PlusFiveToInt
35 Palmdale, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
PlusFiveToInt
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
I'm more of an amateur crastinator, really.

I always read the location and gender right below my username as a sentence instead of a series of separate data points, which makes it sound like Jeff Bridges is telling me where I live is just, like, my opinion.

I wrote the parody of Gilbert and Sullivan's Modern Major General below for use in my profile because I apparently have very few creative outlets in my real life? ...and a guy I know called it "woman repellent" (he actually referenced a very specific part of the woman but I'm far too classy to repeat it here) because he has no appreciation for catchy showtunes. We don't talk anymore for unrelated reasons, but the hurt lives on.

I am the very model of a single guy on OKC
I've dated in the outside world but haven't found the girl for me
I signed up for this website to meet up with women various
In hopes I find a cute one that thinks this profile's hilarious


I pride myself upon my wit, compassion and intelligence
I avoid complicating things; I prefer simple elegance
Though very analytical I prefer acting silly best
As aptly demonstrated here (and don't pretend you're not impressed)


You'll often find me cracking jokes and rarely find me serious
My favorite time of night is when it's so late you're delirious
And so in hopes of finding somebody with whom I'm meant to be
I am the very model of a single guy on OKC
What I’m doing with my life
I work for the government. We sent some guys on a pretty long trip back in the late sixties and apparently it's still kind of a big deal. If we both play our cards right one day I might be able to send you a "Wish You Were Here" postcard. From space. Have you ever dated a guy who sent you actual written correspondence from space?
This message brought to you by the U.S. Postal Service.

I can quote lines from the Matrix unironically. Mostly just the "I know kung fu" line. But knowing kung fu also means I can protect you from ninjas. You've never been attacked by ninjas, you say? Neither has anyone else, until the moment they're attacked by ninjas. Have you ever dated a guy that could save you from invisible assassins?
This message brought to you by ancient China.

Using my profile as a creative writing exercise every couple weeks and then neglecting it like that guitar you were absolutely going to learn to play this year.
This message brought to you quite a while ago at this point, probably.
I’m really good at
Making you laugh. Which is perfect, because statistically you have written on your profile that you love to laugh. I can make that happen, and often. Have you ever dated a guy that enabled you to do something you love all the time?

Also, a couple weekends ago I won a game of Sardines, which is apparently like a reverse hide-and-seek where 14 other people try to find you. But they actually never did, so I'm adding "hide-and-seek" to this section. With my phone. From that hiding spot. Still.

Please find me. I'm so hungry.
The first things people usually notice about me
I've been trying out a lot of new colognes lately, so the first thing people notice about me is that I smell good. However, since I try not to bathe myself in it, that's only the first thing they notice if I've somehow walked up behind them undetected. They sniff the air like a startled deer, and cautiously turn around. Surprise!
Sneaky sneaky!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
The other night I made "wub wub wub wub wub wub" noises at my friend's dog. She barked at me and tried to gnaw on my face, so I think I proved that German Shepherds do not appreciate dubstep, using science.

If I could see a movie written by Douglas Adams, starring the cast of Monty Python, with a soundtrack collaboration by Bad Religion and Paul Oakenfold at a sushi bar, well that would be just swell.
The six things I could never do without
Ups
Downs
Lefts
Rights
Bs
As
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Why do they make my dish soap smell like bubblegum and taste like dish soap, then act like it's MY fault when I have trust issues?

If our world was two-dimensional, would every tax be a flat tax?

Puns
On a typical Friday night I am
Drunk with power. Power is kind of a lightweight, though, so I usually have to drag it back home at the end of the night after it makes a series of poor decisions. Just great, power.
Great responsibility usually invites itself, but leaves early to go to bed.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm not sure I'll ever actually be over getting told to throw my hands up in the air. I also have no idea if this joke is even still relevant in our constantly-shifting pop culture landscape. I'm not gonna remove it, but look at how self-aware I am!

Sometimes, when nobody is around, I talk to myself in a British accent. I am not from England.

I want to meet my future girlfriend while volunteering in a soup kitchen. Then, when people ask how we met, I can say, "We found love in a homeless place."

I once looked up how to make a quesadilla on the internet because I figured it had to be more complicated than "put cheese inside tortilla, apply fire." It wasn't.
You should message me if
You're a velociraptor. I have a thing for clever girls.
More