33 Los Angeles, United States
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My self-summary
If my school teachers could see me now, they'd probably shit themselves. (They might just shit themselves regardless -- they're quite old at this point.) They would probably remember me as a dimwit and a pain in the ass, running around doing whatever made me happy and getting in quite a bit of trouble. They would therefore be surprised to learn that (a) I'm not dead, and (b) I'm finishing up a Ph.D. (in Linguistics) and applying for jobs as a college professor. HOW COULD THIS BE, they'd say to themselves in capslock!

I haven't really changed that much, though. I managed to fall in love with learning stuff, which means I'm still doing what makes me happy (but the nature of that "what" has changed a lot). I no longer act like a dimwit, but I do act a fool, and I'm definitely still a pain in the ass. (But in like a charming sort of endearing way, like one of those dogs that needs to be let out to pee a lot, or else he defiles your new throw rug. But not one of those little yappy dogs, that's not me. Wait, why the hell am I comparing myself to a dog? Not all men are dogs. I am no dog. I do need to be let out occasionally, though.)

To me, the most important thing in life is happiness, but not just MY happiness; so, I strive to be polite, to make people laugh, to live by the golden rule, and to leave the planet a little better off than I found it.

To summarize my summary: checkered past, bright future, decent person.
What I’m doing with my life
Finishing my dissertation, but wishing I were floating around on the Pacific in a sailboat. These can theoretically be done at the same time, so if you own a sailboat, message me.
I’m really good at
Horseplay, tomfoolery, and japery; talking quite a lot, telling ribald jokes, and generally making a bit of an ass of myself; spelling, punctuation, and a variety of other nerdy talents; breaking stuff, fixing stuff, and losing stuff. I'm also really good at manual labor and repetitive, menial tasks -- basically the polar opposite of what an academic does (oops).
The first things people usually notice about me
My girly eyelashes.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
How could they combine all these into one question? These are some of the best things in life! Expect this answer to be quite long (no surprise there).

Books: I'm a glutton for literary punishment, so I like really stuffy novels and short stories, especially mid-19th century American lit (Poe, Thoreau, Hawthorne, etc.). For better or worse, I studied this stuff in college (BA in English Lit). My favorite author is Melville, and my favorite of his stories is Benito Cereno. I'm also a massive Shakespeare fan.

Music: My musical tastes are probably the most incongruous thing about me. I listen almost exclusively to black music -- hip hop, dancehall, jungle, soul, Motown, etc. I've been listening to this stuff since I was about 8 years old...there's just something about the rhythms that grabs me. Anyway, lately I've been listening to a lot of underground hip hop, mainly Showbiz & A.G., Large Professor, NYGz, and Action Bronson; older stuff includes Gang Starr, Big L, Ice Cube, etc. For the sake of brevity I won't even go into my love for jungle (a dance music that started in England in the mid 90s, basically sped-up dancehall with lots of crazy drums). I own turntables and like to mess around with mixing some of this stuff, but I'm just a "bedroom DJ" -- I don't play gigs or anything like that!

Films & TV: My tastes are sort of all over the place here, so I'll just list some favorites. Films: Big Trouble in Little China, Desperado, Ace Ventura (both of em), and anything by Aronofsky, Fincher, Lynch, Nolan, and Tarantino. TV: I'm completely obsessed with a BBC comedy called The Thick of It, which I recommend to everyone. I'm also into almost everything that HBO does, particularly True Blood and Game of Thrones. I watch Top Chef whenever it's on, which brings us to...

Food: I'm definitely a "live to eat" type. I despise the term "foody/foodie" (partly because I have no goddamned idea how to spell it), but it's probably an apt description for me. I love trying new things, and I consider good food to be one of life's great pleasures. I was raised to appreciate fancy artisanal foods -- wine, cheese, meat, olive oil, all that sort of thing -- basically, stuff I can't really afford to enjoy regularly...yet. In the meantime, I indulge when I can. I'm also just as happy slumming it, e.g. I will swarm on an In-n-Out burger or a King Taco tamale.
The six things I could never do without
Music, great food, craft beer, bad puns, good conversation, and off-color jokes with colorful language.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Language. [Warning: nerdy stuff ahead!] I study Linguistics, which is the scientific study of Language (in general, i.e. not necessarily any particular language, although many linguists have specializations). In a nutshell, I'm interested in syntax, which is the study of how words are put together to form sentences, and typology, which is the study of how languages are alike (both in what's possible and impossible) and how they differ.

Yes, it is EXACTLY as awesome as it sounds. I love it!
On a typical Friday night I am
Looking to have a good time with friends, whether that means staying in or going out. If I'm going out, I generally prefer places where I can try an interesting beer and hear what other people are saying to me, but from time to time I definitely enjoy going to a noisy club and shaking my booty like a fool.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I've never seen Rocky Horror Picture Show. Is that a big deal?
You should message me if
Any of the following describe you (check all that apply):
□ witty
□ intelligent
□ independent
□ outspoken
□ sophisticated
□ you've made it this far through my long-ass profile (whoops!)