30 Marshfield, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
Note: The large creepy baby head behind the MFA is hollow, difficult to find purchase on, and also prone to rolling. Although I may have just had trouble because of the cold? I dunno, whatever.

*Another note: Some of my life circumstances have changed since writing this and some of the answers to questions. I'm in the process of rewriting some of those answers and comments, so just be aware that some references to what I am currently involved with may not be applicable.*

I'm a humble introvert.

OK so you're looking for a guy? Your search ends here, I am the bitchin'est boyfriend ever, grade A dateable material.

You want a sensitive guy to listen to how terrible Stacy treated you? I will hug the shit out of you and hold a box of tissues so you can cry more tears than the Cherokees.

You're looking for a partner in crime? I'm the ideal getaway driver, can drive large vehicles, trucks, whatever. Standard? No problem, I learned how to drive on a fucking standard. I can drink coffee, send hilarious text messages, juggle, and shift simultaneously. Talk about crazy multitasking? I make driving extremely dangerous.

All hot and bothered? Again not an issue. I can accommodate any and all desires and needs you may have. No questions, no judgements. I will wake you up with goddamn oral sex on Valentine's Day, your birthday, whatever, 7 fucking days a week I'm yours.

Remember that incredible vacation we went on to that exotic location? No? Well that's because you didn't bother to respond to my incredibly well crafted and thoughtful message, and I had to take hotgurl32 rock climbing, scuba diving, and hiking through the frigging rainforest instead of you. We made sweet sweet love under the gorgeousest fucking waterfall in fucking south America. Are you jealous yet? We didn't even get sick from drinking that shit. She goddamn near exploded with pure ecstasy. After that I seronaded her with a plethora of perfect pitches delivered in vabrado. Pitches love vabrado.

Your last boyfriend hated Thai food, Indian food, Mexican, whatever. Not me. I fucking love food, I eat anything and love it. I don't care where it came from, especially if its in an expensive restaurant. The best part? I look in-fucking-credible in a suit and tie. You would have to be absolutely crazy to *not* want to have the arm of such a charming and devilishly handsome gentleman such as myself. And I'm humble as shit. Bring me out to the fanciest restaurant you can find, I live to impress.

Adrenaline fuels me. I'm as likely to jump out of a plane as I am to walk down the stairs. I have an unhealthy lack of fear. I hope some terrorist tries to shoot up a place I'm at, just so I can fuck that bitch up and show all his pansy-ass friends what a pussy he is.

Bottom line: you do not want to miss out on or pass up an opportunity to be with me. I am the greatest thing that can happen to you. Fuck you if you think otherwise.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm a single father with primary custody, so my life revolves around my 2 boys 5 days a week or so (it is going to be a while before you meet them). I am a self employed, successful private contractor, I set my own hours to work around the kids. I like the freedom to work how I choose and the autonomy of doing things my own way. I like challenges. I'm independently reviewed so you can see what other people think of me!

Paying attention to current events, local, political, everything. I like to think of the world as a whole and where I might find a place in it. I listen to Pandora with one ear and NPR with the other. Take that literally, though the metaphor is attractive now that I see it in print. You can have an ear too, as long as the NPR ear isn't listening to "Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me", or Radiolab.
I'm game for a night out, a night in, a romp into Boston, road trip in or out of state. I consume adventure with a fiery passion. Maybe a bit over zealously. Seriously, even OKC has "more passion-driven" as my dominant trait. That's right, stalk the shit out of my profile and wonder at how connected you already feel to me. Is it mutual? All this online dating stuff is mysterious.

My shit is together. As much as one can keep one's shit contained.
I’m really good at
Wordplay, sarcasm, appearing mischievous, laughing, compliments, using fragments of sentences, flavors, engineering custom solutions, romantic spontaneity, finding the exact right phrase, being pedantic, massages
The first things people usually notice about me
"I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not right now"
- anyone I've ever held a conversation with

My beard. Eyes are up here, ladies.

I am extraordinarily resilient, and have the strength to always work hard and land on my feet. You'll only pick that up if you're intuitive though, or if you read it here, first.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Kurt Vonnegut, David Sedaris, Robert Jordan, Vonnegut, Douglas Adams, H.G. Wells, H.P. Lovecraft, Orson Scott Card, Vonnegut, Isaac Asimov, Vonnegut, Bradbury. More. Did I mention Vonnegut?

Two Door Cinema Club, The Shins, Cake, Franz Ferdinand, Lilly Allen, Modest Mouse, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Zox, Tristan Prettyman, Muse, Kate Nash, Death Cab for Cutie, Regina Spektor, Bon Iver, radiohead, Ok Go, the Strokes, the Arctic Monkeys, The Postal Service, Thom Yorke, Daft Punk, The Fratellis, Ocelot, Deadmau5, Pendulum, Kaskade, Justice, Ingrid Michaelson, The hush sound, The Decemberists, Tarkio, and far too many more to list, my typical sound is alternative, something dark or ironic. I also have a soft spot for select singer/songwriters.

I love italian, indian, mexican, french, american comfort foods, desserts, hors d'oeuvres, cheese is kind of a big deal (cheddars and goudas, not so much swiss), asian foods, fresh vegetables, fish of most kinds, anything trader joe's; I've only set one thing on fire unintentionally. I am pretty educated about food, and I know how to eat really well, but sometimes I just want a steak bomb with mayo and pickles.
The six things I could never do without
I am ridiculously low maintenance.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How in my personality traits it has me listed as both "more literary" and "less well read". How do you know how much I've read okcupid, and are you really fit to judge that way?

Current Events, Red Heads (yes that is a proper noun), Philosophy, steampunk (and how little I have compared to how cool I think it is), neuroscience, astronomy, physics, gadgets, our place in the universe ("less why we are here" and more "where the hell are we, really"), politics and the preservation of the status quo at the cost of foundation rattling progress (and how shitty that is [the staus quo, not the progress]), Nikola Tesla, the existence of Atlantis , old gadgets like The Antikythera Mechanism, the periodic table of elements, portmanteau; like frust, procrasturbate, and parsec.

If multiverse theory is correct, then you and I have already dated an infinite number of times, been infinitely married, infinitely broken up, and infinitely stood up by one another. We have an infinite number of children, have an infinite number of degrees, and have physically touched each and every solitary piece of the world's soil. I am not intimidated by the here and now, what will be and has been goes on forever into eternity, all we can do is enjoy the ride in the present, and trust that the universe has every possible base covered, because it does.
On a typical Friday night I am
In Boston, at a bar or a show or a friend's place. But maybe we could do something fun.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I've done some modelling.
You should message me if
You would like a response. As a rule everybody gets one, as I know how much it blows to get blown off.

You love to laugh.
You know when to take things seriously, and can let it go the rest of the time.

You want to come hiking in the blue hills

You want to visit a meadery.

You want to try out archery.

You want to do a high ropes course.

You want to go to a show (theater, music, comedy)