am
More than likely home with the kitty, catching up on Daily Shows and Colbert Reports, and reading one of several books always going.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Character flaws: stubborn, overly idealistic, overly introverted and inner world centered. Sometimes impatient, lacking perspective. Too often avoid immersion in other cultures, especially mainstream American culture:)
You should message me if
You are curious about anything I've said, or you just like meeting new people and learning about them.
The two of us