26Seattle, United States
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My self-summary
I like to think of myself as a mixture or Ted Mosby and Jake the dog with a dash of Yoda. Although one time my friend and I got really stoned and she told me that Im like a combination of Deadpool and Beast.

If I sent you a message that was strangly worded chances are I sent it while stoned.

I've been told I'm really funny in a dry intellectual sort of way and have a sharp wit, Also I've been mistaken for Jemaine Clement, Ernesto Guevara and a black guy.
I like going outside in the middle of the night when the rain is absolutely pouring. I've recently discovered that I'm actually pretty good with kid after having to watch five kids all under the age of 8 at a pool and none of them even died.

Side note: Ive done some pretty badass things in my life, I have been involved in a car chase and even though I was shooting a nerf gun at a Prius my friend was driving it was still awesome, I also jumped from a moving car once even though it was only going like 10 miles per hour it looked cool. Don't let these anecdotes give you the wrong impression just because I've done incredibly stupid things does not mean I'm stupid, right?

Im pretty laid back, and by that I mean a guy once was accidenlty standing on my hand nearly a minute and all I did was calmly say ow a few times.

Other side note: I one day hope to have two cats named Chairman Meow and Saddam Pussein.
What I’m doing with my life
Im an apprentice for a construction and remodeling company, I get to wear a hard hat and try not to walk off five story tall scaffolding.

Other then that I sleep and go on tumblr a lot with the occasional night of heavy drinking with my Ballard friends.
I’m really good at
Fixing things that aren't Cars.
Making jokes of all types.
Falling off mechanical bulls.
Making furniture out of milk crates.
Finding cool stuff on the ground. (I've found Ray-bans, a zippo and leatherman to name a few.)
Sweeping I was a laborer for two months it was pretty much all I did.
Sending texts with really awkward typos.
Massages I actually get told that I should be a massage therapist a lot.
I also do a pretty good gay Al Gore impression.

I like to cook play guitar and trombone and screen print.
The first things people usually notice about me
Either my height or my facial hair I have been likened to Chewbacca, a pug and a Burly southern gent.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Howard Zinns a People's History of the United States of America, The things they carried, the white tiger, Tank Girl, Death Troopers, Red Harvest, World War Z, Never have your dog stuffed, Persepolis, Joseph Anton, Man Of Misconceptions, Going After Cacciato, Hellboy comics, League of extraordinary gentlemen, Stumptown, Prison Pit, anything HP Lovecraft.

Star Wars, Expiration date, Hellboy, Fight Club, Heathers, The Emperors New Groove, Snatch, Coming to America, Beverly Hills Cop, Red Dawn, Django Unchained, Abraham Lincoln vampire hunter, 28 days later, American Gangster, Spirited Away, Harlem Nights, My Neighbor Totoro, Pretty much any documentary that isn't poorly made.

How I Met Your Mother, Scrubs, Rugrats, adventure time, Regular Show, the walking dead, falling Skies, E.R., Cowboy Bebop, Samurai Champloo, FLCL, The office, parks and rec, community, 30 rock, archer, Louie, The league, SNL, Hell On Wheels, Community, Trigun,

Wait Wait Dont Tell Me, Ask Me Another, Science Friday, Radiolab, Foreign Dispatch,

For music everything and I mean everything but modern pop, most heavy metal, smooth jazz, bad rap and most country. Some of my favorites are Radiohead, The Unicorns, The Johnny Thunders, The Shins, JDilla, Ratatat, Rjd2, Daft punk, The ink spots, Chopin, Rachmaninoff, Debussy, Weezer, Richard Cheese, LCD soundsystem, Tommy Doresy, Johnny Cash, Wilco, Kids and Animals, The Blue Scholars, John Williams, Run DMC, The Beatles, Nirvana, Queens of the stoneage, Cake, The Avalanches, the Black Keys, Left lane cruiser, The White stripes, Neutral Milk Hotel, The Black Angels, The Red Elvises

As for food, I like pretty much everything BUT acorn squash and clams

and so many more for all of these categories
Six things I could never do without
Having been pretty damn poor for most of my life and even homeless for a little bit I've found that I can get along just fine without a lot of things so I'm just going to leave it at that.

Tumblr could probably be on the list though.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Why my Bob Dylan impression is the same noise as my E.T. impression.
On a typical Friday night I am
It varies but there's usually beer involved.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Apparently when I sleep I have the jimmy-arms.

The background on my phone is Skeletor being licked by a puppy.
You should message me if
If you want to start a Cake cover band called Pie

If you like scruffy looking nerfhearders.

If when you were a kid you thought quicksand was going to be a much larger issue as an adult

If you want to get to know me a little better before though my Instagram is Walrusmang,
My Tumblr is Kaibosh,
and my Facebook is Cjizzleforshizzle
The two of us