I steal Bibles from hotel rooms.
I can remember nearly every joke I've ever heard.
I have a ridiculous sense of smell.
I don't have facebook.
I don't understand why everyone takes a car selfie.
Comedy is my primary method of seduction.
Logan Square is the new anal.
I made the front page of reddit. What have you done with your life?
Always knowing which way North is.
Making people laugh.
Always ending up in the train car with the crazy fuck who won't shut up.
My voice. I get compliments on it all the time.
Tarantino, Wes Anderson, Kubrick, Star Wars, Man on Wire, King of Kong, Cremaster, Life is Beautiful, Dead Snow, It Follows, Suspiria, The Professional, Away We Go, 8 1/2, Clockwork Orange, Se7en, Harold & Maude, The Fall, Marwencol (this movie will break your heart).
Stranger Things, Walking Dead, GOT, Sense8, Arrested Development, Always Sunny, Archer, Twin Peaks
Bowie, Man or Astro-man, The Kills, New Pornos, The National, Pixies, Neutral Milk Hotel, Bjork, Radiohead, Big Star, Band of Horses, MGMT, Mercury Rev, Guided by Voices, T-Rex, Magnetic Fields.
How do you know if someone's into the burner scene?
Oh don't worry, they'll never shut up about it.
My glasses. I sometimes find myself walking around my apartment looking for them when I wake up. It sucks trying to find my glasses without my glasses.
and the zombie apocalypse.
I like lady gaga.
You'd like to join me for a midnight movie at Music Box.
You likewise wear or have an affinity for eyeglasses.
You have a favourite planet.
When startled, you are prone to exclaiming, "Great Ceasar's Ghost!"
You want to hold hands.
You want to go snowboarding.
Your idea of a fantastic date is drinks in, assembling legos, and making each other laugh til we pee.
And you don't describe yourself as "sassy."