I'm looking for a friend with benefits without the friendship..
My glass is ALWAYS half empty. In fact I'm surprised I even have a glass.
Motorized scooter riding and LAZY.
Sometimes I get supervised visits with my kids. No, not conjugal.
No anal the first time we meet. I have rules.
Trapped in the payday loan cycle.
Chasing the dragon.
Stealing candy from babies.
Apologizing profusely when caught.
Kueefing (german spelling)
Watching reality TV.
Stealing tips from tables and not getting caught.
Forging paystubs to get payday loans.
Finding a third.
A purse made of recycled condoms.
That I have my hand in their pocket
My lazy eye.
That my vagina looks like ground beef.
The tattoo of an anus on my lower back.
TV shows: ALF, Silver Spoons, Different Strokes (hahahaha)
Books: the book of common STD's at the free clinic, the hotel room nightstand book
Music: Carly Rae Jepson, anything by an American Idol Winner, especially that fat black guy.
Orange Oompa Loompas
A pocket knife
A prepaid cell phone
Two in the pink one in the stink
If I should pop it or just leave it alone?
Pretending to be someone else.
Sniffing the glove.
On a more serious note...I have had sex with two men named Janus.
Also, why spend money on Summers Eve between tricks when Dr Pepper does the trick?
If you say you are funny in your profile and it doesn't make me laugh, you aren't funny.