30Los Angeles, United States
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My self-summary
I don't really look it, but on the inside I'm actually a 46 year old lesbian.

Update: I've been told I do look it.
What I’m doing with my life
Right now I make a living getting assholes drunk at a hotel bar. Since it seems that no one is willing to accept that bartending is not just a placeholder while I pursue my dream of being a famous actor/model/director/fashionwhatever/ generallyfamousperson, then fine, geez, let's talk about what the future will most likely actually look like:
When I go bald I'm keeping the ponytail. You can't fight this I'm sorry, the decision is made. I'll just have to get a job teaching creative writing at a charter school. Cause that's what old bald dudes with ponytails do. Right?
I’m really good at
Lifting things up then putting them down. Putting off doing the dishes. Ruining anyone sane's good mood. Laughing about how doomed we are with the broken. Getting you drunk. Getting me drunk. Maintaining composure in public then drinking myself into oblivion while watching sci-fi TV geared towards teenagers.
The first things people usually notice about me
"You'd look so handsome with short hair."
Bitch, I'm handsome now.
Don't try that shit with me. It won't end well.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Margaret Atwood, John Irving, Lars Von Trier and Joss Whedon.
Folk music/folk rock, 90's alternative, modern alternative(if that's even a thing?)

I have to admit that I never understood hip hop until I heard "I Don't Fuck With You" by Big Sean. That song is perfect.

Six things I could never do without
-Boys with tattoos (Even shitty tattoos. Doesn't matter much. Just tattoos.)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The dogs I'm going to adopt once I get married and finally have someone at home to walk them for me.

(They're going to be pit bulls, and they're going to be fucking sweet as pie)
On a typical Friday night I am
Getting you drunk
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm not a very nice person.
You should message me if
You can handle the fact that I will not meet you for brunch. I work all night and I sleep all day. So. No brunch.
The two of us