28Somerville, United States
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My self-summary
This profile is guaranteed. If it's not amusing, you are entitled to a time refund. Please submit your complaints to The Providers of the Hourglass, ∞ Endless Boulevard, Vast Multiverse.

The world is full of treasure and hidden secrets, intangible or tangible alike, which are always worth seeking.

Somewhere outside mainstream and rebellion,
simply enjoying existence.

The cornerstone of my sense of humor is comprised of (surrealist) things that are wholly ridiculous, yet assert themselves as serious. Glitches, accidental juxtapositions, and "you can't make this shit up" to give a few examples.

Life isn't meant to be too serious. Don't let anyone harsh your vibes.
What I’m doing with my life
Among other things, tutoring and lesson design. I'm open to new paths if they're related to entrepreneurial or scientific passions I've cultivated as a natural result of curiosity.


Being told that I look like Jon Snow. It's kind of hard to unsee. (Finally caught up on Game of Thrones.)

Getting one of the high scores on a local Arkanoid machine (before it broke, then got fixed again, then...broke again). Hooray for free play!

Learning how to plant grass seed. (Actual "you step on it" grass, as in fairness the other meanings are popular.)

Establishing a reputation as the guy who brings Bananagrams to every board game night. It's like battle-Scrabble. Looking for more word games to add to my arsenal.

Going to garage sales. Lots of garage sales. Getting very excited at massive arrays of supplies and long-forgotten inventories at estate sales.

Bowling - which makes me think, how DID they set the pins by hand?

Accepting free baseball tickets no one else was using (season tickets, generally) and yelling out "sports!" whenever something happens.
I’m really good at
Attempting to be resourceful, either making the most of what I have or acquiring new things. I occasionally take pride in unconventional accomplishments.

Playing with pyrotechnics, including accidentally making fireworks. (Wasn't too crazy, but the popping noise was unexpected.) Recently: made a fiery cake for a friend's custom-metalworking project to slice in half.

Inventing spicy pulled pork pizza. Did you know the sauce doesn't always have to be plain tomato? That's the future, dudes.

Singing the 1990s Mentos theme song whenever someone says "fresh".
The first things people usually notice about me
For lack of a better term, I flow. Overcoats and scarves when the weather allows, plus fast walking speed, combine into something like a slow-ish blur.

So far I've been hard to faze (unless I'm made to laugh, which thankfully is pretty often) while also not shying away from most to all topics of conversation.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
♫ Reggae, jazz, techno/electronic/stuff without lyrics (and with).
It all makes for fantastic background music. Try listening to smooth jazz 25-100% faster than usual, it is quite entertaining.

Pasta, pizza, chocolate. Pulled pork sandwiches, cheese-steaks, soft pretzels.

The description-defying Old Spice commercials of the last few years.

Stuart Little, The Phantom Tollbooth, any nonfiction that makes the mundane interesting.
Six things I could never do without
Love, freedom, amusement, knowledge and wisdom, prudence with money/resources, and something I can only put into words as "the amazing feeling of just existing."

Not real:
The ability to kick things and have them be on fire, the ability to super-jump, a picture of myself from 10 years before I was born.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
A world with more corrupted politicians, in the sense of 'software error' instead of 'self-serving and greedy'. Badly programmed presidents would be hilarious, yet unfortunate.

"The failure mode of clever is asshole", a phrase which makes the world a lot more understandable.

"There is time to be lost", which was initially used in a silly internet video but is actually quite profound.
Similarly, wisdom in strange or accidental places.
On a typical Friday night I am
Keanu Reeves.

The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I am extraordinarily anti-bullshit (username is relevant) with the main exception of deploying it to break through other bullshit. There are so many things I wish the world would open-mindedly discuss more often instead of forcing outdated methodologies on everyone.

It'd be great if I could do a good Nigel Thornberry impression.
I also want to be able to make the static sound generated by old television sets, because I've begun to find it hilarious.
You should message me if
You like to explore, whatever that means to you.

If you want to play a randomly generated game of TEXT ADVENTURE, I am experienced in generating wondrous landscapes with only a moment's notice.
The two of us