Additionally, I think there should be litmus tests for accessing the internet and for having children—if you've made it this far, you should be very proud of yourself.
I'm also really good at Jeopardy—like, crazy good. Play me sometime.
Movies: Animal House, The Blues Brothers, Beavis & Butthead Do America, Office Space, Independence Day, Predator, Terminator 2, Mallrats. I'm also secretly terrified I'm doomed to live out John Cusack's role in High Fidelity.
Musically speaking, I'm into a pretty wide variety of genres. I used to play a lot of classical and jazz, so I'm with it if you can talk Coltrane or Stravinsky. I also used to be a little scenester in high school, so I can play literally every Brand New song on acoustic guitar—which, incidentally, was sort of my post-party-dorm-room M.O. in college. These days, I tend to gravitate towards indie-pop, singer-songwriter, and Americana-tinged stuff.
Oh, and meth. I can't go without meth.
That's six things, right? I can't count very well.
I mean, probably having a drink with friends—maybe getting into a bit of trouble.
I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm a walking, talking cliché.
I have, on more than one occasion, called JG Wentworth, because I get long term payments and I need cash now.
-You can handle your liquor.
-You can make jokes about the following things: apartheid, the holocaust, abortion, physically/mentally handicapped people, China's "One Child" policy, AIDS, Joseph Kony/child warfare, etc.
-You don't take yourself too seriously.
-You take yourself super seriously.