Girls, let's dispense with the bullshit.
Not ONLY did I just quit smoking, I am ALSO willing to be a kept man. Just give me some money for expenses and a place to crash. Some toys would be cool too... I like Harleys, and Ferraris too.
I don't know about Oxford commas, though. I am ambivalent there, I think, but I am not sure.
---LE OLD INTRO BELOW---
Real respectful, do your own thing kinda guy.
I like somebody who can hold a conversation into any and all topics.
Or maybe I am just another creep that wants to get laid with a pretty lady like YOU, reading my profile, RIGHT NOW. (What a scummy perv!)
Translation: Nothing is guaranteed in life. Take your chances.
Translation: I dynamically reposition chunks of iron air while fighting the force of gravity, cuz I wanna look good buck nekkid.
Translation²: Kid is trying to look good for you ladies, yes, you, specifically reading this line right now. You.
And that I use far too many ellipsis in my writing...
I am weird, because I am a well-read, classically educated dude who likes current pop and whatever the hot TV shows are. But I quietly watch Cary Grant movies when no one is around... shhh.
I'll go with, "reticent antisocial wacko who is somehow fun to have as a friend".
I definitely need air and water and a little sustenance, don't know about anything else... but being able to cuddle every once in a while, that I cant do without...
...well no, that last line is actually bullshit designed to lure you into my trap. I am fairly well enough alone. I have cats for cuddling, and they are well-fed and properly groomed. They also don't talk back too much.
EDIT: So I went away after letting loose on this stupid little profile, and two weeks later there were two chats waiting for me... wow. Girls like honesty, huh... gonna give this a try.
I am also lousy boyfriend material, I make a good pal though. No. SERIOUSLY, there is no fixing me. I can't be your project.